Heroin ain't got nothing on you
by Smile-J
Summary: Edward left her in the woods. Bella was destroyed. Here is the reason she fell apart, why their departure hit her so hard. Vampires are the ultimate predator, everything draws you in...
1. Chapter 1

**Heroin ain't got nothing on you.**

I don't own anything. I love other characters and want them to play a different game!

_Edward left her in the woods. Bella was destroyed. Here is the reason she fell apart, why their departure hit her so hard. Vampires are the ultimate predator, everything draws you in..._

Chapter 1

Six years after they left, I'm reborn yet again. I've died twice now yet my broken heart still beats.

My dad faked my death the first time for my safety, as well as his own not to mention the rest of the community. I still stay in contact with him but he knows how to keep our communications hidden. I learnt my Dad is more resourceful than most people give him credit for, including myself. He may be quiet but he spends his time listening. He used all his contacts from work and some that, well it's best not to ask too many questions, to create me a new identity and a new life at the other side of the country.

I still need to stay hidden, Victoria is still out there somewhere but the wolves haven't caught her scent in La Push or Forks since they faked my death.

This time, most of the ground work for faking my death fell to me. Dad helped me with most of the paperwork for my next new identity and all the other paperwork that goes with it, doing some himself and giving me his contacts for the rest to get the job done. The cause of death is the same as last time, another car crash. Yet another tree bites the dust in an effort to keep people safe. The main difference is it's me that is the potential threat this time. Vampires are a still the reason I can't live a normal life.

My second incarnation, otherwise known as alias, did very well for her self and made a shed load of money. The research to find out what is wrong with me, lead me to making the money. It is also the reason I have a good idea what might be coming.

I bought an isolated house and a huge parcel of land soon after the money started coming in. You would be amazed at the number of huge properties built over the years in the wilderness. House may not be the most descriptive name for the huge isolated property I decided to renovate. I had it all updated so I can continue my research from there. Now I need too. I have acquired quite a few parcels of land that adjoin mine, some with properties on them but many just acres of wilderness. It's amazing what you can get when you have the funds and determination. I should have plenty of area to hunt without as much fear of encountering humans.

I got quite upset when an empty property about 10 miles along the ridge wasn't available to buy, the agent told me the owner wouldn't budge, even at over the odds prices that I was offering

When Bella Swan died, I made sure even if I came across anyone from my past life they wouldn't recognise me for their own safety and the safety of everyone back at home. I've lived in disguise for most of the last five years. Living in isolation has the advantage that I can get rid of the disguise at long last. I have hidden myself from others for so long, I'm not sure who I am any more. I drove myself to find answers, never relaxing to spend any time living. I'm changing into something I fought to be, until I the reason I wanted it threw me away. I don't want to do this alone.

I have spent the last two months at the house. Not having to spend time every morning donning the disguise is still a relief but it comes at a cost. Now I like my own company and crave solitude to a point but I'm well past that point now. My research is no long such a driving force. Books are great to a point but finding something new to read is always a challenge for me. Films are all well and good but they just don't hold my attention. It's the pain that makes everything so difficult.

I found an 'Anonymous letter to normal people; letter to people without Chronic pain' on the web. It sums up parts of what I go through but I have had to hide that I'm even in pain, pretend it doesn't even exist. I put a smile on my face as the last part of any disguise before I walk out of the door. Here, all alone, it's harder not having anyone to pretend for. I find I focus on the pain instead of trying to hide it and that just seems to intensify it even further.

My resistance to testing the synthesised venom is sliding further each day. The tests I did on test tubes of blood were hit and miss. I'm not sure I want to be the guinea pig for the test if it fails. The blood cells in the failed tests look like a battle field, it's not the sort of death I want to face. The burning pain is so bad that the fear of it working or not are becoming smaller and smaller reasons not to give it a go.

Day after day not seeing another soul catches up with you. I don't want to spend eternity alone. I decided to make a supply run just a distraction, to have some contact, someone to talk to. It took the best part of half an hour to don all my latest disguise, I hate having to hide this way. Between the wig, the latex mask, the fake scent and the padded clothes, I look totally different from either Bella or Annabel (the alias, in case you were wondering).

I have a huge 4x4, I need something with a bit of power behind it just to get in and out of my remote home, it's red, my nod to the truck Dad got me. I feel I need mountain climbing qualifications just to get in and out of the thing but it drives like a dream and can cope with the terrain. Living in the wilderness is all well and good but roads are in short supply!

I was a good hour into the drive when she landed right in front of my truck. Another f-ing red eye vampire staring at me, just what I need. What has fate got against me? I may hurt like hell but I've fought to stay alive this long, I don't intend giving up. I reached into the door of the truck and pulled out a bottle of special perfume, one I prepared for circumstances just like these. The anti vampire pepper spray looks just like an innocent bottle of scent!

She glided up to the door of the truck opening the door. That's when I struck, spraying her directly in the face. Essence of wolf with a few other nasties added in for good luck should distract her for long enough for me to put some distance between us. I hit the accelerator. The door slammed shut as the truck surged forward.

Looking where I was going rather than back at the vampire I realised she wasn't alone.

I hit the brake, I love my new truck. There is absolutely no point driving into a vampire, all it will do is wreck my truck and shake me about, the pain of that just isn't worth it.

"What?" I yelled through the window at him.

"We come in peace?" he said through a smirk.

"You lot never come in peace, what do you want?" I grumbled back at him.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

"Isn't that what we are already doing?" I shot back at him.

"Will you come with us so we can sit down and talk?" he asked back still smirking at me.

"Do I even get a choice about it?" I retorted, mumbling under my breath, "Pushy fucking vampires."

He laughed out loud at me, "No, but I was trying to be polite and considering what you did to my mate. What did you do to her?"

"It's just a scent bottle, obviously I didn't do any lasting harm but it should have been enough to distract her while I got away, until you got in the way. I love my truck. I didn't see any point in wrecking my truck by driving into you. The truck would be totalled and you wouldn't have a scratch," I have verbal vomit. I really need to someone to talk to!

He paused and looked at me, "All we want is to meet the neighbours. I think I'm being very reasonable with you."

"In my experience vampires are never reasonable, between trying to kill me, wanting to eat me, hunting me, infecting me and abandoning me, I haven't much respect for vampires," I grumbled.

"You're not very sociable are you?" he asked smugly.

"I do have some sense of self-preservation. The last red-eyed vampires I came across all tried to kill me, Excuse me for being wary," I mocked back at him.

"My Mama taught me not to play with my food. If I wanted a snack I would take it, not talk to it. Shall we try and start again. Hello neighbour, would you like to visit our house so we can get to know each other. We promise not to eat you, pretty please!" he threw a bow and an arm flourish in at the end. I had to hold back a snigger at his theatrics.

"Fine, do I get to drive or are you going to drag my ass cross country," I relented.

Holding back his laughter, "We'll go slow so you can follow."

The female was stood by him now, I guessed he was checking she was okay as she nodded at him at the same time as clipping him around the back of his head. Looking at me she rolled her eyes and shook her head at him, I like her! I spray her with vamp pepper spray and she blames him not me.

The chance of some company is appealing. I had a good feeling about these two, they make me smile. I must be losing my mind, all these years avoiding people and I follow the first vamps I run into. Being honest with myself, company and the chance of some help with impending vampdom are pretty big draws.

A half hour or so of driving later I was driving up to a house with a similar style to mine, I snidely thought mine was bigger and better maintained. It unnerved me to realise this house was only just along the ridge from my own, my nearest neighbours are vampires. Just my f-ing luck! My research had come back it was unoccupied but the owners wouldn't sell.

I jumped out of the truck. The spray firmly tucked into the back of my jeans, the shape-changer tooth and lighter hidden just inside my sleeve as always. It may be an outside chance against two of them but a girl can only go down fighting.

...

Many thanks to Kemq for taking a quick read, making a few suggestions and giving me enough confidence to post this story.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N

Many Thanks to those that reviewed and those that added story and author alert or favs. I really appreciate any comments, especially constructive criticism!

A couple of reviews pulled up for errors; spelling and grammar. I appologise. Any help or assistance would be much appreciated. I am English and so are my spellings and turns of phrase - I hope that doesn't cause offense!

:)-J

P.S. Many thanks to the fanfic author that created the Peter and Charlotte I have based mine on. I love the 'I know shit' Peter! I'm can't remember which story came first but I'm sure it's in my favs!

Previously:

_I jumped out of the truck. The spray firmly tucked into the back of my jeans, the shape-changer tooth and lighter hidden just inside my sleeve as always. It may be an outside chance against two of them but a girl can only go down fighting._

**Chapter 2**

The woman spoke first, "I'm Charlotte. I'm so sorry for the way we approached you but my imbecile of a mate decided it would be more fun that way. He saw we would get to know each other."

"Not another f-ing seer, just what I need," I swore under my breath. I blame it on spending too much time alone, I keep talking to myself, bad trait when dealing with vampire hearing.

"I'm not a seer," he sneered, "I just know stuff."

"Yeah, and that just makes it so much better," I gave back with just as much attitude.

"What the hell are you? How do you know so much?" he snapped at me.

I laughed, "Poor little vampire know it all, don't you like it when you realise you don't know everything?"

He glared at me and stomped into the house. Charlotte and I's laughter chasing his heels.

After the door slammed and the dust settled Charlotte turned to look at me again, "We have no intention of hurting you. Peter does have a gift of sorts. When he gets like this, it has always been important and it works out, no matter how irritating he can be. Would you like to come in?"

I sighed, what the hell, I was here now, I've little left to lose, maybe they can help. At least they haven't tried to eat me yet...!

I stepped towards the house with a nod, "Sorry about my initial greeting, past experiences left me to believe distract and escape is the best option."

She smiled, "It's forgiven but can you get Peter with that spray at some stage, I think he deserves it. It's really rank, what the hell is it?"

"It's a long story but I'm sure I will enjoy treating Peter to a whiff of it," I winked at her.

I felt at ease with her. I only met her such a short time ago but she feels like someone I click with. I haven't felt this comfortable around anyone for a very long time.

Charlotte led the way into a large sitting room. Peter was already seated on a sofa, Charlotte went to sit with him and I lowered myself into one of the overstuffed chairs.

Rather that sit in silence I decide to break the ice, "So Peter and Charlotte, my closest neighbours in this, not quite as empty wilderness as I had hope for. Tell me a bit about yourselves."

They looked at each other, then back at me before Peter said, "Wouldn't you prefer to go first?"

"Nope, thanks all the same..." as I twisted my hand to encourage them to go first.

"We've owned this place a quite a few years. We move to a different area every few years. Peter decided last week it was time to move back in here. When our brother went out hunting, Peter decided we should go for a run. We heard you coming and he told me to approach you first, the rest as they say is history," Charlotte filled me in, looking to me to give my account.

I filled them in to the same level of detail, "I reached a point in my research where I was hitting brick walls so I decided a change of pace was in order. I bought my place a few years ago. I moved in two months ago, I was just going on a supply run. I got far more than I was anticipating."

I heard Peter growl softly, I giggled at him. The shock on his face was a picture, "You heard me!"

"I'm not deaf," I retorted.

"What are you? You know about vampires. You seem human, I can hear your heart beat but you're too fast, too strong and your hearing is too good. You mentioned other red-eyes trying to kill you, how are you still here?" he questioned growling as he spoke.

"Of the red-eyes that tried to kill me, two out of three of them are dead now. The other is still after me but I threw her off my trail," I answered, probably giving them more questions than answers.

"What about the 'trying to kill me, wanting to eat me, hunting me, infecting me and abandoning me' comment?" he asked with annoyance.

"That's easy, the red-eyes I mentioned hunted me, tried to kill me by throwing me round a bit then took a bite before the first one died, the rest of your list, well, there is some overlap, but that was done by a different group of vamps," he eyes widened at that.

"Bite, but..." he started to ask.

The back door flung open and a figure stumbled in, as if in huge amounts of pain.

We all leapt up to help him. Now I may still have a beating heart but how human I still am is a bit unclear, I'm fast, not as fast as a vampire but not far off, so I reached the figure only moments after the other two did.

As my hand touched him he screamed in agony, I flinched away.

"Torture, why?" he bit out, then he lunged at me.

Before the other two could react his teeth were in my throat, cold venom pumping into my blood stream.

Relief, the venom bought cold followed by searing heat but relief at the same time. Peter and Charlotte were screaming at him to stop, trying to rip him from me. I gripped on to him as he clamped himself around me and he pushed more venom into me. He sealed the wound in my neck then unwound his body from mine and stepped back.

I stood unmoving. I concentrated on breathing as the heat spiralled higher than ever. It was a clean heat, not as oppressive as the burn I endured for so long.

Silence descended.

Peter and Charlotte looked at me radiating shock and horror in their every feature.

I gasped in recognition as the face of the figure that bit me registered.

He looked questioningly at me for nearly a minute before turning to glare at Peter, "Report," he spat out.

Before Peter could speak my heart made it's self known. It raced for a couple of minutes before stuttering then with an explosion of fire that seared in a flash through every cell then it stopped, I staggered then straightened. I sighed in bliss, the pain had gone, "Thank fuck for that, you won't believe how much better I feel! Thank you Jasper."

He shot a look at me in total shock then turned and glaring even more fiercely at Peter, "Report."

Peter glared at me then looked back at Jasper lowering his head in submission as he saw the unyielding anger. The fear in Peter escalated.

"Enough Jasper, Peter didn't do this to me. Now lets just sit down, Peter can give his 'Report', not that he knows much even with his crappy 'I know shit' gift, you can calm down and I can fill you in on the last few years," my orders had just as much authority as Jasper which shocked the hell out of all of them. "Let's sit," I commanded with steel in my voice.

I sat back in the chair I was in before, Jasper pulled another chair closer so all three of us were in his line of sight.

"Peter," I indicated he should fill Jasper in first with the limited amount he knew.

He knew someone would be passing the edge of their territory that was important for them to meet. He gave Jasper a very military report on the morning events. As his report finished every eye turned to me.

"So Jasper, long time no see. You got your teeth in this time. Shame you missed last time, it could have saved me years of pain," I told him with just a hint or so of sarcasm.

"I never met you before, vampires don't forget," so much anger in him, "How the hell did your change go so quickly. What are you?"

"You knew me, you even protected me for a while. As to what I was, well, that's a longer story but I was still essentially human but full details may well explain the speed of the change, I just wish I'd known, I'd have done something about it years ago. The scent is easy to change when you have a psychotic vampire hunting you. Appearance is even easier, takes a bit of work to conceal your appearance to vampire standards but I assure you Jasper we know each other and you did lunge to take a bite out of me before today but you missed last time," I stated.

"I don't miss." he growled out.

"Let me help you remember," I said as I reached up to unfasten the wig.

Shaking my hair out I started to peel the mask off my face. The mask gone I sprayed a quick spray of the scent neutralize getting rid of the fake scent.

"Bella Swan," he whispered in shock.

"It's a long time since I've used that name, but, yes, it's me. I'd say in the flesh but it's a bit on the tough side now," I joked back.

"But you died..." he whispered.

"Yes, but not as long ago as everyone was lead to believe. Now I'm going to take my leave..." I didn't get to finish the sentence as the all jumped up yelling, "NO."

I rolled my eyes at them, "Have a little compassion for the newborn, why don't you. The throat is feeling just a bit on the raw side, it's not very hospitable to starve your guest."

The fish impressions made me giggle, "I'll come back when I've found some sustenance and fill you all in properly on my history, if you will all promise the same, how's that for a deal?"

I got nods in answer.

With that I shot out of the door, considerably faster than I ever anticipated.

The hillside was teaming with life. Venison smelt most appealing from the options available so I snagged the old stag. After all my worrying it was instinctual. I felt totally sloshy when I had finished. I could feel my body absorbing the meal but I would go for something a bit smaller next time.

The blood was like a shot of calm. All my emotions were in a blender but the blood made it easier to control.

Six years between the initial lunge and getting his teeth in. Six years of hell.

After all my fears and years living in that pain and all it took was venom to put me out of my misery. It's a good thing I didn't try and use the synthesised venom, there was no where near enough compared to the amount Jasper pumped into me.

I had those years gradually getting used to the heightening senses, abilities and thirst so the final upgrade didn't come as much of a shock. I suppose the additional venom just finalized the changes, most of the groundwork had already been completed.

I ran to the nearest ridge and scaled a tree. Perching in upper most branches I surveyed the land and just enjoyed the air and the smells of the forest. Peace. I hadn't realised how the pain had influenced every aspect of my life until I was free of it. I feel more alive now without a heart beat than I ever remember.

I remembered my promise and headed back for the inquisition.


	3. Chapter 3

_Many thanks for the reviews, favs and alerts. It's great to know that someone is enjoying the story. This chapter still doesn't give you the answers but it does give a few hints, I'm afraid you'll have to wait for ch 4 for the breakthrough. I think this story takes a totally different twist to normal - I just hope my mediocre writing skills hold your attention long enough!_

**Chapter 3**

I could hear pacing, "Jasper, chill. She will be back."

"Grrrr," the only response.

I ran, landing gently on the porch. I knocked on the door then opened it, not waiting for an answer.

Three faces turned to watch me enter, I saw their faces change to shock, "Your eyes."

"Sorry, it's a bit difficult to see my own eyes without a mirror, so you need to enlighten me further," I can't help myself, sarcasm comes automatically now.

Charlotte dashed out of the room, returning with a mirror.

I looked at myself, my eyes were predominately gold, "What's the big surprise? Hell, how long did it take from the bite until my heart stopped, I have been in pain since you left all those years ago, changing slowly. I don't suppose there was much human blood left. I've craved blood for years, it came from beef and pig for quite a while now, venison was a nice change of pace. Rose gold eyes should be the least of the shock."

"If you let me tell you what happened since my fateful birthday it should answer most of your questions. I'll find it easier to get through it all if you keep questions until the end," I asked, looking at their faces for confirmation.

I started apologising to Jasper for cutting myself and forgiving his reaction pointing out as an empath he was dealing with everyone's blood lust not just his own. Even when I pointed out he was hit with the blood-lust for a singer he still blamed himself. Yes, but, no, but,... you get the gist of where that conversation went, he still felt guilty as hell over it.

I explained how he left me, left me in the woods. He told me never to go in the woods, 'too dangerous', yet he left me there. His words ripped my heart out, his actions just re-enforced everything.

It took the wolves to find me, not that I knew Sam was a wolf at the time, but... The memory just rubs salt in the wound, how little he cared about me.

The rest of the family leaving without even a by your leave tore what little was left of my heart.

I lost myself. I hid from everything that reminded me of them; the problem was that was every waking thing. I hid from life, the thing that kept me from them, the thing I most resented.

Jasper was furious when he found out what Edward had said and where he left me, he had to take a quick break to re-arrange the woods.

Peter and Charlotte kept me calm while he was gone, "He will need to tell you their side, just wait."

Jasper came back anger and guilt still warring inside him.

It seems Edward and Alice had argued long and hard over leaving me. Alice adamant they should stay but Edward wouldn't budge. They had lied to all the family over his goodbye to me. The rest of the family wee lead to believe I understood they were leaving for my own good, That I asked for a clean break so they left devastated without a goodbye from me. I had a good old growl at that one and a few of the nastier names I developed for Edward seeped out much to the others amusement. College and work had given me a filthy mouth when I got angry. It eased the mood in the room! Peter laughing at Jaspers look of shock at my language, Charlotte and I rolled our eyes at their antics.

I told them how badly I coped initially, that months passed.

My body kept up the pretence of living but without a heart it was a poor act.

The robot I became kept up with school work, cooking and cleaning but that was it. Only in my dreams did my body allow emotions to escape; dreams, well nightmares would be a better description. I dreamt of his goodbye, the heartache and worthlessness destroyed me nightly. I started to avoid sleep, the nightmares woke me leaving me in a sobbing mess, crying so hard I bought back any of the limited food I managed to remember to eat.

I told them about Charlie, my dad, how he doesn't show emotion. I counted myself lucky to get a hug a year. I know he loves me but he just isn't good at showing it or saying it. After months of living with the zombie I became, he reached his breaking point. He phoned Renee, my mum, in hope she would have me back and be able to get through to me. Hearing him in tears, admitting his fears for me out loud, worrying about me, gave me enough of a kick to start trying to act a bit more like a person and less like a robot. I wasn't going to let anyone make me leave Forks, I needed the sliver of hope that they might come back.

I'd pulled Dad's shirt on to slow the shivers as I stood at the bottom of the stairs as I overheard him on the phone to Renee.

I found out later that Sam had borrowed the shirt. Sam regularly visited Billy, as an Elder of the Tribal council, asking advice on Tribal matters. Charlie spent most of his down time with Billy and Harry either fishing or watching sports. Sam always turned up shirtless and much to the others amusement Charlie pushed a shirt onto Sam at every opportunity berating him for his lack of attire.

Charlie and Billy had been fishing the previous day. Little did I know, Dad's shirt hung on the bannister was the one Sam had borrowed, while Sam asked Billy for advice.

My attempts at starting to live again started small, I went to the library. Clothes never had much meaning before, they had even less by then, I just pulled on the first thing I found, that shirt!

I had stopped reading anything that wasn't set as school work. I couldn't even look at any of my books. I had discussed every plot turn, every character trait with him. I couldn't even think his name without a black hole opening up in my heart, it threatened to suck me back into the oblivion I had lived in for the last few months.

Every book I tried to read had something that reminded me of him, every story no matter the genre all lead back to thoughts of him. I walked out of the fiction section dejected.

I looked around the rest of the library, the fiction section was only a small section of the library. Factual it is then, but where to start. I looked at the huge choice, biology was going to be avoided for obvious reasons. So much choice, the only choice I wanted had been ripped away from me, I didn't want choice.

I just stared at the books without even seeing the titles. Something tugged at my mind as I started to recognise the one similarity of every book: The number taped at the base of the spine. My face felt stretched and I realised the corners of my mouth had curled up in a tiny smile, the first, since, well...

I decided there and then I would start at 000 and see how far I got. Computer science, information & general works was the sign above the area of the 0's. With a sense of purpose I strode across the library to grab a stool - I'm a short arse and the first book was on the top shelf. Eight books I can take out on my card, so the first eight books on the shelf were coming with me.

The librarian tried to make small talk but it washed over me, I tried to make the right noises so I didn't upset her. A few umms here and there but I was making an effort, even I knew it was poor but it was better than I had been.

I hauled the books out into the truck, only one stumble and not even dropping a single book. Sliding them across the seat I climbed in. Where to? I didn't want to go home. I just drove. It wasn't until the house came into sight that it dawned on me where my subconscious had bought me. The hole started to open then anger surged in. He took himself, he took his family but the house was still here. Brain a sieve indeed. Humans may forget some things but learning about vampires, first boyfriend, first love, tend to stick in our inferior brains.

I grabbed the top book as I climbed out of the truck. I stomped to the door. I grabbed the handle and to my amazement, it opened. The furniture all sat in the same places, the pictures had gone but most of the stuff remained. My anger at them carried me forward. I screamed, letting the anger, frustration and pain out for the first time. My legs gave way beneath me landing me on the sofa. Collapsing onto it I sobbed. Seconds, minutes, hours later, I have no idea. The tears and sobs stopped and I picked up the book and started reading. As I turned the last page I noticed the light going.

In a daze I grabbed on to the book and walked out of the house, closing the door behind me. I climbed back in the truck and gazed down at the book. Hours had passed and I remembered reading, the pain hadn't overwhelmed me after my crying episode. I read and remembered an entire book. I took in a deep breath and let it out. I could breathe again. I was so coming back here again. This reading lark helped.

Jasper spoke up and informed me Alice had 'seen' me happier having access to the house so she had left the door open for me. That explained that little mystery. That fact she had seen me to leave the door open, yet had left me in that state for so long, infuriated me. Jasper sent a burst of calm so I could continue my story.

I cooked for Charlie and ate properly myself that night. I found my voice enough to apologise for my behaviour. I told him I intended to start and live again but I needed his support to allow me to take baby steps and not to push me. I wanted to stay with him as I knew Renee would be great for me for a full day or two until the next shiny new hobby distracted her. I pointed out the colour of the kitchen when he pushed and just told him I needed time to heal in my own way. I acknowledged I hadn't dealt with things very well at all but that would change. He agreed for now!

I had to explain to them about family dynamics. How Charlie had never moved on from Renee leaving him, the house a museum to her memory. How I had been the mature responsible one in the relationship with my magpie of a mother, she flitted from one shiny new hobby to the next. Mundane things like feeding her daughter, paying bills, cleaning, etc. all getting sidelined for the next fad. I was only able to leave Renee knowing Phil would take over her care. I left to give them time together without a teenage chaperone!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Back to my past, the books only lasted three days, I was back at the library again. I returned the books and got the next eight. It took a few weeks but I even started having conversations with the librarian; June, a lovely lady with long salt and pepper hair. She looked nothing like you expect a librarian to look. Her dry sense of humour and my frequent library visits helped her break part way into my shell. I spent more time talking to June than I did with anyone my own age.

Charlie was overjoyed I had some life in me again, the changes may not have been big but I was taking steps in the right direction. He even got some extra donations for the library. June was overjoyed to order some new books!

When I agreed to accompany Charlie fishing one weekend he got his fish face, you know, total shock, mouth wide and eyes popping out of head look! I'd stopped going fishing with him years before. I spent a few weeks with him in the summer every year. He only went fishing a couple of times while I was with him but as soon as he thought I was old enough and was confident I would be safe in the house by myself he went fishing by himself. He used to leave me with dozens of contact numbers, just in case. After his initial trepidation leaving me he came to realise I was safer in the house rather than my usual accident prone self falling in the water, tripping on roots, stones or fresh air as the case may be. I damaged more lures, got hooks in me, tangled the lines. The list goes on!

He fished, I sat reading. As strongly as I had disliked going fishing with him as a child I came to enjoy our quiet time together in the fresh air. I couldn't concentrate as easily sat on the bank-side or the boat as I did up at Cullen's house but his obvious pleasure of having me with him made up for it. When Billy was there I found I could concentrate easier, may be it was just that they talked to each other rather than me, but I knew it was more than that.

Charlie pushed me to allow Jake back into my life. I spent time in the garage as he fixed his Rabbit. He worked, I read. In the draughty, smelly, noisy garage I could concentrate better than I could in most other places, Cullen's house being the only place better. Jake's friends Quil and Embry were common fixtures after the first couple of weeks. I think Jake wanted to keep me for himself but my book addiction softened his stance. Jake was still possessive of me when they were around but their laughter and joking helped me join the conversation more often.

I hated sitting at home by myself. I had more memories of 'him' in my room than most other places. I found it harder to distract myself from the black hole that was once my heart when I was surrounded by those memories.

I was doing a lot of mileage in my truck, which could never be accused of being economical. Charlie had taken to fuelling the truck up for me each time we went to La push together. I think he could see how I was improving by using it as an escape. Obviously I had argued about the cost but he threw back arguments about him using my fuel to visit Billy. Nothing I said stopped him. The softness in his eye each time stopped me from further arguments. Hugs might not be something he was comfortable with but he was trying to look after me the best he could.

When on a random drive I spotted a couple of motorbikes ready for the scrap heap I made a decision to break my promise to 'him' since his promises to me had been broken. The motorbikes, repairing them and learning to ride them, became common ground for Jake and I but we still never quite clicked. For some reason time spent down on the reservation with Jake and his friends let a bit of sunshine back into my bleak existence but I never allowed it to become more than that. My heart was in too many pieces. Books were reliable, people not so much.

Learning to ride the bikes set off the hallucinations, I heard 'him' telling me to be careful. I put it down to the adrenalin rush. On down days I let the chance to hear his voice get the better of me and I got just a bit too reckless. I visited hospital more than once but I got better at patching myself back up. The smell of blood still made me woozy but I got better at dealing with it.

Jake just kept pushing for more than friendship but I don't see him that way. He got fed up of me reading all the time and turning down his ever more persistent advances and suddenly cut me out of his life. It hurt, okay so that's a huge understatement. He just re-enforced why I should never, could never, let him in. I just buried myself deeper in books.

I still spent some of my time down on the reservation as I still felt lighter down there. I spent my time on the beach or in the café. I went up to Cullen's house for at least a few hours every day if only because of all places the pain is most bearable when I'm there. A heavy down pour hit as I was leaving the Cullen house so I grabbed one of their jackets, I'm sure it smells like Esme's. Sad soul that I am I keep it by my bed for when I wake from my nightmares, just holding it, smelling her scent helped me find sleep again.

I still had the nightmares but I was eating again and not throwing up when I woke screaming.

School became easier. Reading as much as I did, I had already covered all the course work and beyond. My grades had hardly slipped even in zombie phase. Now my problem was boredom in class. June suggested reading in class when I complained about it. I quickly learned the teachers were far more understanding when the book I was reading was related to the subject. The teachers still threw random questions at me to check I was still taking notice of them. I managed to answer every question with ease. Charlie had spoken with the principal about my reading in class, they all agreed I was better like this and they didn't want to lose me again.

Friends were another matter. Angela was the only one that was friendly with me but I never managed to put enough energy in to make it more than that.

It's a good thing I did spend so much time in La Push when I had an unwelcome visitor in the shape of Laurent. I was sat reading on the beach when he found me. Blah, you've seen all the movies where the bad guy talks at you until help arrives, well it takes on a whole different light when you are the one getting talked at and you have no hope that anyone that could help, would care enough. He was making his lunge for my throat when help arrived. Giant wolves erupting from the tree line sent Laurent running for the water. He hardly even got his feet wet as the wolves tore into him. I didn't get to see the whole thing as I was backing up the beach and surprise, surprise, I tripped. By the time I righted myself there was a fire sending a plume of Laurent smoke into the air. The form of the help was a huge shock but this is me and I got over it far quicker than sane people would!

Big mistake on Laurent's behalf and an eye-opener on mine; the Quileute legends are true and it turns out the Wolves defend against vampires in more ways than one.

I got that far into my story by talking over the growls that kept erupting. When I got to Laurent and the wolves Jasper growled "Dogs had to defend her. I told them we should take care of the loose ends but would they listen," as he got up and left the house, the poor forest suffered from another bout of re-arranging.

It makes for a long winded story when you have to pause quite so frequently.

I continued when he returned and told them that Jake stopped avoiding me now I knew they were wolves, well shape-changers. I may have been overly forgiving in the past but that part of me broke in that forest, it shattered with Jakes abandonment. That broken trust was still smarting too much to allow much forgiveness for Jake, we talked but I kept a distance. The fact he kept expecting me to date him may have been more of a deciding factor. Sam was my biggest defender in turning Jake down, wanting to learn from his experience with Emily and Leah, he didn't want anyone to have to go through that.

They all got the 'what the heck' face when I mentioned Sam, Emily and Leah but I shook my head, I'd explain that to them later. If I went off on a tangent now I'd never get through it all!

Life throws changes and answers when you least expect them. It was one of those boring whole school lectures that triggered the start of the biggest change. 'Don't do drugs' was the message, it wasn't until they start to talk about the different symptoms of addiction and withdrawal that the whispers and pointing started. I started listening rather than just hearing. The scary thing was I really was showing some of the classic signs of withdrawal, I looked and acted like a drug addict but I never touched anything like that. Chocolate when my period was due was the height of my addictions unless you count my love of books.

It took a few days before 'his' words came back to me, "We are the ultimate predator, everything draws you in our looks, our smell ..."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

I started researching drugs and their side effects, the withdrawal symptoms. The more I learnt, the more I wanted to know. I pillaged Carlisle's office for medical books in my quest to find more. I read his library from floor to ceiling. My aversion to biology broke, I read every book I could find in my quest for answers.

I found another library in the house, I had guessed it must be Jasper's study; war tactics, law, history and psychology were the prominent subjects in there.

A nod from Jasper confirmed my guess, it was his study.

Other books on all subjects were scattered through the house, the fashion books were always the last resort but I enjoyed the architect, interior design and mechanics books. I read all the books I could lay my hands on as a break from the medical stuff!

I had to rely on the library for the chemistry books. They were becoming more and more important in my quest for understanding my breakdown when he left and the searing pain I still endured.

I'm a stronger person than the break down I experienced. Yes I loved him with my whole heart and would have willingly given up my life for him but I fight to get on with what life throws at me. I had to be strong to survive Renee, much as I love her. Having such a scatter brain mother than can burn water, never remembers bills and needs someone to get her up in a morning so she will go to work, makes a child grow up fast, far too fast. I knew there had to be more to my breakdown than the loss of my boyfriend and his family could account for.

Pheromone research became my primary topic in my quest to find answers.

I took samples of everywhere I could think that may still hold even trace amounts of scent or even venom. Even to the extreme of entering and cataloguing Emmett and Rosalie's bedroom and bathroom – eugh! I also needed control samples so I also built up a catalogue of human and wolf samples.

The more I learnt and read I realised I needed to keep a detailed diary of my physical and mental changes and reactions to everything. I wrote a back diary as best I could remember, to try and make it as comprehensive as possible. Looking back over what I had written it struck me the detail I had remembered. It was astounding. Some of the little details proved pivotal.

I learnt a vampires scent is addictive. I was addicted to vampire scent and it is more potent than any of the known drugs are. Only with a source near me did my body work as it should. Shape-changer scent helped reduce the cravings and the withdrawal symptoms but not enough to live a healthy life, I was too far gone for that.

After the Laurent incident I managed to start to get some things right for a while. I let Charlie back in and loved him as only a daughter can love their Dad. That opportunity will make me forever grateful for the time and attention I gave him, I will never have the chance to do again, with everything that was to follow.

Charlie and I spent all his time off fishing or down at La Push. I would happily read as Charlie sat and fished. I took more notice of all the sports Charlie spent his down time watching. We had much more in common to talk about, and talk we did. Charlie, the distant father, became Dad; not because he preferred me to call him that but because we made the bond.

I took up running and swimming. Activity helped combat some of the withdrawal symptoms but the pain still ate at me. I starting to eat properly again. It's so much easier to eat regularly when you are surrounded by wolfie dustbins that eat as many meals a day as they can get their hands on.

Spending so much time with Charlie, he got me down to the shooting range with him. He had me on every self-defence course that he came across, teaching me everything he knew as well. The wolves thought my attempts at self-defence hilarious since they were so strong and fast. They changed their tune when someone attempted to mug me when I went grocery shopping. He pulled a knife on me outside the store. The self-defence Dad taught me kicked in without even thinking. My bag had a long strap. I threw the bag, hanging onto the strap so it wrapped around his knife arm. A quick tug on the strap and a snap of my hand dislodged the knife. A well placed knee and fist had him on the floor. Dad turned up minutes later. Someone in the parking lot had phoned the police.

After that incident, I got to know all the imprints much better as we were all 'strongly encouraged' to take part in self-defence lessons.

I still kept working at Newtons but I also got a job in the café in La Push. The exercise has improved my clumsiness but carrying trays was still an accident waiting to happen for me. Once they realised I can cook and bake well, I got roped in. The future I hoped for had gone down the tubes. The new plan may have been more selfish but it was a much healthier choice. I was determined to go to university so my college fund become a priority again, every cent I could earn got added to the pot.

The wolves came to accept me as they began to understand how I was a victim and had been badly affected. I had to fight every day against the effects of vampires, the wolves can ease some of my symptoms but they couldn't cure me. They all wanted to help, even Leah warmed to me as we bonded over heart-ache. My pain and suffering reduced my patience, meek and mild was long gone. She chewed me out and I gave her plenty of verbal back again, it help us both heal and accept things we couldn't change. She made me realize the relationship I had with Edward had never been healthy and I had bent to his every whim, losing me in the process. I helped her see that Sam loved her still but not romantically due to the imprint. Leah made her peace with Emily after she allowed herself to see how well they worked together. Sam and Leah had a fiery relationship, Leah is so strong and independent, Emily provides quiet support that balances Sam rather than pushing him like Leah did. The whole pack breathed a sigh of relief as Leah let go of her anger. She still hurts but the healing had started.

Jake wouldn't learn and kept pushing me, claiming he loved me but knowing what happened to Sam, Emily and most of all to Leah, I turned him down flat. There was no way I would date anyone at the moment, never mind a wolf that could imprint at any time. Jake still kept trying to get me to date him but having the pack on my side made it so much easier.

Leah called me out on the scar on my arm. They had all noticed me rubbing or scratching my arm on a regular basis. I had never noticed I was doing it. I struggled to deal with the rest of the pain that I lived with, that was just annoying needles of pain shooting into my arm. I spent so much time trying to focus on living in the present I pushed all the pain to the side, it was something else on the list. The story of how I got the scar didn't go down well with the wolves but the fact the Cullen's saved me, counted for a lot.

My research pushed ever onwards. I out-read even the community college resources, they kept sending off for new material but I needed more specialist stuff. The internet gets you so far but I wanted more. I found I had to hide my level of understanding and my ability to read and retain the information otherwise names like genius get thrown around and I don't want or need the attention. I started looking at where I could go to get access to the information I needed.

Then my life got turned upside down again.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I looked at Jasper and took an unneeded breath to calm myself for his reaction.

One word, Victoria. She turned up and came after me. Laurent had said that she had sent him but the wolves had become complacent when there had been no immediate sign of her. The wolves stepped up the patrols and protected me around the clock but she kept trying to find the chinks in the amour. The wolves could never catch her, she always seemed to find the most unlikely of escapes. I guessed that was her ability.

I filled the Wolves in on everything I knew about the Cullen's and Vampires, who would of thought little old me would be considered an expert yet I felt I hardly even scratched the surface with my meagre knowledge.

It still hurt to talk about the family, the thought they may have never cared about me hurt but I loved all of them. I still love them all but Edward had fatally wounded the love I had for him. Leah's talks had helped me put it in perspective, letting go took longer.

Jasper's head shot up and he started to try and put me straight.

I nodded to let him know I understood, "I know that now Jasper, I'm just trying to let you understand where my head was then, let me continue," I held his eyes and he nodded.

After nearly a month of chasing me, Victoria got to her first chink in the armour. She killed Renee and Phil. She claimed to have kidnapped them and asked the Wolves to turn me over in return for them. They declined to tell me. They didn't trust me not to hand myself over, which, of course, I would have done. It turns out she hadn't kidnapped them just killed them outright, turning me over would have changed nothing but I carry so much guilt that they died because of me.

Jasper growled loudly but managed not to re-arrange even more forest when Victoria was mentioned but he was not happy to learn of Renee and Phil's deaths, that more humans had to pay for Edwards arrogance.

I was petrified for Charlie's safety, Sam held a meeting and they agreed Charlie could know. That's when we let Charlie in on all the secrets. Turns out he hadn't been as in the dark as everyone believed. He isn't Chief of Police for nothing. He watched and took notice of all the little things others dismiss. He listened to and remembered every scrap of rumour and every hint Billy had given him. Charlie took the truth as well, if not better, then I did. Turns out I take after him for far more than I realised. He claimed that in his job he needed to judge by actions not appearances or labels.

He plays his cards close to his chest and heard out the full stories from both Billy and I without a word. He left us all on pins as he went for a walk when we finished. He came back and thanked us for trusting him with the truth. I even got a brief hug. For then on he was fully involved with all details involving the supernatural. He still helps the wolves, training them in peace-keeping and strategy.

It was Charlie that came up with the idea.

He would not run away, would not give up his life and go into hiding even to save his own life from a vampire but he knew I would try and give myself up for him or the Wolves.

They decided to kill me off!

It's not as bad as it sounds, well not quite!

Yes I would have to leave the area but I intended going away to college anyway. I just wouldn't get to go as Bella Swan. I wouldn't be able to come back as Bella Swan once Victoria had gone but I could stay in contact, of a fashion. Much as I would miss them all, I jumped at the chance to try to secure their safety.

It had a slight feeling of deja-vu of my departure from Phoenix and for that matter my run to Phoenix. I was really going to miss everyone I was leaving behind but I stayed upbeat on the outside to try and ease the departure.

Charlie, it turns out, is pretty devious and very good at obtaining things when he sets his mind to it. My poor truck would be a casualty but it should be worth it. Charlie and Billy agreed the truck needed to die, even with my sentimentalism over the heap of rust, I went along with the plan.

I don't even want to know how they got a body. They took a pint of blood from me to seed the site of the crash and subsequent explosion that would burn out the truck, incinerating everything inside it.

I was on a plane to the other side of the country by the time the accident happened, well Annabel Charles was. That was my new name for the next few years.

Charlie had a whole new identity for me, I even gained a year on my age and a new birthday. All my reading meant I could get away with skipping forward in my education. How Charlie got the credits and transfers for someone that didn't even exist before, I had no idea at the time but I ended up at Harvard with a full scholarship. Chemistry and chemical biology is some different to the literature courses I considered doing when Edward was still around but it gave me access to the facilities I needed to find out what the vampire scent had done to me. The reading I had already done made even the second year courses a breeze. I added to my work load of classes within weeks.

I had changed my look, my hair went quite a few shades lighter and considerably shorter, coloured contacts made my eyes a dirty dark grey colour. Clothes and make up can change an appearance as I learned only too well from Alice. Just thinking her name was a jolt of pain, I loved her as a sister, did she really trick me so cruelly?

The Wolves kept up patrols around La Push and made sure Charlie always has mythical backup waiting in the wings but Victoria left them alone after my 'fatal accident'.

Charlie informed me that Alice turned up at the house to talk to him when my funeral announcement went out but all she did was confirmed my death then dashed off again before he had a chance to mention the problems we were having with Victoria.

Jasper understood why we decided to fake my death, he would have suggested the same thing in those circumstances.

I learnt of Edward's little reaction to the news that I had died. The idiot went to Volterra to have himself killed. Alice had just spoken to Charlie to confirm my death when she saw a vision of Edward in Volterra. She rushed to save him.

It seems she had seen the two of them leaving Volterra together so she 'knew' she needed to go and they would both leave safely.

Edward asked them to kill him. Aro demanded to see Edward memories. Aro decided Edward's gift was too useful to be destroyed on a whim. Both Edward and Alice got detained in Volterra for their actions towards a human and not following the law of death or turn. Their punishment was to remain in Volterra. They had a choice of in the dungeons or in the guard. Aro is a collector of talented vampires, he had been after Edward and Alice as soon as he heard of their gifts.

The Volturi have a guard by the name of Chelsea, she can influence the bonds between vampires.

Chelsea can't break strong mate or family bonds unless the vampire willing allows it. They chose to allow their bonds to be broken and joined the Volturi. Aro had Chelsea break their bonds from all the Cullen family and from me. She made new bonds to Aro. So that was why I stopped caring about them then, it explains a lot!

Alice's vision of the two of them leaving Volterra came true but she hadn't seen that by then they would be working for the Volturi. They were leaving together on one of many fact gathering missions that they are now used for.

Then I gasped as realisation hit, "But what about you and Alice?"

Jasper's head fell forward and he gently shook his head, no. "Our bond was strained before she even left, so much blame and anger towards me for attacking you and forcing Edward's hand to leave. I didn't even know she had gone to Italy but the loss of the bond came as a shock. I tried to stay with the family but the grief of losing three family members was too much for me. I roamed for a while until Peter found me," he smiled at Charlotte and Peter, "I have been with them ever since."

"Three?" I asked confused.

"You were considered family even if we believed you needed a break from the supernatural. We never stopped loving you," he told me with genuine feeling.

I would have shed tears if I still had the ability. I took a deep unneeded breath to regain control.

Jasper looked up asking with his eyes if I needed help with my emotions but I shook my head to decline.

I saw the thought come to him just before he spoke, "Victoria attacked Edward while he was on a mission for the Volturi, he was hurt but she escaped. Edward is fine but the Volturi don't take well to one of their own being attacked, she is on their hit list now. Aro informs Carlisle about Edward and Alice in yearly updates, in respect for lost coven members. Even with the severed bond Carlisle is still interested in them and their well being."

"I'd like to let the wolves and Charlie know. They will be relieved to know she has been out of the country and that they aren't the only ones on the lookout for her," I shook my head and sighed, "I worry where she is, I don't suppose she has given up."

Jasper hung his head, "I'm so sorry, Bella. I tried to tell them she was a threat but Edward claimed her thoughts didn't indicate a close tie, I was overruled again."

"Jasper," I said softly with compassion, "I don't blame you. It seems we were both underestimated and therefore distrusted."

"Let me finish my story," I told him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

With that I told the life story of Annabel Charles.

Within the first weeks of my life as Annabel Charles any residual positive feelings towards Edward died. They started to wither but they took months, no years, to completely release me. The resentment and pain due to the negative effects of vampires and the isolation in the new life I was forced to live, got put firmly on his shoulders. My, so called, best friend came a close second on my blame list. I still thought of the rest of the Cullen's as family but those two I disowned. I can't even say I hated them, I didn't care enough about them to summon even that much feeling for them. They were pruned from my heart, the scars still weep but that was just another pain to ignore.

At least I now know that it was their decision that broke our bonds, I allowed my side to wither but they made the cut.

Jasper sent me a wave of understanding, I looked directly at him. He spoke softly, "I let go too, I allowed the guilt to consume me, until today. Thank you, I hadn't allowed myself to believe that it wasn't me to blame, until now," he looked at Peter and Charlotte, "I should have listened, I'm sorry."

Peter shook his head, "You weren't ready, you carried so much anger and remorse over the events since Bella's birthday party. Hearing Bella's story has helped to closed many wounds for you. I can see a difference already," he stopped, tilted his head slightly then a soft smirk graced his face. Jasper was so introspective he didn't even notice.

I caught Peters eye and asked the question with a scrunch of my eyebrows, the smirk widened but he softly shook his head, "Why don't you continue Bella."

I let it slide this time and continued with my story. I had one goal, to find out what was wrong with me and find out how to put it right. I kept my head down and studied. I had few distractions as I didn't dare let anyone into my life for fear they would be used against me if Victoria caught up with me. I didn't let anyone get close to me for their own safety but it makes for a lonely existence.

I got a job as a lab technician for a pharmaceutical company, I even got paid extra for doing the graveyard shift.

Not knowing how computer literate Victoria was, reduced the lines of communication with Dad and the wolves but we stayed in contact. Charlie used every trick at his disposal to reduce the chance of anyone finding out I was still alive.

Sam sent me samples of vampire scents and samples of venom each time they came across another nomad. I had access to state of the art labs and I made the most of it. I didn't seem to need as much sleep any more so I worked all hours and always found convenient times to avoid prying eyes.

I learnt to be very secretive. I had acquaintances but they only know what I want them to about me. Victoria showed me how vulnerable the people around you are.

I still thought of myself as a plain Jane but I attracted the wrong sort of attention. My danger magnet still worked at full power!

Early in my time at uni I agreed to a group night out. The walk back to the apartment was my first near miss. Shaun was another puppy that chased and wouldn't take no for an answer. He tried to push further, much further. He was bigger, stronger and took me by surprise. I naïvely thought 'no' would stop him. Fortunately a group of drunk students walked past us, distracting him long enough for me to wriggle free from the pin he trapped me in. In his distraction he moved enough to allow me to move my leg, giving me the opportunity to use the self-defence I knew . My clothes were torn and I lost a shoe but I learnt a valuable lesson. I became even more distrusting. I needed more self-defence on how to defeat a stronger adversary. He wasn't the last to attempt to force me, I seemed to draw them to me. My graveyard shift had its disadvantages. I was better prepared that when a 'colleague' tried to force me into a secluded lab. Late nights at the library or returning from a late shift at work taught me there is plenty of scum in the world. Stilettos may be a great fashion accessory to some but I found their value as weapons, I wore them regularly after they saved me from a double attack. I got better at walking in them but I found carrying them in my hands makes for more efficient weapons.

The growls at the thought of men attacking me got a bit loud so I hushed them and told them about the other danger magnet moments I'd survived, the car mounting the kerb when the driver was too busy sending a text on his mobile, the idiot accelerating and swerving to hit me on the crossing, falling up, yes, I fell up stairs and broke my leg! I fell down flights of stairs, the book shelf at the library felling on me, a bottle of acid some idiot had left on the sink falling over on me, the list went on. At least their anger changed to shock and amusement at my stories.

I explained how I upped the skills Charlie insisted I need. I learnt to fight, self defence, firearms, how to be strong and independent. Shoulders to lean on were no longer a luxury I had in day to day life. The only person I could rely on to protect and support me was myself.

I researched pain management techniques. The pain I was in was debilitating if I allowed it but each new technique help me deal and accept. When I was alone and not busy it was the hardest. I could hide in my head blocking out all the senses or I could block my emotions become the zombie again, neither method allowed me to live even the closed off life I had. The torch method of directing my attention on to anything apart from the pain was the most effective method but unlike the legend of the boy putting his finger in the dike to stop a flood, my method didn't hold back the torrent, just deflected it for short periods.

I explained the more I learned to fight the more I realised human methods are of limited use against vampires. I may have become stronger than humans but the fully supernatural are stronger again. Every martial art, fighting style or weapon that can give the upper hand to the weaker opponent I have sought out and mastered.

The wolves were training and Jake accidentally knock one of Paul's teeth out. They were amazed to see a new tooth fill the hole. Sam sent me the tooth along with the next set of vampire scents. The tooth is strong enough to pierce vampire hide so I carry a lighter and a shape-changer tooth as basic self-defence against nomads, fortunately that scenario never came to pass!

Charlie and I manage to stay close even with the distance. I kept him in the loop with most things but there was no point upsetting him with knowledge of things he could not change. I never mentioned the extent of the pain I lived in.

I was devastated that I was not able to attend his wedding when he married Sue but since only Charlie, Billy and Sam know I am alive. It just wasn't worth the risk since we believed Victoria was still out there somewhere. I get Leah and Seth as family now, even if they don't know I'm still alive.

I had already fast tracked my degree, taking on a much higher work load and working through any holidays. What's the point of holidays when you are supposed to be dead? The loneliness hits hardest when I didn't keep busy on the holidays. I know I'm loved and my absence is for their safety, but the empty loneliness on the days everyone else is with family hits hard. I stayed busy for my sanity. I never really celebrated much before but I actively avoided even acknowledging any holiday.

My research into scents and pheromones had an unexpected bonus that financially set me up for life and then some! I have my own perfume lines. I found what makes the vampire scents addictive. I can replicate vampire scents without the addictive nature but it still has an alluring draw that means as a perfume, it sells like hot cakes!

It started out with a couple of colleagues at work that sniffing their way over asking what the gorgeous smell was. They were raving about one of the scents I was working on when a head honcho, one of the MD's, came into the laboratory. I had permission to work on my 'uni project' but I was still nervous about being caught. If anyone found out my true study it could end up life threatening for them. It turns out 'it's not what you know, it's who you know' is still very powerful. His wife loved the scent and she 'knew' the 'right' people! The rest, as they say, is history! It added considerably to my work load but it wasn't as if I had anything else to do. My business acumen went from 0 to 60 in short order. My lack of trust proved invaluable, plenty of people are out for themselves and don't care who they step on to get their share and yours as well, if you let them.

I changed enough components of the scent that vampires won't know its original form. Edward may only have mentioned the Volturi, the vampire royalty and law keepers but I sure didn't want any more vampires getting wind of me.

I gave over colouring my hair and let it grow after the first year, the colouring wreaked havoc with the ends! A wig did the job. The excessive make up I replaced, when finances allowed, with a latex mask. Technology developed for the film industry is coming on leaps and bounds for make up and masks. I can change my appearance faster and more effectively with them. I wore a perfume, not the retail variety but a concoction I had worked on to neutralise my scent, with a touch of wolf in there to discourage any vampires that may want to take a bite!

I used my knowledge of scents to create a vampire version of pepper spray just to throw them off balance long enough to give me a fighting chance.

"Sorry Charlotte," I threw in, she just laughed and flicked her gaze to Peter, I nodded to confirm he would be getting a whiff sooner rather than later!

Over the years I found out more about the side effects of long term vampire exposure. A bite from a vampire leaves a scar. The cold sparkling scar proves trace amounts of venom remain in the system. A trace amount isn't enough to cause a normal change but the venom is like a virus that spreads and infects as it goes. The reason humans don't live with a scar from a vampire is the slow building burning pain sends them mad long before it can replicate enough to transform the body. Long term scent exposure is addictive to keep the prey returning, it also stops small amounts of venom from spreading to keep the victim alive to ensure continued long term feeding. If the prey is left by the vampire, the small quantity of venom is no long suppressed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The effects of the vampire exposure were having more and more physical attributes. I have two venoms in me, some from James's bite and some from Edward's bite to try to remove James's venom. I was a long time realising it was transforming me slowly and, oh, so painfully.

Sufficient scent neutralised the withdrawal symptoms but only held the venom, it didn't reduce or undo the existing damage. As the venom increases it gets harder to pause it. The pain of the change was ever present even if it wasn't progressing, scent helps manage the pain but I didn't have enough of the right scent to mute it completely. As I looked back at the diaries I kept, the gradual changes and 'improvements' become more apparent. I was becoming more durable, stronger and faster, my brain worked more efficiently. The brain efficiency was a blessing for the research but a curse were the pain was concerned.

I wouldn't have survived vampire exposure if the wolves hadn't been there. Sam finding me saved my life in more ways than the harm just exposure to the elements would have done. The withdrawal symptoms without the numbing effect of wolves would have finished me within weeks. Charlie spending so much time with Billy, remnants of Edward's scent remaining in my room all kept me alive long enough to find an alternate ways to get my fix. I'm not sure if it would have been kinder if it had finished me than living through the pain but I survived and I'll fight tooth and nail to keep having another tomorrow.

I knew why the rule exists; if humans know about Vampires they must die or be turned, it isn't a rule its a fact. Get too close to vampires and you either die or turn, the law just tries to make sure it doesn't get too drawn out.

I know that if there is enough venom in your blood supply you go through the painful change into a vampire. What I didn't learn until too late is even a small amount of venom has the same effect but over a much longer time frame, years longer.

Venom welled up in the eyes of all my audience as they learnt of the torture I endure for so long.

Jasper described the pain to Peter and Charlotte, "It was similar to the burn of the change but more in line to the third or fourth administration of venom into prisoners. I could walk in a room where the newborns were still changing, even four or five changing at the same time. The pain Bella was in bought me to my knees."

"That's why I attacked you this time, the Major never agreed with the torture that Maria revelled in. He forced the venom in to stop the torture," Jasper explained.

"The Major? Why talk about yourself that way?" I asked in confusion.

Peter responded with a small smirk, "The Major is the vampire side of Jasper, I believe it is also the soldier side of him. The Major comes out in times of stress."

"Ahh, so you are Major Jasper Whitlock, I thought you might be," I remembered the history books, all the pieces fitting together.

Jasper looked amazed but Peter just smirked.

I explained, "I told you I read everything I could get my hands on! I think it was a book in your library that held the information on you"

Peter laughed and Jasper shook his head with a soft smile as he started to explain his history, youngest Major, Maria his sire and war master, Peter and Charlotte's creation then their escape, his escape and wanderings to the meeting of Alice.

Peter and Charlotte threw in bones about themselves but kept it brief, saving the rest for another day.

Jasper watched me closely as he recounted his past. He had the same expression Edward had when he told me anything about the vampire nature, waiting for me to see the monster and run away screaming.

"You are amazing, all three of you. You did what you needed to survive, not knowing another way existed. To walk away and find a new life, I'm in awe of you all. Jasper, I can't even get my head around how you coped with all those dark emotions. How anyone could think of you as a weak link confounds me. You changed your way of life so radically, of course it takes a while to get used to. You are the strongest person I have ever met," I wasn't going to give him a chance to go into 'I'm a monster, fear me' mode!

Jasper stood and opened his shirt, "You can't look at these and tell me I'm not a monster," waving his hand at the scars that litter his body.

Damn, he went there anyway. Scars criss crossed his sculptured chest. I took in his scars but had to drag my eyes from his body. I tried to repress the emotions that surged through me as I looked at his bare chest. I think he was expecting fear and repulsion not the awe and lust, good job I don't blush any more!

I looked directly at his face, hoping he would met my eyes as I spoke, "I look at those and I see a survivor. Each one is a badge of honour, a reminder of how much you overcame, how you survived. I see those and I see your strength, your tenacity. There are many monsters in this world, their actions define them not their species or background or anything else. You fought for your beliefs to earn the rank of Major. A monster turned you and used you for their own gain, not allowing you to know of an alternative way of life. You did what you had to do to survive, that doesn't make you a monster. That you could walk away, even change your diet, makes you the opposite of a monster. I see a strong honourable man that I trust with my life. I am proud to know you, I count myself lucky to have met you."

"But.." he protested.

"No," I didn't give him chance. Peter and Charlotte both beamed at me.

Night had fallen even talking at vampire speed, that was a lot of stories for one sitting.

Peter did an eyebrow dance at Charlotte and with her answering smile he grinned, "We will be turning in for the night, see you in the morning."

Jasper groaned.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realise how they intended spending the night and I don't suppose it's very comfortable as a single empath dealing with the resulting emotions.

"Jasper, do you want to take a run over to my house and watch a movie," I asked in sympathy.

The speed he shot up out of the chair and towards the door made me laugh, "I take it that's a yes?"

He looked abashed for an instant before a relived smile hit his face, "Please."

"Come on, keep up if you can!" I teased as I set off as fast as I could run.

He couldn't keep up, never mind catch up with me.

I waited for him on the front porch.

"Damn, you're fast. Even taking into account you are newborn," he told me as he arrived.

I gave him the tour and we struck up an easy conversation.

"Before we start watching a film I'll update Charlie and the wolves. Are you in contact with Carlisle?" I asked Jasper.

"I stay in contact with them," he confirmed

I explained my reasoning, "I'm sure he will want to know my findings and the neutraliser I developed during my research."

Jasper looked direct in my eyes, "He will be interested in all your work but they will all be far more excited that you are here. Will you be okay with visitors as I doubt we can keep them away when they find out?"

Fear, worry, rejection and a plethora of other similar emotions hit.

"You'll be fine, they love you and have missed you immensely," he soothed.

I contacted Dad first. I followed all the protocols.

It would be a while until they got the message but I included all the updates in my life.

Jasper waited at a discrete distance to give me privacy, I told him it was unnecessary but I appreciated the sentiment.

When I finished I approached Jasper. He pulled his phone out, "Are you ready? I'll put it on speaker. I'll speak first but feel free to jump in if you want."

I nodded. Jasper dialled.

It rang twice.

"Hello Jasper, It's good to hear from you. How are you?" Carlisle's voice came through.

With recognition came a hit of rejection, even knowing the story they were told when they left, it still hurt. Jasper sent me calm, hope and love.

"Hello Carlisle, I'm fine now but it's been an emotional day," he replied

"Are Peter and Charlotte all right? Do you need any help?" came the worried response.

"Yes to the first and no to the second. I wanted to speak to everyone if you can round them up. This is something you will all want to know," Jasper answered cryptically.

I could hear Carlisle calling Esme, Rosalie and Emmett, a couple of seconds later I heard the booming voice of Emmett asking, "What's up?"

Carlisle replied, "Jasper is on the phone, he wants to speak to us all."

A click on the line indicated he changed the phone so they could all hear and be heard.

"Hey Bro, what's the news?" an excited Emmett asked.

"Peter and Charlotte went to meet the neighbours and you'll never believe who it is..." Jasper teased them.

"Jasper, just spit it out," Emmett fell straight into the trap.

"Don't you even want to guess who she is?" Jasper taunted.

"You old dog, you found yourself some, it's about time..." Emmett's mind straight in the gutter as always. The clap of thunder must have been Rosalie putting him in line with a slap to the back of the head.

"Emmett, it's not like that but you will be jealous..." Jasper was grinning now.

Esme chimed in, "Enough now boys. Jasper please tell us."

I could see Jasper's eyebrows showing his disappointment at not being able to tease Emmett any further, silence.

"It's Bella," he said softly.

Silence, not a word was spoken at the other end. Jasper looked at me pleadingly and I nodded then spoke, "Hello, everyone. Did you miss me?"

"Jazz, is it really...it can't be... but how..." voices overlapped, then a teary voice asked softly, "Bella, is that really you?"

"Yes, Esme. It's me," I replied as relief and love for my surrogate family suffused my body. I looked at Jasper hoping he could take over.

Belly, is it really you?" an emotional Emmett asked.

Jasper took over for me, "Yes, it's really her. I'll ring you back in half an hour and update you but suffice to say Edward and Alice didn't tell us the truth about leaving her and how it badly it affected her. You will need to be in an area with plenty of trees when you hear her story, it's not a happy story."

I heard Esme breath out, "My poor daughter, what did we do?"

Carlisle closed the conversation, "We will talk later, Thank you Jasper. Bella, we love you and we missed you, I hope we can catch up soon. Goodbye."

Both Jasper and I said, "Goodbye," then Jasper hung up.

Jasper looked at me, "You are amazing, how are you holding up with all this. So calm but only hours old. Truly amazing."

I gave a half hearted laugh, "I don't feel amazing, I feel like I have been through a wringer."

"Do you want to be here for the catch-up?" he asked.

I thought about going through it all again and shook my head, "Once in a day is more than enough for me. I think I'll go for a nice long shower and find some clothes that fit rather than this disguise clothing."

Jasper looked bemused at that but agreed.

"I'll can come back down and field some questions when you've told them if you that will help," I offered.

He shook his head, "I think they will need a bit of time to come to terms with your story first, it's a doozy."

I laughed and raised an eyebrow, "A 'doozy' of a story?"

He just laughed at me and nodded.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I turned my music on loud so I wasn't tempted to eavesdrop on Jasper's conversation. I shrugged out of the bulky clothing and stepped into the shower. I stood in the shower, letting the hot water massage my new stone hard skin. The heat gradually permeated to my very core. I let the events of the day sink in. After so many years of pain and loneliness I couldn't believe how much could change in so few hours. All my senses were amped up with my change. I spent so long teaching myself to direct my attention away from the pain onto what I wanted, this is no different. It's easier to ignore all the new stimuli and roller-coaster emotions than it was to ignore the pain. I spent ages in the shower until I started to feel guilty about all the water going down the drain, maybe a bath would have been better!

It seems such a simple thing but just pulling on an ordinary a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, is such a luxury. No masks, no make-up, just the freedom of being me, in the presence of others. Such little things but they mean the world to me!

Jasper had finished on the phone by the time I made my way back down stairs.

I had to laugh at Jasper as he did a double take when he saw me in unpadded clothes that actually fit, "See something you like?"

"Wow, now I understand what you meant by disguise clothing. You really went all out changing your appearance," he replied then, "Wow," whispered under his breath, I don't suppose I was supposed to hear that one.

It definitely improved my self-confidence and I will swear that if vampires could blush, Jasper would be bright red at the moment!

"How did they take my story?" I asked.

The slight strain in the atmosphere broke with the question and we were back at ease.

"As well as can be expected. All of them have some significant tree planting to do in the near future. It's a good thing Edward and Alice are in a different country is all I can say," came the diplomatic response.

"They have flights booked and will be here tomorrow afternoon. Will you be okay?" he asked nervously.

"It will be nice to see them all, I held a grudge for a long time but I let go of it over the years and now knowing they were lied to as well. I'm looking forward to seeing my family," I looked at Jasper, "I missed you all."

"We missed you. Now we got you back and we won't let go again," he hugged me.

It felt so good to have contact, Dad was the last person to give me a hug unless you count when Jasper pushed his venom into me. You can't believe how much I have missed such simple contact.

I don't know how long we stood but Jasper broke the hug, "How about that film?"

We had watched two films when Jasper turned to me, "So who came up with the name?"

I had zoned, thinking about everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours, "Name?"

He grinned, "Your current alias, Belinda Carlie Wolfe?"

I groaned, "Dad came up with it. He didn't even tell me first, he just sent me the paperwork through. He is spending far too much time with Sam and Billy. It's their warped sense of humour knowing the high probability of me transforming into a vampire while using this name. The pack will have a field day if they ever find out. He gives me a first name that Bella can be a nickname for, he likes to get his influence in there too, Charles or Carlie in this case, then he was just being a pain. Who did the research on the property?"

"That would be me actually, I like to know as much as possible about an area before we move in. Who ever did the background for you did a thorough job, I'm impressed," Jasper admitted.

"Apart from the name, I did a lot of work for this one. Dad is trying to train me up," I admitted.

Jasper nodded, "Learning your Dad's sources is a good idea. I took over acquiring documentation for the family. It changes over the years so it's always worth keeping up with new leads. I would be happy to work together with you on that, if you want?"

I laughed at him, "One thing I have learnt is to accept help if you can get any but make sure you can do it yourself if they let you down. So yes please to any help but I would appreciate learning on the job!"

"Good philosophy!" he smiled at me, "I like your attitude."

I looked out at the dawn sky, "One more film then hit the road?"

"My choice this time!" he called back as he went to choose the next film.

We walked back to Peter and Charlotte's. I commented on Jasper's eye colour. It was golden even while living with two human drinkers.

"It was the emotions of the victims that had me in such a depression before changing to this life style. The slips I've had caused me more guilt from their emotions rather than the guilt when I felt the disappointment from the family. It's easier with Peter and Charlotte as their blood lust is better sated with their choice of diet. We don't spend hour after hour cooped up with our natural food source having teenage emotions bombarding me constantly. This way of life suits me better, well apart from the fact they are just as insatiable, if not more so, than Emmett and Rosalie. Their emotions get a bit uncomfortable at night for a single guy," he admitted, "Feeling strong emotions can be draining but even after yesterdays cluster fest of emotion and spending time with a newborn that should be blood crazed and emotionally unstable, my hunger and emotions feel more controlled now than I have ever experienced. I don't understand how you are so calm and controlled. I have no idea why I feel so at peace but I'm sure not complaining!"

We walked in silence the rest of the way, each in our own thoughts.

Peter and Charlotte were waiting on the front for us when we got back.

Peter had a glint in his eye. I knew he had something planned.

"So," he drawled out, "we are having guests. Bella, how would you like to get one over on Emmett?"

I turned to Jasper, "The seer has seen something from the sound of things, I guess the best bet is let him have his fun playing know it all?"

"I'm no seer," Peter spat out, "If you don't want to know, be like that."

The three of us bust into laughter at him.

"Poor little Petey, can't I tease you even a little bit," I waggled my eyebrows at him and he dived at me.

All the self-defence came into it's own. At last an opponent I could really let loose on. We had a really enjoyable wrestle. He got very close a few times to potentially doing some harm but I'd try another trick from a different discipline an avoid it. Jasper growled a few times at the start but after a whispered conversation with Charlotte he got into it. The pair of them shouting advice and tips to me as the fight progressed.

Jasper eventually decided enough was enough and ordered us both to stop. We broke apart but I made the mistake of turning my back to Peter to walk over to Jasper, well so Peter thought! He tried to tackle me from behind but with my natural trusting nature and a similar incident happening once in a self-defence class. I turned the tables on him, flipping him over my shoulder and pinning him to the floor.

Jasper tried to sound stern, telling us off for continuing to fight after the stop order but he was laughing too hard.

Charlotte was the first to restrain the giggles long enough to mock Peter for getting pinned by a newborn, only to succumb to the giggles again.

I went to clean up. When I came back the giggles had virtually died out but Peter was still sulking.

"Poor little Petey, didn't you see the reason for you telling the rest of the Cullen's the only way I could beat Emmett was you trained me to fight," I stopped dead and replayed my words back.

"What the hell?" I put my hand over my mouth, "I had a flash of Peter stood outside this house with Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie, Jaser and Charlotte stood to the side. I had just beaten Emmett in a wrestling match and Peter was bragging that he had trained me to fight, on the back of this bout. That's how you know stuff Peter, you just know or see a short clip, not how to get there, just an image that will come to pass, but how did I see that?"

The mood had gone sombre. Jasper and Charlotte were looking at me as if I had two heads.

Peter spoke, "I was a military analyst in life, not that they called it that then. I would collect and correlate information from many sources then try and second guess the enemy, I was good at my job. Since gifts as a vampire are usually related to abilities that carry over, it sounds like your quest for knowledge as a human carried over as a vampire, you just know shit similar to me! Seer indeed, you will take that back! It seems like you also got a escape at last minute gift too, similar to Charlotte, sorry Char but I think Bella's version is more powerful than yours, especially to start showing so soon but she's a freaky newborn. I should have overpowered you quite a few times but you dodged the bullet each time just like you did in life.

"Just because you couldn't beat me doesn't mean it's a gift. I used self-defence moves from different disciplines. I learnt to fight as a human, a small weak female at that. I had to get good for my own safety," I argued back.

He tilted his head looking at me, "It's more than that and I think there is even more in there but I can't put my finger on what yet."

Then he grinned, "You really are a Whitlock in more ways than one. Jasper is your sire, even if you were messed up first, you have some kick ass fighting skills and some freaky gifts to get you out of the shit you keep landing in."

I scowled at him, not entirely sure if he was complimenting me or insulting me but there was no way he was getting the upper hand.

Jasper broke the tension by suggesting Peter go clean up before the guests arrived.

"I'm sorry Bella but Peter is right, you really are a freaky newborn but in the best possible of ways," he threw in as my annoyance started to rise, "Your control and lack of blood lust are a bit unnerving for someone that has dealt with thousands of newborns. I wouldn't change you for the world. Just be prepared for a bit of shock when the rest of the family arrive. Carlisle will revert to doctor mode, just so you are warned."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I heard the vehicle coming from miles off. My nerves started to grate. Jasper asked if I wanted any help, I accepted this time.

Peter and Charlotte came out to join us before they arrived.

Charlotte put her hand on my arm, "How you holding up?"

"Butterflies about the reunion but Jasper keeps throwing me a confidence boost when I need it," I turned to face Jasper standing on my other side and offered a smile in thanks.

Peter stepped beside Charlotte as their Jeep came into sight up the drive.

The four of them climbed out and for a tense moment there was silence. Peter and Jasper both took a step forward in front of Char and I. Emmett broke the tension as he squealed, yes squealed, like a little girl, "Belly, it's my little Bella."

Then he ran, I pretty sure his intent was to hug me but my vampire impulses took over so I avoided him, while Peter and Jasper took him down like a threat.

In an instant, I pulled my head out of my vampire ass and set about straightening things out.

"Jasper, Peter. Let him up he was only trying to give me one of his bone squishing hugs. Let my big brother up NOW!" Okay, so the 'now' might have been a bit on the firm side but it got the message across.

I helped Emmett up a bit too enthusiastically and nearly removed his arm and the hug turned tables, with Emmett complaining he couldn't breath, not that he needs to but it's the thought that counts. We got there, of a fashion.

It took a few minutes of Emmett getting lectured about how to approach a newborn with more care, then Peter and Jasper got a tongue lashing for getting too territorial since it is family but we got to the greetings eventually!

Esme was the next in line for a hug. She just burst into sobs saying sorry and asking for my forgiveness. I got her calmed down, 'no sorry necessary, it wasn't your fault' and 'you are forgiven' were repeated many times before they started sinking in. Poor Jasper had his work cut out as she moved on to him and started afresh with the sobs and I missed you.

Carlisle was more restrained but the same emotions were there, he just hid them better. I could feel him shaking as he tried to repress the emotions.

Rosalie surprised me with a hug and her apologies for the way she treated me and what happened to me. Wow! The ice queen had melted or at least thawed a bit!

Stage one over, now for question time!

We went in and sat, human routines to help everyone to remember to act like them!

The questions started, going over my story, did he really, did you really, was it really you that...insert a nice long eye roll here.

Yes Jasper really did repeat accurately the story of what I lived through, yes it hurt like hell.

Jasper proceeded to show them the pain I was in when he came in the door only yesterday. It was a bitter sweet moment, all those years of feeling abandoned, yet I now knew they reluctantly left me believing it was in my best interest.

The pain bought them all to their knees. Shock and horror contorted their faces as they realised the reality they left me in. Jasper told me off for feeling guilty that they had to experience the pain I suffered. Another round of 'sorry', regrets and hugs followed.

Jasper was on the money with Carlisle, I could see the Dr Cullen rearing his head from the father figure that greeted me. The sense of humour can't help a dig and put some nice Jaws dun dun, dun dun theme music in the background. I blame too many years isolating myself even in a crowd!

Dr Cullen was now on a roll.

He started with clinical questions about the pain and how human I was when I experienced the pain. I tried to downplay it. Jasper, Peter and Charlotte all angrily defend me. Peter and Charlotte re-told meeting me but having no clue that I was in any pain. Their shock and worry for Jasper as he came in the house, they had no idea he was suffering from my pain.

I changed the conversation to less emotive subjects. I ran over my theories of how vampires effect humans and how I came to my conclusions. I told them how I managed the pain.

Vampires really are the ultimate predator. All the physical aspects draw you in. The fear response, in most humans, is triggered for the same reason they instinctively fear spiders or snakes. Close exposure to the scent overwhelms that instinct.

The scent is addictive to keep their favourite snack needing to come back to vampires with the control to take just a sip. The bite injects the venom but a vampire in control can extract most of the venom as they feed leaving only trace amounts. The longer the venom is in the system the more remains in scar tissue and converted tissue. A bite initially causes the subject to be numbed by the venom. If sufficient is allowed to spread it paralyses the victim with burning pain. It helps newborns feed when they are drooling and unable to control their victims properly. The venom replicates to cause the change if left to spread.

A vampires scent draws the victim back and pauses the small quantity of venom in the scars from replicating unless the vampire gets bored and moves on, then change comes slowly and is usually fatal. The addiction to the scent is that strong it makes heroin look as addictive as Brussels sprouts. Withdrawal symptoms from the scent is more lethal than the slow spread of the venom. The scent of wolves muted the withdrawal symptoms of vampire scent but it doesn't get rid of the venom or effect its spread.

I didn't have enough exposure to vampire scent in those first few months after they left so the venom was able to duplicate and spread. As the venom spreads the pain increases. Since I didn't realise the venom was also a factor, until the last year, I used the vampire scent to help manage the pain. I was unaware I was prolonging the pain. The slow nature of the change may have given my body time to acclimatise to the updates from the venom.

The low levels of vampire scent in the subsequent months and years kept the spread rate to a low level but even the return of a vampire would not have been enough to stop the spread at that point. The scent of the wolves kept the withdrawal from the vampire scent down to painful rather than lethal.

So I changed, slowly but surely. I either changed or died, any other option was too late for me.

Vampires don't share well, so having two venoms in your system intensifies its effect. One vampire can repeatedly bite a victim with the venom remaining in the skin but a second venom reacts with the first making them more invasive. I believed the venom and the scent have a linked effect; the victim feels a greater draw to the vampire scent from the vampire venom in their system. The tests I did on blood samples show the venom and the scent are linked, in that, the venom is best neutralised by the scent of the vampire that produced it.

The more research I have done the more amazing it is that I'm still alive. Some research on pain thresholds imply I should have gone insane with pain or my body fail due to the changes and the severe pain.

I have not been able to test or confirm any of my theories. Since my theories are based on a sample of one I'm not sure how much impact different variables had on the outcome.

The pack caught a vampire that had escaped from the southern wars, a vampire war for territory in the southern states. According to him a well known torture method is infecting a human with venom only to suck it out then repeat the process. If blood loss didn't kill them then insanity took them as the change progressed, death was guaranteed. Newborns are bad enough, insane newborns were quickly eliminated.

Jasper confirmed this about venom but said he had never heard anything about vampire scent. He reiterated how strongly he had been against Edward removing James venom. I placed my hand on Jasper's shoulder to try to calm him. I could see this line of conversation would quickly degenerate so I took over and continued with a medical run-down of my symptoms.

I told them how the benefits of the venom were the loss of clumsiness, increased strength and dexterity, the increased brain function – all my senses increased along with my memory and comprehension, I don't need as much sleep – I got away with less and less.

The downside was the intense, relentless burning pain, craving ever rarer steaks and the increased sense of smell. The increased senses I may also have put as a benefit but have you ever had to sit in a room of students... there is always one in serious need of a wash and introduction to deodorant.

The changes become more pronounced as I continued my education in my quest for answers. Annabel Charles had to disappear for good. It was no longer safe for her to be around humans, they were starting to smell good enough to eat.

Charlie, Billy and Sam knew the change was nearing completion, they couldn't do anything for me but it doesn't stop them worrying. I kept them up to date with all the breakthroughs but I kept them in the dark about how much pain I lived with. A three day burn would be an absolute breeze compared to what I lived with.

The pain was part of my life all those years. It grew as the changes escalated. The pain and anger severely decreased my patience and compassion for others. I fought ever day trying to pretend I'm fine and normal but behind closed doors it wasn't as easy to pretend. The people that got to know Annabel Charles knew she took no prisoners, she had little patience for incompetence and I got done what needed to be done. I became ruthless in research and business, to be honest in every aspect of that life. I could plan and strategize, finding solutions before others had even recognised a problem. In training myself to fight, I went beyond, not knowing when or how to stop, not wanting to. Finding sparing partners became all but impossible, I was too strong and fast for humans, holding back made a sparing session stressful. I had used the sessions to help release some of the anger and frustration. Losing that outlet came as a huge blow.

Bella Swan really did die, even before the staged accident, she died that day he left me broken in the forest, for all intents and purposes.

I burned for years, the phoenix inside me scorching out the innocent child that was tossed aside so long ago.

All three women were dry sobbing for me.

The men looked torn.

Jasper was the worst, "Guilt and anger," he bit out.

"The only thing you have to feel guilty for is trusting implicitly those that have steered you to safety in the past. You left believing it was in my best interest. No-one knew the effects of the scent and the venom," I started.

"No," growled Jasper, " I knew of the torture caused by removing venom."

"But when you left me I wasn't suffering, you had no way of knowing it would change," I tried.

"It was my fault we had to leave," guilt poured from his words.

"No, Edward was looking for a reason. Those events were the trigger. No-one can blame you for how intrusive your power is. You felt everyone's blood lust just like you are dealing with everyone's guilt and anger now. It was not your fault," I said softly.

"But Jasper was right when he told us we should check on you. He was right when he told us Victoria would be a threat. We should have listened to him. You paid for our mistakes," Carlisle spoke with emotion, guilt and regret, dripping from his words.

I looked directly at Carlisle, "Yes, but you need to think why you didn't listen, then talk to Jasper about that," Carlisle looked at me then nodded.

I took a deep breath but it just doesn't have the same effect any more. I told them of a couple of old sayings that resounded with me, "I learnt two important things over the years, 'That which does not _kill_ us makes us _stronger' and 'You can't change the past but you can learn from it.' I still have some questions I would like answered but now I'm no longer alone and in the pain it's all easier to deal with. Do I wish things had been done differently, yes, but I don't blame anyone for what happened. I just want to move forward."_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 1****1**

In an effort to move forward I asked if Carlisle wanted to know anything about my research, he dived in with questions.

The first few questions were of interest to all but he kept going until even the most hardy listener without medical knowledge was getting bored. Emmett found the games systems ages ago.

I asked Jasper to get my laptop out of my truck. Rose perked up when she found out it was mine, asking all the specs. and if she could have a drive. Fortunately Jasper saved me with a rapid return with the laptop. Five minutes spent getting past my security systems and I left Dr Cullen, mmm, is it a requirement for vampires to have duel personalities... back to the point... I left Dr Cullen with all my research and findings on vampire scent and venom. Even at vampire speed he will be reading for most of a day!

Peter took his chance, "Emmett, I bet you can't beat Bella in a wrestling match."

And so the stage was set for the freaky knowledge of what was to come.

Emmett can't seem to turn down a bet if his life depends on it. Add his 'awesome strength' as a feature in his favour and you have guaranteed his participation.

We went out the back in an effort to keep the house and the cars out of the fray.

Emmett's fighting style is completely different to Peter's. Peter is sneaky and tries to catch you off guard, he doesn't use the obvious attack. Emmett is best described as a bull in a china shop, he just puts his head down and charges. It was almost too easy, but I dare not upset Emmett any further by telling him that.

Emmett was now sulking after I pinned him eight times in a row and he never got close.

Peter threw in his line as expected, "The only reason she can beat Emmett is I trained her to fight!"

Charlotte and Jasper ended up in another giggle attack remebering the outcome of the fight between Peter and I. It took a while for Emmett to calm them enough to find out the reason for the giggles. Getting a relaxed empath out of the giggles when there is someone else there to feed them more emotion is a nightmare. You get one of them to stop, one starts snickering again and they both break down yet again.

Emmett stood cursing at Charlotte trying to find out what was so funny. She managed to explain some before Peter felt sorry for her and grudgingly filled Emmett in on the rest of the story. Emmett's bad mood evaporated immediately. Peter stormed off as Emmett started with the giggles and I gave the three of them up as a lost cause.

I spent a few hours catching up with Esme, it was so nice having someone to talk to where I don't have to withhold. I see her far less as a mother figure more of a friend, I suppose I've caught up in years so it's more understandable. After the debate earlier with Carlisle he feels more like a work colleague or in this case a student – ouch!

Emmett likes to claim big brother status but I was older when I finally turned so I'll have to give him some stick as a kid brother instead! Apart from our wrestling match I haven't spent much time with him yet. I hope I can reaffirm our bond.

Rose hated me, or at least my choices, before. I still saw her as family; the aloof big sister that pretends you didn't exist. She can only go up in my opinion from there.

Peter and Charlotte feel like family already but even closer than I ever was with any of the Cullen's. I feel comfortable with them, even more at ease than I ever did with the Cullen's. I'm not sure if it has more to do with my feelings of inadequacy before, lingering feelings due to my history with the Cullen's or Peter and Charlotte just they get who I am now. I think the Cullen's still expect me to be the insecure teenager I used to be, vampires may not change often but humans can and do, I went through more than most, it leaves a mark.

Now Jasper, I never really knew him before so I don't lump him in with the Cullen's. 'They' always kept us apart as he was too dangerous. Phoenix was the only place we spent any time in close proximity. I saw him more of a mysterious protector rather than family. During the day that he has been back in my life I feel relaxed and comfortable with him and we can talk so definitely a friend but brother doesn't fit the bill, I'll have to see.

Night was falling again and this time there are three couples in the house. As they started turning in Jasper gave me a look of horror, "Can we get out of here, quickly, PLEASE!"

I needed no more asking. This time I ran with him, curbing my speed to run together.

We got back to my place.

I checked and Charlie had replied. He had a list of worries and concerns. His worst fear had come to pass but I seem to be dealing with it better than anyone could have dreamt. The Cullen's coming back in my life had thrown him but I sent him reassurance the trouble makers weren't here and the rest had been lied too, much as I had been. Sam wanted regular updates but overall he was relieved. I wasn't alone and had support of yellow eyes, so I would get my diet right. I had been worried about the treaty with Jasper biting me but Sam assured me, that in these circumstances, they would get a free pass. I think they all felt absolved of responsibility for me since I was with 'my kind' now, ones they grudgingly respected.

Jasper and I spent the night discussing books. I got a chess board out and we played while we talked. Since I had read his entire library in Forks we had plenty of common ground! I apologised for intruding in his space but he told me I was welcome any time.

The morning sun alerted us to the fact we had talked the entire night away without even realising. I felt a pang of disappointment that our time was up.

My throat felt like I was starting with a cold, you know that itch that isn't really irritating yet but the fact you can't scratch it makes it play more on your mind. I decided I needed to hunt.

A very formal Jasper requested to accompany me. Trying very hard not to laugh I did my best southern belle impersonation to accept!

I targeted Bambi this time, the smallest male in the herd. I felt pleasantly full this time. Much better.

Jasper took two down, how he can stomach that much blood in one sitting, eww, it turns my stomach.

The conversation on the way back was shock about the quantity of blood consumed by the other. We were still on the same subject as we entered the house to a full audience. We each tried to debate our side but they were all too busy laughing at the polite manner in which we argued!

Jasper got drawn into a discussion with Carlisle about when he and Alice disagreed. If he didn't cave under with the 'but I have seen...' excuse she flew into a ball of rage, fireworks ensued until Jasper relented and allowed her to have her way. Jasper used the giggle attack the previous day as the reason he hated emotions getting too strong, he had two choices shut down as far as he could from any feelings or deal with the deluge from others and have all rational reason disappear as the emotions just feed. In a volatile emotional climate Jasper finds it far harder to hold his ground and not get sucked into the vortex.

After all those years with Maria living with rage, anger, fear, hate and all the dark, soul draining emotions, all sucking him under he found Alice's hyper enthusiasm and energy a ladder of positive emotion to climb out of the mire he lived for so long. As the years went by the extremes of emotion made him feel like a yo-yo bouncing up and down but rarely finding the balance he craved. He found himself doing anything to climb out onto steady ground just to find peace. He either went with the flow or had to shut down any emotion. As I learnt from my zombie phase that isn't a good option either.

I was drawn into discussion with Esme who pointed out I never argued with Edward and as I told her it was pointless arguing with him, he just ignored my opinion and did his own way. My biggest gripe was he didn't tell me what was going off most of the time just expected me to do as he decided. Even when I did get the chance to make my opinion known he would make me feel inferior. I enjoyed having someone to talk to that actually listened and respected my point of view even if it differed from theirs, you can still agree to disagree.

We both maintained we weren't arguing we were both just surprised at the differences and we were discussing them.

Emmett had to throw in his two-penn'orth in (blame Carlisle for that old saying he still comes out with that instead of cents and it stuck with all the family, must be his age!), that half the fun of an argument was the make up sex afterwards.

Well, that killed that discussion! Rose made sure of that by arguing with Emmett over it, well Emmett's point was proved in their case, quite quickly!

A/N

Just a few little tweaks to this chapter and chapter 9 for Bell 1. I hope it reads better now!

:)-J


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Carlisle picked my brain on my research clarifying some points and questioning others.

When Rose returned she asked me to walk with her. I thought it a good time to leave as Carlisle was back delving into my research again.

She told me her story and explained her dream was for a family. Her jealousy towards me stemmed from the fact I had life and a future, that I was willing to throw it away so lightly. That combined with her view of our relationship, that Edward didn't have any respect for my opinion and I should have stood up to him, were her reasons for snubbing me.

She felt so guilty that I was drugged into submission without any of them being aware including the perpetrator. The manner in which he left me infuriated her beyond belief. She still couldn't get over Alice's part in it all after claiming to be my best friend then treating me with such disregard. She must have seen me after she left to know to leave the door open at the house but Rosalie agreed with me we must be missing something more. At least we hoped we were missing something more or Alice wasn't the person either of us thought.

We turned the conversation to lighter things, namely cars and engines. She can talk all day about that. It's a good thing a photographic memory is part of the vampire package, I can quote her own books back at her! Not to mention just being in the garage for so many days with Jake while he was working, the knowledge just crept in.

When we got back to the house we could hear raised voices, "But even the Major followed her orders, do you have any idea ….shit."

"Did you have a nice walk?" Peter called out in a much softer voice than his previous sentence.

"We did, what have you being doing?" I asked as we walked in to a sea of sheepish faces.

"Umm, just having a chat?" Peter muttered.

I raised an eyebrow.

"See, see. Do you see what she does? And she is just a newborn. Look at us. This just proves my point," Peter ranted, then walked out of the room.

I looked at Carlisle then at each of them as they refused to meet my eye.

"What?" it wasn't even that loud or even very firm but they flinched and after a minute of trying to put the onus anyone else, Jasper spoke up.

"Peter was pointing out some of your character strengths as a vampire and how you differ from a normal newborn. We were debating the reasons?" he picked his words with great care.

"When debating gets to that tone and volume I would call it an argument. Now fill me in properly, stop holding stuff back, being kept in the dark about things irritates me immensely," then in a slightly louder voice, "Peter, get back in here, you aren't getting out of it that easy."

Peter mumbled all the way back, I didn't get all of it but, "I told them but will they listen and now I'm getting dragged into this."

"Come on Mutley, stop mumbling, if you have something to say, let's hear it," so I enjoy the old cartoons, everyone has a vice!

"You shouldn't have survived. The pain you were in was too much for a human, hell it was too much for most vampires, you bought Jasper to his knees and he can cope with more than most but Char and I didn't even realise you were hurting you hide it so well. You are too calm and controlled, you don't act like a newborn yet you have got the strength and speed. You act like you are centuries old not hours old. Vampires with one gift are rare yet you seem to have at least two. You say jump, we ask how high, it just ain't natural," he ran out of steam.

"Is that the sum of it or has anyone else got something to add?" I looked at each of them as they looked in annoyance at Peter and sorrow at me.

"I take it that's a no then. Firstly, Thank you Peter," I got the you've got two heads look from them all again, "I appreciate knowing what is going off even if I don't like it," I smiled to show I wasn't too upset.

"I've had a little time to think since most of you points have been made in a less forthright manner since I met you. I think it may go back to Edward being unable to read my mind. All I can think is whatever protected my mind from Edward helped protect me from the pain, which is how I was able to survive.

You saw how accident prone I was, I recovered from one injury only to get another. It was normal for me to deal with pain.

I believe the low level of scent kept the change slow enough to give my body time to adapt, give the small amount of venom time to repair things before they failed.

The close presence of the shape-shifters I believe helped significantly.

I had the advantage that I knew about vampires so unlike the rest of you I had time to come to terms with this life and had lots of time to acclimatise to the upgrades. I changes for me have come gradually. I had dealt with them and the pain.

My mum always told me I was born middle aged and kept getting older from there. I spent years doing nothing but gathering knowledge and my brain was part vampire for much of that time. I've trained my body and my mind as it was changing. You think I have two or more powers. The two powers you believe I have are skills I fought to acquire and develop just to stay alive; knowledge and self-defence. I don't think they are gifts. I think the one you can't place is the reason Edward couldn't reach my mind.

As for your comment about following my orders, I was the mature one in the relationship with my mother, I had to look after her. With my father, I cooked and cleaned and he left me to myself. I walked into a known house of vampires as a human with my biggest fear being would you like me. When James came after me you used my suggestion with the plan that was used, so I must have had enough something about me then.

I had to pick myself up after you all left and cope with withdrawal symptoms without support or knowledge of what was happening to me. I ran with shape-changers and held my own, they aren't exactly know for their even tempers!

My human life was threatened directly by a coven of vampires. I had my death faked and needed to leave all my family and friends. I started a life alone, in pain and with a threat constantly over my head. I made a name for my self in a short time so I had to be strong enough to hold my own. I even forged ahead in a cut throat business world. I had to learn to live and function with pain as my constant companion. I had to learn how to focus beyond the pain, direct my thoughts and not get distracted by the agony that consumed my body.

I did all this while trying to stay hidden, trying to keep those I care for safe. I didn't dare even make friends in fear they would suffer for being close to me.

I had to educate myself to find out what was wrong with me. I couldn't ask advice from my peers, it would have endangered them in the process. Even at university I was the youngest even with my aliases age and I had to fight to hold my own, I did. I earned respect in the process, they listened to me and let me take the lead as my ideas worked.

I couldn't back down, I only had myself to rely on. My danger magnet kept working at full strength, I have had so many near misses to my life and I trained my self to fight, mentally and physically; to deal with whatever life threw at me. Is it that surprising I came out of the furnace stronger and more determined?

The venom was in my system for so long. My change was long and drawn out. I believe the venom amplifies human characteristics. How many of you got to change or train as the venom worked? Is it too much of a stretch to think just by surviving so long in those circumstances gave the venom more to work with?

I never was normal, why the hell do you think I should start now?" yes, I had fish faces staring at me yet again, the gaping mouths got to me most this time!

I turned for the door and went for a run to give them time to think and talk without me. I didn't hear a word spoken until I was on the edge of my hearing range. I think I shocked them to silence.

I switched my mind away from the worry about how they would react. I allowed the freedom of running and the speed put a contented smile on my face. I found myself back at the top of the same tree, just breathing and enjoying the view.

It was there Jasper found me, "I'm sorry. We're sorry, will you come back."

I laughed at him as his face was contorted with worry, "There is nothing to be sorry for. I was trying to give all of you time to process without fear of upsetting me. I'm never claimed to be normal. I'm not surprised you are finding it hard to come to terms with after experiencing so many newborns that are so radically different from me. What are my emotions telling you?"

"Calm, peace and contentment are the most dominant, you don't know how nice it is to spend time with you and experience those emotions so strongly," I could see his face relax as he let my emotions wash over him.

"I spent so long alone and in pain, without anyone there for me. You can't believe what a gift you gave me when you finished the process. The pain has gone and I get people I can talk to without having to hide, it's a huge deal for me," I leapt out of the tree with a burst of mischief, landing gently on his shoulders then jumped right in front of him. I laughed at the bemused expression on his face until he shook his head at me.

I grabbed his hand, "Come on let's head back."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

It was Dr Cullen, yes I need to make the distinction between him and Carlisle, that greeted us at the door, "Bella, I believe it would be prudent to invite Eleazar here to see if he can confirm the suppositions on your powers. His gift is the ability to see gifts and he should be able to confirm the extent of your abilities. He worked for the Volturi for many years so he might know who to ask about the effect of our scent on humans."

"When you put it like that Doc C, how am I to resist!" how do you stay serious when someone throws that at you?

I looked to Jasper, "Damn Jasper, I don't suppose this Eleazar will be coming by himself. Will we lose our nice quiet night time sanctuary?"

"Well they won't want to impose..." I didn't let Esme get any further.

"I was teasing, I have an empty house, bigger than this run down place that they are welcome to use," I had to send Charlotte a wink to make sure she knew I was giving Peter a bit of stick at the same time.

Esme blurted, "Your house?"

"You want a tour?" I threw out a random guess, "No time like the present!"

Jasper broke in, "No, the Denali's can't come."

"But..." Carlisle started

Jasper cut him off, "Have you forgotten Irena?"

His face was blank for a moment then realisation started appearing.

Rose spoke up, "Laurent."

I chipped in, "The wolves killed Laurent when he attacked me, but what has Irena got to do with anything?"

Rose sighed, "They were mated."

"Great, another one that will blame me. I see my danger magnet is still working at full power," I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"Irena deserves closure, she needs to know he was killed. They have been searching for him for the last five years," Rose said softly

Jasper nodded, "I agree she needs closure but we need to be careful about the details we give her. I'm sure Bella won't want Irena targeting the wolves in retribution," he looked at Carlisle, "It might be better if they all don't come here. I think Bella would be better if she continues using her alias. Her death was faked for a valid reason. That threat is still out there. If they find out she is still alive we put the people of both Forks and La Push back in jeopardy. We can't allow those that protected her after we deserted her to be placed back in danger, if anyone finds out she is still alive. We will need a more complete back story for her so we can ask questions to find out how the circumstances of her change have affected her."

Carlisle sat pensive for a few moments, "I agree. We need to come up with a story for both. How about we take Bella up on her offer to visit her house while we think on what stories we can use?

Jasper and Rose nodded then went to the door.

A jovial Emmett piped up, "Can I come too?"

Such a simple request but the tension evaporated.

"The more the merrier," I called over my shoulder as I headed to the door.

Jasper was the only one that had been to my house so it ended up a family outing.

Carlisle cast a longing look back at my laptop containing my research before following us out.

"It will still be there when you get back," I teased him.

I would have sworn he would be blushing, if he could.

Esme, Rosalie and Charlotte all oohed and wowed at the house and the inside décor. We lost Emmett and Peter in the games room and Carlisle in the laboratory. The girls were that into dissecting every feature I decided to sneak off.

I didn't get very far when I heard Jasper following, I stopped to wait.

We ran for a while until we came to little run-down wooden cabin on one of the new parcels I added to the land. I hadn't had chance to do much to it yet but as a vampire, electricity and running water don't have the same value as before. I hadn't even had a look inside it yet. I bought it sight unseen.

I pointed it out as soon as it came into sight, Jasper had a quick worry about the owners being human and I put him straight quickly, telling him that it was mine!

All it had was a log stove and few mismatched chairs, a table and a sleeping frame.

Light came to his eyes as he saw it, "It's perfect."

"It feels calm and relaxed here," I said with a matching smile.

He sat down in the ancient rocking chair, "This might be as old as me."

"You're just a simple country boy at heart, aren't you?" I asked

A wry smile crossed his face, "You caught me."

"This would make a great bolt hole. A couple of candles, a few books and the chess board, anything else?" I questioned.

"Maybe a pack of cards and a guitar too," he asked with a smile, then with a hint of worry, "if that's okay?"

"Suits me," I answered with a smile.

We sat for a while just enjoying the calm until Jasper broke the silence, "I suppose we should head back before they send out a search party."

I stood reluctantly, "You're right, I suppose," I sulked.

He grabbed my hand, "We'll be back soon, come on."

We were idiots on the way back, Jasper kept tugging my hand trying to get me to run into low growing branches or even into trees and as soon as I realised his game I did the same back. He tripped me and I rolled over dragging him with me. We landed in a heap covered in soil and leaves.

"Fool," I yelled at him as I slapped his arm. I was holding the laughter back.

"You're no better," he teased back.

We pulled each other back up and continued our silly game all the way back.

We were laughing like loons when we got back to the house much to the amusement of the others.


	14. Chapter 14

_Hi. _

_Thanks for the reviews, they make me smile._

_Apologies in advance for another short chapter, I suppose I could have put these together but it felt the right place to put a break._

_:)-J  
_

**Chapter 14**

Emmett's amused voice boomed out, "Who are you and what did you do to my brother?"

"What?" I asked in annoyance.

"Jasper, he is laughing, yet again. In all the years I have known him, I have seen him laugh more in the last day, than I have seen in all those years. So I ask him again, who are you and what did you do to my brother?"

"I laughed before," Jasper retorted.

"Never without everyone else laughing, never so, so honestly, so wholeheartedly," Emmett explained softly.

"But.." Jasper started to protest.

Peter cut him off, "Emmett's right Jasper, in all the years I have known you, you have never been so at peace with yourself."

Jasper looked at each person in turn. A frown on his face, then he ran.

I made to follow but Peter had his hand on my arm before I could take a step, "Just give him some time."

It hurt, I don't know why but it hurt.

"Let's walk, there are some things you need to know," Peter said as he threw his arm over my shoulder. He glanced at Charlotte and she came to my other side wrapping an arm around my waist.

Peter turned back to the Cullen's, "We will see you back at our house later tonight."

We walked for miles like that without a word spoken. The comfort and companionship was restful but I still had a pull worrying about Jasper.

We came to an open clearing with a huge fallen tree. Peter grinned and leapt in front of us up onto the tree. He dropped to sit on the tree and patted the spot next to him, "Pull up a pew,"

I looked at Charlotte, our expressions mirrored as we rolled our eyes at him but we jumped up next to him.

"You need to understand about Jasper and the Major..." he started.

He went on to explain how the Major took over during the war, the only way Peter could describe was as a defence mechanism to cope with the horror of it all. It was bad enough to be part of the war but being subjected to all the negative emotions especially from newborns and opposing forces, he couldn't imagine how Jasper survived, never mind came out sane.

He was a shell when they rescued him. They tried everything they could think to try and help him. His depression deepened each time he fed, his victims emotions overwhelmed him. He left Peter and Charlotte to try and spare them from his projected emotions

As the Major he was able to release the emotions and use them to help the war effort. The Major was a force to be reckoned with. He wasn't the sort of person you cross and expect to survive. Jasper is scared and fearful of what the Major is capable of, he buried all the aspects of himself that remind him of the Major in fear what could happen if he lets him out.

Alice did him a world of good by showing him a different way of feeding. Even with her emotions to lift him it was only enough to bring him out of the mire. He was content but in trying to cling to the hope and hide part of himself, he lost himself in a different way. He lost trust in himself to make any decision without someone to monitor him. Alice encouraged him to keep burying the Major, burying any self-confidence in the process.

When Peter found him after the loss of Alice, he was a mess. Projecting his self-hatred and worthlessness. Over the years with Peter and Char he started to find confidence in himself. He learnt he was strong enough to maintain the vegetarian diet with needing a chaperone watching his every move.

Without the hyper emotions to buoy him up he still dipped into depression for days, weeks or months at a time but they fought to lift him back out again. The Major he still kept buried.

He rarely cracked even a smile in the years with them.

Peter thought it was my pain that triggered the release of the Major, the memories of his time with Maria.

Peter and Charlotte were petrified that Jasper would slide back into his depression when he attacked me. The fact his eyes stayed gold showing he hadn't drunk from me and the Major's personality stayed, had them numb in shock.

Peter now thinks that my gratitude towards the Major and forgiveness and understanding towards Jasper for the earlier attack helped the two of them to start to merge again or at least work together. Peter and Charlotte both tried to reassure him that his past didn't make him a monster but since they hadn't fully believed that about themselves, Jasper never listened. My 'not a monster' talk had struck a chord in each of them, giving them each hope.

He went on to tell me vampires rarely change, humans tend to get stuck in a rut, vampires more so!

When a change is triggered in a vampire it is usually profound and they happily stick with the new rut!

He thinks Jasper has had one of those changes. That he is coming to terms with who he is, all of him not just Jasper Hale or The Major but Major Jasper Whitlock.

It will take a while for everyone to get used to the new Jasper, including Jasper.

Peter started giving me strange looks. Char made a tiny negative to him with her head. It was all I could do to care what they were having a silent communication about, keeping things from me. My mind was spinning with everything they had told me and all I wanted to do was check Jasper was okay.

Charlotte had watched me carefully as Peter explained, throwing a few comments in here and there to better confirm Peter's words, she spoke up again, "I think he has had enough time."

I couldn't hold the smile back, just as I was about to leap down I had a thought. I paused long enough to palm the scent bottle containing the vamp pepper spray, I had used on her, discretely into her hand. I winked and set off at full speed.

Unsure of where he would be I headed back towards my house. I hadn't got far when I caught a hint of his scent trail. I quickly changed direction to intersect it. I was amused to find it lead back to my run-down cabin we visited earlier.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

I knocked and walked in. He was sat in the rocking chair again. A soft smile graced his face as he saw me coming in the door.

I sat in the chair next to him never taking my eyes from his.

"You okay," "Sorry for running," we both spoke at the same time.

He ducked his head, "I needed to get away to think, I hope you don't mind me coming here."

"Why would I mind you coming here? I showed you this place so you could use it!" I paused, worrying for a moment, "I can go, if you want some more space."

"No," came the instantaneous response, he sounded slightly panicked as his widened eyes shot to mine. I would swear he would be blushing as his eyes dropped to the floor again, "I'd like to talk if you don't mind."

His voice so soft and uncertain, he was hard to hear even with my enhanced senses.

I reached for his hand to try and give him some comfort. He sounded so lost. I squeezed his hand then started to pull away. He caught my hand and linked our fingers sighing softly.

"I've missed having contact," he explained.

I gave a wry laugh, "I know the feeling, before that hug you gave me after the phone call at my house, Charlie was the last person to give me a hug. I was so afraid of letting anyone get close to me, in fear of them getting dragged into my madness. The only physical contact I had was shaking hands at business meetings."

"We should never have left you. Not after letting you into this world. Edward pleaded for us to leave so you could have a normal human life. You know he loved you immensely, he left for your safety. We all regret the loss of our humanity, that was only reason we agreed to follow his demands. He wanted you to have all the things we could only dream of," I must have looked or felt confused as he stopped and explained further, "He wanted you to have a normal life. The 2.4 children, picket fence life, he thought you deserved."

I laughed without humour, "Even if I hadn't suffered all the side effects of the loss of vampires from my life, I never wanted that sort of life. I never wanted children, I spent my childhood raising my mother, not the other way around. My parents marriage left me with a phobia of that sort of life. The closest I came to finding my place in the world, the place I felt at home was in the Cullen house. To have that ripped from me, left me feeling about as wanted as yesterday's garbage. My best friend left without even a goodbye and with no way to contact her. My boyfriend didn't just stomp on my heart, he ripped it out and then shredded it in front of my eyes before tossing it in the dirt. I don't think I'll ever find all the pieces never mind know how to put it back together".

"The way he left you, the way he lied to you is unforgivable. I should have fought harder to make sure someone kept an eye out for you. Edward banned us, he claimed he didn't want to have to see you in our thoughts if you had done what he asked – move on. On hearing your side of the story, he didn't want us to know how he left you, not one of us would left if we knew the truth. I wanted anyone to come back and check on you. I couldn't, I thought you would hate me for causing it all, fear me for attacking you," self-loathing permeated the room.

"Jasper," I tried to get him to look at me, "Jasper," I said harshly this time.

He looked up.

"Jasper," I spoke as gently as I could, moving to crouch in front of him and pulling his other hand into mine, "I never blamed you. I told Alice to tell you at the time. You didn't cause it all. He would have left at some point, he never considered me his equal. His hatred of himself would never have allowed him to change me willingly. I know he loved me in his own fashion but I don't know how much was obsession with his singer and a mind that was silent to him. If he had any respect for me he would have talked to me, allowed me a choice."

"It was my weakness that forced his hand, Alice was furious at me losing control with you," arghh, he just didn't listen.

"Jasper, Alice had no right to blame you. Her eyes went just as black as everyone's, apart from Carlisle's. They all reacted to my blood," I told him.

"Yes, but I was the only one to act," he threw back.

"Arghh," I yelled at him, "You had to deal with their blood-lust as well as your own. Edward only just managed to let me live when he first met me, that was without an open wound. He had chance to acclimatize himself to my blood. I don't think the burn ever lessened for him, I think part of his obsession for me was torturing himself with the burn. You were never given that chance to get used to my scent. When he threw me into that table, he made things even worse. You had the blood lust for a singer not to mention everyone else's blood lust to deal with. It was not your fault," I screamed the last words at him in my frustration. I had stood during my rant.

I sighed and crouched back in front of him, "Let it go. You fight you instincts every day. You are not to blame for reacting to a blast of emotion you find it the hardest to fight against."

"It's more than that. Emmett was right. I never thought about it before. It was so much better with Alice and the Cullen's, the best life I had as a vampire. But, and it's a huge but, I never laughed apart from when others emotions overwhelmed me. I was content for the most part but I never felt fully trusted, always the weak link, always watched. You are so strong, you survived so much. You still feel hope and joy. Even back then, you accepted us, all of us. You had more trust for me than any of the rest of the family did. Did you know that's why I told you were worth it when we were in Phoenix? You gave me back a part of me that was lost with Maria, you made me feel worth something more than just a fighting machine. You really are worth it, you give so much. We deserted you and left you to go through hell, all alone, all because of us," his words faded out as he broke down. His body shook as the dry sobs ripped through him.

"It's not your fault, I never blamed you for what happened then, I never will. You're the one that saved me. I will be forever grateful for that. You are a good man. You can't change the past, but you can learn from it. You need to accept your past and who you are and move forward. You have hidden parts of yourself and lived in depression for too long," I whispered to him as I wrapped my arms around him and held him.

When he settled down, he pulled me onto his lap in the chair, we just held each other.

His first words, hours later, "I'm sorry for.."

I knew he would try and apologise for showing emotion, for letting it out. I stopped him, "Don't be sorry for releasing all that pent up emotion, how do you feel now?"

I could see him thinking, "Lighter, I feel like a weight has lifted," he answered with awe.

"Peter stopped me from following you, he wanted a word. He told me vampires rarely change but when they do it's profound. He thinks you have had one of those shifts. He said it would take a while to get used to the new you. That you might need a while to deal with the change," I smiled, "I suppose I have the advantage, I never had chance to get to know you before so I'll not notice any differences."

We sat in each others arms, in silence, until the sun rose.

Jasper broke the silence, "I suppose we should head back."

I pouted, "Five more minutes, I feel like I did when I was human and the alarm woke me. I just want to hide under the covers and pretend I'm still asleep, all comfy and cosy!"

He laughed, "I know what you mean!" he sobered, "They will worry if we don't head back soon."

"Spoil sport!" I stuck my tongue out at him.

He laughed and shook his head, then he subdued, "Thank you for last night. I needed it," he said seriously.

"Any time. I'm here for you," I rubbed his back and gave a gentle squeeze.

We both sighed then unwrapped ourselves.

I stood and waited as Jasper locked up the cabin. He grabbed my hand then looked at me concerned. I just smiled and squeezed his hand to let him know I was more than all right with the contact. He smiled back and we set off back to Peter and Charlotte's house.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

A forlorn Emmett stood waiting on the porch. He face brightened as he saw us, "Jazz, I'm sorry."

Jasper shook his head, "There is nothing to be sorry for Emmett. You were right. I never let myself see it. It was so much better than what I had known before. I never thought I deserved more than that. Bella helped me see," Jasper looked at me and smiled in thanks, "I need to forgive myself and find a future that works for me, I need to decide what makes me happy rather than letting the past hold me back."

Jasper sighed then straightened, he clapped Emmett on the back, "Come on let's go in. Have you any ideas for the back stories we need?"

Emmett jumped into the most complicated, convoluted story for what could have happened to Laurent. We just stared at him.

"Emmett, you obviously spent a long time thinking that up. The problem is getting it all straight. Maybe if we simplify it a bit. Occam's razor; the simplest explanation is more likely the correct one, might make for a more believable story," I suggested carefully, "the closer we can stay to the truth the easier it will be to believe."

I retold how Laurent had found me and went into more detail about what he told me. Laurent had red eyes, he had been hunting in Canada when Victoria found him and encouraged him to check up on me. I remembered the wolves had found a couple of items of jewellery in the Laurent's ashes. I had them, along with many other items to try to assist in my quest for knowledge on venom and scent.

Carlisle spoke up about his conversations with Aro. Their chats covered far more than just Edward and Alice. Aro had told him all the gossip in the vampire world. The Volturi had eliminated some nomad's in Canada. Humans were becoming suspicious of the huge number of strange deaths around Vancouver so the Volturi stepped in and removed the problem. The vampires that the Volturi had eliminated were known to have attacked any nomads hunting in, what they perceived to be, their territory.

Peter is well known for having many friends and acquaintances that live a nomadic life but they like to stay under the radar. As nomads they like the chance to have a good old chin wag but a bit like police informants they want to keep their identities secret!

We could use Peter's tendency to talk to many nomads to hide the fact it was me that gave him the information. Using all the different aspects we came up with the story.

Peter had heard on the grapevine about a nomad of Laurent's description that had been seen hunting in the Vancouver area. One of Peter's source's had seen smoke and found the jewellery in the ashes. They didn't know any more details as they had stayed hidden to avoid detection, waiting to investigate until the coast was clear. Peter persuaded them to hand the jewellery over to give their mate some closure, if Irena recognised it as Laurent's.

Carlisle intended gossiping about the news he had from Aro and let the Denali's put the two and two together. Carlisle wasn't happy about trying to deceive his friend but he agreed it was necessary.

We weren't asking Carlisle to lie directly but the lies of omission would hopefully save lives. It was as close to the truth as we could get to allow Irena some closure but not give her the wolves as a target. Hopefully she would believe Laurent's killers dead so she could move on without needing vengeance.

One down one to go!

How did Belinda Carlie Wolfe become a vampire? Should I change name yet again?

Again we decide to stick to a simple story as we could, staying as close to the truth as possible.

We debated back and forth deciding if we wanted Eleazar to give us an accurate answer the story needed to include some truth from my human life. The bite and withdrawal symptoms needed to be included.

Peter came up with his idea for the story. He thought it might be worth using my research to make up a vampire that had the control to take a sip and move on.

Since Belinda's back story had her coming from Phoenix and loosing both her parents in a fire they built that into the tale.

Belinda returned home from college to look after her parents who were suffering from extreme fatigue. In the first week she noticed a scar on her arm but had no idea how she received it. She had strange memories of a sandy haired man (a Peter look alike?) in her room talking to her and biting her but she dismissed it as a weird dream.

She regained conscious in hospital to find out her parents had been killed in a house fire, she was found surrounded in glass on the lawn. She had vague recollections of her dream guy, an extremely attractive sandy haired man fighting against two scruffy feral looking teenagers. She thought it must be a nightmare when arms and legs were ripped off. The sandy haired man had thrown her out of the window as the flames licked through the door.

With her home gone she moved into her parents retirement dream house. After a couple of months she bumped into Peter and Charlotte on a supply run. Jasper attacked when he felt her pain.

The Cullen's came running when Jasper asked and explained the strange nature of her change. They arrived the following day.

"No, no, no. I'm not going with a Dracula story," I complained as they wove their ridiculous story.

I suggested, "Keep it simple, the truth will work. Peter had his weird knowledge thing that led him and Charlotte to meet me as I drove out on a supply run. They were surprised when I knew they are vampires but I wasn't scared of them. Jasper attacked when he felt my pain. We had a brief talk but I hadn't filled you in on any of my story. The only lie we need to tell is when my change was complete I was unwilling to talk about my human life. You have only the paper trail to follow. I will confirm some details. We can tell them that a vampire drank from me but the venom was removed to prevent the change. I learnt of vampires from him. Circumstances separated us. I won't tell you more details as I want to keep my past a secret for the protection of those that knew me."

I looked at Carlisle, "I don't want to lie any further to people you consider family. If we keep the falsehoods to a minimum I'm hoping they will forgive us when the threat is gone."

"As to why you rushed down here, Jasper phoned you since I'm such a strange newborn. I offered up my laptop with all the research on venom and scent. He hoped you might have some answers," I looked around to see how my suggestions were going down.

Carlisle and Jasper looked deep in thought, they looked at each other and nodded.

Carlisle spoke, "What about your name?"

"Since we are so isolated here and the back story for Belinda gives her no close family I think I can stay with this name while I remain here. I think you would be better referring to me as Bel or Belinda rather than Bella. No need to let anyone make too many parallels," I phrased it more as a question but I could see their agreement in their faces.

Carlisle walked across and grasped my hand in both of his, "Thank you my dear sweet one. Thank you for allowing me to give them closure yet not at a cost to others. I am not comfortable with lies and deceit yet this life forces my hand. You have given me a way to hold my head up, without putting others at risk. It means more than you know."

He rubbed my hand in his and sighed as he released me. He returned to his seat and looked at the rest of his family, "Unfortunately I need to return to work, Emmett and Rosalie both have college. Your research causes me much concern. I would like to run tests on the neutraliser and ensure it is effective without putting others at risk. How do I know if my work colleagues have been infected by my scent?"

"Blood samples would be of benefit but I only had myself as a test subject so I can't be certain. I did do some discrete research into those that worked closest with you in Forks. After you left the absences and illness was put down to a flu bug going round," Carlisle's face fell.

"Carlisle, you didn't know. None of the students or teachers at school had any time off so if they had any symptoms, they were minimal. If you start using the neutraliser and continue working you can treat them with the wolf scent. In low exposure cases like these, I think all symptoms should be gone within a month. The more data you can collect the better chance we have of preventing it ever happening again," I knew he would harbour guilt over causing any discomfort to the people he worked so hard to help.

Carlisle slumped. Esme immediately hugged him but her eyes were on mine imploring me to help him.

"Carlisle," I said sternly, "Go back to work, use the neutraliser on yourself and the wolf scent on your colleagues. Any samples you can procure will be of benefit, even skin or saliva samples. The rest of you must do the same. Carlisle can give you ideas how to get the samples even if you just collect used coffee cups and drink tins, it will all help. Give it a month. Keep close watch on the humans that are in closest proximity. I will send a range of perfumes for men and women that you can give as leaving gifts. They will have more of the active ingredient from the wolves scent to ensure any residual effects are neutralised. You can come back then and we can use the new data to confirm my findings."

I could see the glimmer of hope and the challenge of new research whittling through the self hate he had going.

"Eleazar may know something about old practises of keeping human pets for feeding. The Volturi banned it in an effort to keep our existence secret," ah, I reached Dr Cullen. He was in research mode.

"I think they need to deal with the loss of Laurent before you get into research mode with him," all in good time, "I'm not going anywhere. I would like some time to come to terms with the new me. I don't need to know about potential powers yet, let me get used to everything else first. Talk to him in detail about the scent when the month is up, it might give us more insight. Give them time to grieve as a family first, without the distraction."

Dr. Cullen looked thoughtful as he nodded in agreement.

Emmett commandeered me as soon as he realised we had finished with the heavy conversations. Games systems have never held my attention for long so I never got that good at any of them. We played on the Wii all afternoon. Peter and Jasper joined us for Mario Karts and they all had a good laugh at how bad I am. Boys and their toys! I did have a lot of fun and seriously intend getting a few practise sessions in so I can beat Emmett when they return.

Evening rolled around and the couples paired off for their private time. Jasper and I took our cue to leave.

An unfortunate deer bit the dust, it crossed our path on the way back to my house. It soothed the tickle in my throat.

I didn't expect anything from Charlie but I checked just in case.

Jasper was quiet. He just looked like he was thinking everything through. I grabbed my Ipod and put it on random. Random also describes the range of music, I have a wide variety on there. I'm never quite sure what will come on next.

Remembering Jasper's comment at the cabin I grabbed a pack of cards. We sat next to each other on the sofa using the coffee table for the cards.

As I sat down Jasper put his arm around me pulling me into his side, his eyes gently asking if I was okay with it. I just smiled at him.

I can't say we sat in silence but we were both quiet. A few words here and there deciding on what game to play next, a comment here and there at particular songs. We were in contact all night, hands and arms constantly brushing. His thigh flush with mine. He would sigh and place his head briefly on my shoulder. His concerned glances for my reaction at his physical contact reduced considerably when I asked him to check how I felt. It was calm and comfortable, a peaceful way to spend the night.

Sun rise bought the first hint of dissatisfaction in him. I reached my arm around his back and gave him a hug. He leant into me then scooped me up, stood and spun me.

"Thank you," he put me gently on my feet. He leant forward leaning his forehead to mine, "Thank you for giving me just what I needed."

"I suppose this means we have to go back over there again," I pouted.

"They are leaving today, we need to see them off," he sounds as enthusiastic as I feel.

We ran back. Our hands linked without a second thought.

It was a long morning of drawn out goodbyes. No matter how many times we reminded them it was just a month they still didn't want to leave.

Promises of staying in contact and returning in a months time were repeated, I'd say until they were blue in the face, but that saying doesn't work for vampires!

At long last, the four of us stood waving as their vehicle disappeared from view.

I let out a large sigh of relief. Then realised what I had done and looked at the others in panic. They just burst out in laughter.

Peter piped up, "Couldn't have said it better myself."

I laughed with them.

I was always so alone. I never understood when others came back to university relieved to be back. Before they went they were so excited to go home and see everyone, so why so happy to be back.

I got it now. It was lovely to see them all again but I felt under pressure to be the person they remembered, to spend time with them like I used to. I learnt independence and have a new life and want to spend my time without them looking over my shoulder. I don't love them any less but I do want my own space.

Peter and Char don't make me feel that way. I don't feel any expectation from them that I must spend time with them. I want to spend time with them because I chose to and I enjoy their company.

It's the same with Jasper. I have only spent a hour here and there away from him since my change but I don't feel the need to have space from him. The opposite in fact, I feel happier in his company.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Now it was just the four of us, things were much more relaxed. We stayed with the same routine, days we all spent together, the nights Jasper and I retreated to my house. He has more of his clothes and possessions in my house now than he does at Peter and Char's.

The days aren't dull. Peter comes up with the most ridiculous ideas. Char and I join in most of the time. Sometimes we have left the boys to play like the toddlers they revert to and have some girl time. It's great having such a laugh. The combination of the pressure I put on myself to figure out what was wrong with me, the pain and hiding were all too much. I didn't have a life I just existed. The freedom and enjoyment are exhilarating. I love how easily Peter makes everything fun. I think Charlotte is enjoying having another female to even things out a bit and take her side when Peter goes off too far.

Char tells me it is the first time she has ever seen Jasper let loose. I hardly saw him with the Cullen's, when I did he was in the background. I always assumed it was just because of me and his blood lust but it seems it was more than that. He was so consumed with keeping the Major buried, holding his emotions so tightly he never relaxed and had fun, like he is doing now.

Even our nights together are lighter. Plenty of laughter, joking and fooling around. Tickle wars are his favoured pastime at the moment. I just wish I wasn't quite as ticklish but I get him back and it all starts over.

Char is unlike any female friend I've had before. Considering how few friends I have had that may not say much. She is as happy sat reading and discussing books as she is wrestling and play fighting. She has so many tales about escapades the three of them have got into over the years. She paints her stories with such detail it almost feels like you were there with them. She teases me no end over how interested I am in any stories about Jasper's past. She has no interest in playing dress up or all the other girly stuff Alice inflicted on me. She has such a dry sense of humour, but living with Peter I suppose that is essential!

Peter, well what can I say about him. He is annoying, irritating, rude, all the 'ists – chauvinist, sexist.. you get the gist! He is also kind, compassionate, caring, overprotective, the list goes on.

He is fun to be around. He can be serious but its rare, more often he is sarcastic, facetious and downright funny. He loves being a vampire and it shows. I think it is impossible to get bored when Peter is about. Everything he does he throws himself into 100% and then some.

I can understand why Char threatened to ban Peter from any television. He uses what he finds on T.V. as ideas for what to do next.

After watching clips of the Highland games he thought caber tossing looked fun so had us competing throwing trees, yes entire trees, leaves, branches and roots included. It was all fun until he got annoyed with my newborn strength and he tried hoppling me, he tied my legs so I couldn't get a run up to throw the tree.

Jasper got really protective of me, Peter said something to him and the two of them ended up fighting. They were going hell for leather. Char was getting worried after a particularly nasty attack. They were back circling each other again so I went to dive between to try and break them up. Char grabbed my arm to stop me. My other arm reaching out to try and get between them. The next thing we knew as they charged at each other and they both bounced back.

The shock knocked them both out of their anger.

"What..." "How?" they spoke in unison.

Charlotte raised her hand to silence them. She looked back at them, then back at me, "It was Bella. I think she's a shield."

"Shield, I suppose that would explain why Edward couldn't read her. It must be mental and physical," a shocked Jasper surmised.

Peter looked doubtful, "The most powerful shield that I have heard of is Renata. She works for the Volturi. Her shield repels physical attack by mentally confusing the attacker. I never heard of anyone that was able to create a physical barrier."

Charlotte defended her theory, "Benjamin's ability to control the elements is physical. Until him I had never heard of anyone with such a mighty physical power."

"But both mental and physical, who has a power that is both," Peter questioned.

Char laughed, "Jasper!"

Peter appeared to be thoughtful then his expression change to determined, "Bella, do you think you can do the same again?"

I felt my eyes widen, "Err? I can try?"

The upside of the fight was I learned have a shield. The downside is Peter is in all out training mode.

Two days, two days of Peter and Jasper fighting each other to try and replicate the conditions that triggered me to produce or expand my shield. Still nothing. Peter was determined to do things his way. Charlotte had walked off sometime yesterday refusing to watch them fight any longer. She wouldn't even watch from the sidelines today. My anger and frustration just kept building but I still couldn't recreate earlier events.

"Stop," I yelled at them, "This is getting us nowhere."

I took a breath, "This isn't working. Let's get Char and see if we can come up with a different way of triggering it."

"But," Peter complained.

"No," Jasper said firmly, "She right, we need to try something different."

We walked back to the house. Peter did his Mutley trick of muttering and complaining under his breath all the way back.

Char was stood waiting for us, "I take it from my Dear husband's manner, his method didn't work."

"It would have worked if they had tried harder," he muttered only just loud enough to hear.

Jasper and I turned and growled at him. Charlotte had already reached him and given him a Rosalie to the back of the head. Emmett messes up so frequently with Rose, her signature slap to the back of the head got nicknamed 'a Rosalie' in the short time they were here.

Peter came up with a host of training ideas to trigger my shield. They all consisted of fighting or throwing things at me.

Charlotte vetoed the fighting ideas and Jasper vetoed any ideas that involved me being a target.

Peter is used to getting his own way. The way he pouted each time an idea was dismissed became more and more amusing.

"I don't hear anyone else coming up with any ideas, just saying 'no' to mine," Peter whined.

I had my eyes closed and was rubbing my temples. I may not get headaches any more but the frustration and annoyance levels triggered the old responses.

"Let me try and remember exactly what happened last time. If I can remember what I did and how it felt I may be able to reproduce it," I said softly.

"That's what I was trying to get you to do," an frustrated Peter complained.

"I'd like to try and recall the feelings and reactions not recreate you two hitting each other," I tried to explain.

Charlotte backed me, "Let her try, what have we got to lose?"

I closed my eyes to visualise what happened. I remembered the fight, the worry and concern I felt. I need to go and put a stop to it before they got hurt. I remembered the emotions that galvanised me into action and then ….. Charlotte's hand on my arm. She grabbed me to hold me back. I had been aware she had stopped me but I remember the frustration and the feeling of trying to extend my arm out to reach between them.

My eyes shot open, "Peter, would you try and walk across the yard? I want to try something."

He looked at me and nodded.

As he walked away I gathered myself. He turned to walk parallel to us.

I threw my arm out and remembering the stretch feeling I had before. I tried to do the same again.

Peter's toe connected with my shield as he took his next step, then his head connected as he tried to find his balance. He fell backwards. I shot my other hand out to stretch to try and catch him with another shield.

It worked. He sat on an invisible seat.

In my shock that it actually worked, I felt a recoil and Peter landed in the dust.

The look on his face, shock, had me in giggles. Jasper and Char soon joined in. Peter stood and glared as he brushed himself off. Then he too saw the funny side as we all succumb to laughter.

Once the laughter had settled Peter had me practising for a few more hours. I found the shield is like an elastic ball that surrounds me. I can throw out a section of it like a ball on elastic but it tends to bounce back in again. Holding it out takes concentration.

Jasper called an end to today's session when I started losing focus.

Carlisle's planned weekly phone call was due any time so we headed back for the brain picking exercise. We agreed to keep our theories of a shield to ourselves knowing Carlisle would push for me to meet Eleazar sooner than the end of the month as planned. We were enjoying each others company to much to add to the mix at the moment!

Carlisle gave us an update about the Denali's. He told Eleazar all the gossip from Aro before recounting his trip to see us. He mentioned me but didn't go into detail. He told them what Peter had heard about someone matching Laurent's description before giving the jewellery over. Irena was devastated when she saw the jewellery, recognising it as Laurent's. She didn't want to believe he had been back drinking from humans but the rest of the family were unsurprised. Carlisle believed they had taken the story at face value so hopefully she won't seek retribution.

Carlisle had left them to grieve, promising to catch Eleazar up with the rest of the gossip as soon as he was ready.

Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie spent their first day back collecting samples from any humans they came into contact with. Esme had an easier job as she spends so much time in her garden instead of in public.

The rest of the week they used all the sprays and concoctions I sent with them.

They still continued to collect samples to find the changes.

I could almost see Carlisle rolling his eyes as he told how he had to tone Emmett down when he went into full blown spy mode to try collect more samples.

I was exhausted. I may no long become physically exhausted but mentally I need a break from the concentration of learning to use my shield today. I no longer get the luxury of sleep so I have to work on the theory a change is as good as a rest.

Peter and Jasper were still talking so I a waved a goodbye to Char and called "I'm going to have a long soak in the tub, it's been a long day. See you in the morning," before heading home.

Jasper called out to say he would be over shortly.

I used my bedroom as a changing room since the change. I looked longingly at my bed and decided on a different option to the soak. I had a quick shower then pulled on my pj's. I know sleep is beyond me but I wanted the comfort I remembered. I allowed myself to fall back into the beds soft embrace. I wriggled up the bed to get into what used to be my normal sleeping position. I just lay with my eyes closed. I concentrated on clearing my mind and just let myself relax.

Fifty six minutes later I heard a tentative tap on my door.

"Yes," I called. I knew it was Jasper and it was confirmed by the worry he was emitting.

I opened my eyes as the door crept open and a head peeped in, "Umm, are you okay?"

"Just trying to wind down after today, it was draining," I explained.

"Oh, I was waiting downstairs for you, well..., I'll just..." he stammered.

"You can join me if you want," I offered.

I heard him sigh in relief and the door opened further as he entered.

I patted the bed next to me.

He looked so sheepish as he crossed the room. I offered him my hand. I got half a smile as he reached for my hand and laid down on his back next to me.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

We lay unmoving and in silence for hours. As the night progressed we moved gradually. Just a small adjustment here and there. It shouldn't have made much difference but by morning, well the movements had been significant. My head was on Jasper's chest, my arm around him. His arms wrapped around me, our legs entwined.

I didn't want to move. I was so comfortable and content. I tried to pretend I was unaware of our position but my growing self-consciousness must have projected to Jasper. No secrets like that with an empath.

"I suppose we should get up," a voice mumbled into my hair.

"I suppose," I agreed with a matching lack of enthusiasm.

"Just one more minute?" he asked softly as he almost imperceptibly tightened his arm around me.

I couldn't hold back the smile that crept onto my face as I savoured the comfort for just a minute, or five that it increased to.

We untangled and separated avoiding eye contact. I need to get dressed, "I'll meet you down stairs in a couple of minutes?"

He nodded and left the room closing the door behind him.

I pulled my top over my head inhaling Jasper's condensed scent in the cloth. Breathing the scent deep into my lungs letting it sooth and calm me I allowed myself to acknowledge I was coming to care for him far more than I should for a friend.

I worried for a moment that my feelings were one-sided. I thought back to all the time we spent together. All the times Jasper had sought my company, more than just company, he sought my contact. I realised the fight that triggered my shield was him acting protectively of me. When Peter came up with options for training, Charlotte vetoed all the ideas that involved violence toward Peter, Jasper vetoed those the involved violence towards me. The more I thought the more I realised the pull I feel when he is away from me. I can feel when he is close, I could feel it was him outside my door without a doubt. I feel more on edge when he isn't with me. I feel peace and serenity with him, I feel complete when I'm with him.

I wasn't sure what it all meant but I'm not going to hide from whatever it is. I don't care about our past, I want a future. I'm going to stay open to whatever the future brings.

I grabbed a clean shirt and pulled it on. I realised I was smiling. I had held back in fear of getting hurt, fear of getting left behind again. If shit hits the fan I'll deal with it but I won't live in fear, shutting myself off from the world. I decided to live, enjoy now.

I walked down stairs with a bounce in my step.

"Good Morning," I called out as I walked to Jasper. I gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

I linked my arm with his as we walked out the door.

"You are in an awfully good mood this morning," he said with a huge smile plastered across his face.

"I had a good night. I realised this morning that while I had forgiven and accepted my past, I was still hiding parts of myself in fear of it happening again. I don't want to hide any more, I want to live," I told him.

We ran at a gentle lope to Peter and Charlotte's house.

We were just past the half way point before Jasper spoke, "I think we have more in common than I ever guessed. I want to be myself, find happiness and grab it with both hands".

As had become normal for us we were running, our hands linked. His words matched his actions as he pulled my hand closer to him so he could grasp it in both of his.

My stomach clenched in hope. I turned to look at him to try and read his face. His downcast eyes tentatively lifted to met mine. Our running slowed.

My foot caught on the proverbial root and in typical Bella style I was heading for a face plant. Jasper still had my hands, his momentum spun me as a fell. Tripping him in the process.

We hit the ground in a jumble of arms and legs.

"The danger magnet strikes again," laughed Jasper as we righted ourselves.

My mood was that high, even a fall couldn't bring me down, I laughed with him. We fell into each other as the laughter and standing up became too many things to do at once. Jasper gave up and fell backwards to the floor taking me back down with him. I lay on top of him and the laughter gradually subsided. It was only then our positions became apparent.

The worry about what the other person thought and where to put hands while getting up became almost overwhelming.

We managed to stand but the tension was so thick you could cut it. I saw a leaf still attached to it's branch stuck in his hair, without a conscious thought I reached to pick it out. At the same time his hand snaked toward my hair. I got hold of the leaf and gently pulled it out. Our eyes met, everything stopped for an instant. We both leaned in, never breaking eye contact. Our lips touched for the most gentle of kisses. Our eyes locked, watching and waiting for the other to pull away in disgust. It never happened, the kiss just got deeper.

Jasper cast his eyes down, "You have bought more peace and happiness to my life than I ever dreamt of. I have been drawn to you with an intensity since your change. I feel whole when I'm with you. I've never had that before. I..." he lifted his eyes to mine and asked nervously, "I care for you deeply. Do you think you could ever return my feelings?"

I lifted my hand to his face and gently stroked his jaw, "Can't you tell? I already do".

Hope and disbelief vied across his face, "Really?"

"Mmm," I grinned from ear to ear but I couldn't get words out as I was in too much of a hurry to get my lips to rejoin his in another kiss.

The kiss caused a building energy to surge through my body leaving me almost paralysed by its intensity.

He broke away from the kiss but kept his hand on my cheek, his thumb stroking my skin.

"One part of me wants to jump into this with you with both feet but another wants to take it slow so we can grow together. I believed Alice when we met, that we were meant to be together. I went in with blind faith on her terms and it stayed that way. I think we can be different, I want us to be different. I want to walk side by side with a partner not behind or below," he looked worried and hopeful at the same time.

I decided to stick to my earlier resolution, not to hide but to live, "I think I need to go slow. The only relationship I have ever been in was with Edward and you know how that turned out. I never felt like an equal with him, more a mannequin he could dress and control, he kept me on a pedestal away from the world. He constantly feared for my safety. He would only kiss me close mouthed to keep me from his teeth and venom," I raised my hand to my lips remembering Jasper's kiss, "I've never had a kiss like yours before."

"You have never gone further than you did with Edward, you are untouched?" he asked with a spark of hope in his eyes.

"No further. Edward was too prim and proper to do anything. There has been no one else. Well rephrase that, no one that attempted that didn't end up with a bruise or two from me," Jasper had fire in his eyes with the reminder of some of the attacks I had suffered, "I took care of them".

"You shouldn't have had to," he growled out.

"No, but at least I could defend myself. It's all well and good to have defenders but you need to be able to look after number one. I only had myself to rely on," I trailed off as memories of the loneliness and isolation swept through me.

"You're not alone any more," he said, his voice breaking with emotion. He pulled me into a hug.

As he stepped back from the hug he gently cupped my face with both hands, "You're stuck with me for as long as you can put up with me."

I smiled, "You're easy to put up with so I hope that I'm stuck with you for eternity!"

I noticed how high the sun was getting, "Come on, we better get a move on. I'm sure Peter has come up with a whole new range of tortures to try and figure out my shield".

Jasper rolled his eyes but I heard the amusement in his voice, "You've got Peter figured!"

We were joking and laughing as normal by the time we reached the house. Our physical contact was ever present but I think we both felt more natural about it.

Char and Peter were waiting, "You two are late this morning, what kept you?"

Jasper and I just looked at each other and burst into more laughter.

Peter shook his head at us, "Come on let's have a practise with that shield of yours."

That triggered another round of laughter, we were clinging to each other in an attempt to stay upright.

Char giggled at us as she walk past to catch up with Peter.

I was right about Peter. He had a range of quirky ideas to try and help me learn to control the shield.

His first idea was to try and extend my wall as far as possible. After a couple of attempts I reached nearly four metres. Holding it out was harder. I wasn't as reliable at keeping it held out, it inched back and if I lost focus it sprang back like and elastic band.

It was so hard not breaking out in giggles while the three of them tried to gauge the extent of the shield. It was like a comedy sketch. They felt around blindly trying to find the shield and any edges. They all got caught unawares at one point and walked face first into the wall. The comic value increased as they tried jumping over the shield, sometimes clearing but others times catching a foot or whole body then sliding down the shield.

Charlotte spotted that the dust they had churned up was stopped by the shield. It floated around the shield making it easier to work out its location and severely reducing the entertainment value for me.

Peter had me try and throw the shield from random body parts after became more comfortable with my hands. Feet were the next step but Peter, being Peter, wanted me to throw it from my nose, my ears, my head. I drew a line when his filthy mind started suggesting alternative body parts.

Jasper's suggestion helped save Peter from another Rosalie to the head. He wanted me to try and extend all of my shield. I concentrated and imagined my shield as a second skin that covered my entire body. I closed my eyes pushed it all out. I was inflating a balloon I just happened to be stood inside.

I was still inflating the bubble as I heard Jasper exclamation of shock, I felt his shock and concern hit me. I opened my eyes to see the three of them sliding backwards as they were pushed away by my expanding shield. I gave a last great big puff of imaginary air and the sudden increase in the volume shield knocked them all over.

The looks on their faces finished me off, I lost focus as I laughed. The laughter died as suddenly as it started, when my shield ricocheted back at me.

Ow, is an understatement or at least a really good reason to learn to control it better.

I practised a few more times before Char noticed the stones on the ground didn't get pushed away by the shield but even with her foot tight behind a stone she was still pushed away. A few more attempts and I pushed the stones too.

Peter had a few choice words to say about that.

Hey, I did what I was attempting to do. This time I tried to do what they wanted me to do in the first place – let one of them into my shield.

I was getting the hang of pushing out the shield but trying to push it out and let someone through at the same time just wasn't happening.

I pushed out a small bubble, a far as I can reach stretching my arms out in diameter. It is easier to hold than a larger version. Then I asked Jasper to come to me. I felt the pressure he exerted on the shield. I looked into his eyes and instead of a force on my shield I realised I could feel the calm and contentment of his contact. The shield softened and he walked through. His arms encircled me in a hug. Peter and Charlotte rush up shouting congratulations and ran 'splat' into the shield. I was split between guilt and humour.

Jasper whispered to me, "Try and let them in if you can."

I felt the force of attempted entry from each of them. Relaxing myself I tried to feel the friends I knew rather than a break in attempt!

Char stepped into the tiny bubble with Peter and instant behind her. They both threw their arms around me in a group hug as they shouted their congratulations.

Char and Peter broke from the hug and stepped back, only to hit the inside of the shield.

"Erm, Bells. Can you let us out now?" Peter asked amused.

I widened my eyes and looked panicked. I was pretty sure if nothing else just dropping my shield would let them out but this is Peter, I had the chance to wind him up if only for a few moments.

I did nothing, just concentrated on holding the shield. After a minute I let the shield close in slightly, just enough to force Peter and Charlotte to step back closer to Jasper and I.

Another minute and Peter was glaring at me, "Bella, now would be good."

I felt Char's friendship and relaxed letting Charlotte step out. I grinned at Peter and let him go.

It took a couple of attempts to let Jasper out. On one hand I wanted to control my shield on the other even getting this far made for a long day and I wanted the proximity of the one person that gave me relaxation. I didn't want to let him go.

As soon as I recognised I was sabotaging myself to try and keep him close, I was able to let him out of the shield.

"Enough. Please can we do something, anything that doesn't involve my shield for a bit," I had my palms pushed to my temples, I felt like I should have a pounding headache.

Jasper spoke hesitantly, "You reminded me this morning about how you had to defend yourself before. You were right, no matter how much protection you have around you, the best defence is being able to protect yourself. Do you want to learn some of the tricks we learnt in the war?"

Peter whipped round and looked hard at Jasper, "Are you sure?"

Jasper looked at me then back to Peter, "I can use the past for something positive. We learnt enough to escape alive," Jasper looked back at me and nodded, "I want to use that knowledge to make sure we can always protect ourselves. I'm not a monster for wanting to make sure my family," he met each of us with his eyes, "has the knowledge they need to defend themselves. Let's spar, properly," the last word echoed his determination.

Peter walked over and clapped Jasper on the back, "Let us spar, Brother".

Charlotte walked over and rubbed Jasper's arm. From the look on Jasper's face she spoke her piece with her emotions. I thought I could see hope, pride, love, respect and some determination on her face.

She grasped my hand and gave a squeeze as she whispered, "Thank you".

We fought hard. Pride was the only casualty as we all spent time in the dust. Knowing how much experience these three had on me I was extremely surprised when I was able to teach them some new moves. They had loads to teach me but it seems I'm a fast learner. All the self-defence I picked up over the years training must have helped me to learn new moves easily. The combinations of combatants varied. I fought each of them in turn. Then we took it in turns to wait out as one took on two. We each had a turn with all three against us.

I kept my shield reigned in for the most part so I could learn as many new techniques as I could.

I thought we would call it a day after we each took on all the others but Jasper had other ideas. The three of them came at me again but this time they also gave me precise instructions on tasks I had to do with my shield while I fought them. The tasks were simple in themselves; make a pile of stones in a specific area, push one person away while letting another in. Trying to maintain concentration on my shield while attempting to hold my own in a fight with such experienced fighters was a huge learning curve but I felt far more confident when we finished.

A vampire mind has the potential to easily cope with this sort of demand but it made me realise what a newborn I still am, the sheer volume of data and processing power available makes it easy to get lost in distractions. Practise really does help. I'd say make perfect but I don't want perfect, the illusion of perfect lost all it's appeal years ago.

Jasper eventually called a stop.

Peter went to talk to Jasper. Before Jasper turned to walk with him he looked over to me with question in his face.

I called to him, "I'm fine, I'll walk back with Char". He smiled and waved as they walked away.

Char had come to stand next to me, she looked like the words were fighting their way out but she was waiting until the men were out of earshot.

As soon as they had gone she flung her arms around me, "Thank you".

"What did I do?" I asked perplexed.

She sat on a patch of grass we hadn't scuffed up in our fights, "Jasper has had play fights in recent years. Emmett was the one that got him to participate. That is the first 'proper' training session he has done since the war. When he had the mock fights he never let loose, he let them beat him by holding back, never fighting to his full capacity. Peter and I saw who he could be even during the war. We saw the potential good in him, the strength, determination and leadership he had. His compassion and empathy for others came to the fore when we escaped but since you came into the picture he seems to have found a balance. To see him come out of his shell like this," she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "If I could cry, I would be sobbing in joy for the man I see emerging. We hoped for so long but to see him come out of the darkness, it's a miracle".

We stood and she hugged me again, "Let's catch them up," she said with a smile.

I ran beside her. We stopped on the edge of the yard. The men were stood talking by the back door, their eyes scanning the edge of the yard for our return. Even from here I could see Jasper's eyes light as he saw me. Char and I walked across the yard. I know I had a goofy grin plastered on my face getting broader the closer I got to him.

Char flung herself into Peter's arms. Peter scooped her up and turned for the door calling, "Night all," over his shoulder.

I laughed, "I suppose that's our cue to make ourselves scarce!"

Jasper sauntered over to me, cupping my face in his hand and stroking my cheek with his thumb before dropping his arm around me, "You'll not hear any complaints from me".

We took the time for me to hunt on the way back to my house.

It wasn't until I stepped into the house I realised how filthy I got today. We were both dusty, rumpled and ripped.

"Back down here after a clean up?" I asked.

He was reluctant to let go, "I suppose".

I smiled to see Jasper sat on the sofa waiting for me. I went and sat with him, snuggling close as his arm wrapped around me.

We started talking about the training today. Our conversations kept going off at tangents. We snuck kisses in here and there through the night but both pulled away when things started getting too hot. We had both been burnt in the past and agreed to take it slow.

I love how easy conversation is with Jasper. We never needed to force the conversation by playing games like twenty questions. I learnt more about Jasper in one night of random conversations than I did in all my time with Edward. Edward had thrown question after question at me but then assumed he knew everything about my past, he told me very little about himself, we discussed books but very few details on personal stuff. Jasper, on the other hand, loved telling stories about himself and listened attentively to any personal anecdotes of mine. I always felt inferior to Edward, a young child and he knew better. Jasper is older but I feel like an equal with him.


	19. Chapter 19

_Hi_

_This chapter took longer to get out as I try to get someone to read it to get rid of the worst of the silly mistakes and call me out on the stuff that happened in my head but I didn't put into words properly. (Their timetable doesn't always agree with a quick post!) If anyone wants to help me out, I'd really appreciate it._

_Thanks _

_:)-J  
_

**Chapter 19**

A new day bought more training.

I was able to reliably expand the shield, letting a single person in and out. It became second nature we practised so many times.

Peter asked if I could push out the walls with the shield expanded. With the shield expanded as far as I could, I couldn't push it out further to make the walls or projections. After a few trial runs I found reducing the shield allowed me create them.

It seems the shield has limit on how far it will stretch. The projections of the shield will extend furthest if I keep them narrow. I can send the projections slightly further today than yesterday but how much of that is familiarity with the process or the shield growing, is unknown as yet.

Using the protrusions in the inventive ways Peter keeps coming up with is like trying to pick up a needle with oven mitts on!

I still struggle to manipulating those protrusions but I think I'm starting to get a handle on it.

The physical aspect of the shield has the advantage that when it is in effect I told it feels like walking into a brick wall, a vampire impervious brick wall! If a mental aspect exists we have been unable to tell.

Jasper's power is active but I don't seem to be able to effect it in any way. He is always able to feel my emotions and use his power on me. Yesterday made me aware that where Jasper is concerned, my subconscious has different ideas and tends to take over.

My 'normal' shield defends against direct attacks from others. Peter was blocked from me but a leaf falling from the tree fluttered through. As soon as Peter realised I could get the shield to differentiate in that way he had me practising. It felt like a full tree later before I could reliably tweak the shield to stop or allow what I wanted reliably.

Peter had me spend a big portion of time exercising the protrusions. I am able to use them to pull a person into the 'bubble' of my extended shield. Once I was reliably able to pull any of the three of them in no matter how they tried to avoid it, Peter changed the rules yet again.

This time he had me expel someone from the shield. If they were at the edge or away from others I could easily flex the shield to expel them but that wasn't enough for Peter. I tried to create the equivalent of the protrusions but my head just wouldn't cooperate, the whole shield reduced instead.

I went back to basics remembering how it felt to fling the shield from my finger tips. This time I tried to imagine pinching the shield and dragging it towards me. Combining that with allowing someone through the shield I could catapult them out, as the shield bounced back into shape.

I may have added a bit of an extra push when I was practising with Peter. I was much more gentle with Jasper and Charlotte.

The days flowed by. Training and Peter daftness by day. As the days passed a more fun loving Jasper emerged. Jasper was starting to rival Peter for his weird and wacky ideas to help me learn my shield and to keep us all busy.

Nights were spent with Jasper, talking, playing cards or chess or just snuggling, kissing and enjoying each others company. The days and nights spent together helped us grow more comfortable with the other. Whether we sat in comfortable silence or in animated conversation each moment together bought us closer and built trust. Our intimacy never extended beyond fiery kisses and hugs. We both pulled away before we took the next step. I was obvious we both wanted to continue but we held back. The difference with Jasper is even when he pulled away from the intimacy he backed away gently, leaving me feeling desired and respected, with Edward he left me feeling unwanted and dirty when he pulled away.

Since the first training day, Jasper is much freer telling stories from his time with Maria. It was a dark time for him but he has been recalling some hilarious moments, some klutzy moments and plenty of instances of comradeship. I think he had buried the memories of the good and the bad, as the dark emotions overwhelmed him. He had cast himself as a monster during that time, not allowing himself to acknowledge the brighter times he experienced in between.

After another story filled night, morning found us sat cross-legged, hands linked, we faced each other as Jasper stories had became more and more animated. The joy and pleasure in his face as he spoke was almost childlike.

Dawn bought the disappointment that our alone time together was coming to an end for another night.

We stood in preparation to leave but Jasper was having none of it. He pulled me into a bone melting hug, "I never believed it was possible for me to experience these feelings for myself. This is so much more intense experiencing it first hand. Your feelings match mine, amplifying everything. Looking back I was living in black and white, you bought my world into colour".

I was reeling just from the hug, I wanted to agree with him but, in the words of Meatloaf, he 'took the words right out of my mouth'! The kiss had me lost in a Jasper daze. The rest of the world didn't start to come back until his lips left mine.

"If we don't leave this house now, while I can still tear myself away, we will be caught in a compromising position. As strongly as I crave moving forward with you, I think we are right to take it slow. We both need the reassurance that only comes with time and trust," his words were husky with want.

It felt like wading though molasses pulling apart from him and walking to the door. It got easier with each step. Jasper's arms had slipped from round me but we kept contact, grabbing each other's hand. He squeezed my hand, I think in recognition of mirrored feelings.

As we ran I thought about Jasper and myself, I realised we were both still healing from our pasts. We both wanted to be whole, healed and recovered, before we took the next physical step with each other.

We were still reeling from the intensity of our emotions by the time we reached Peter and Charlotte's house. They were still inside which was unusual. We knocked and walked in. Peter was just hanging up the phone.

Peter looked very contemplative, "That was Carlisle. He has had Aro on the phone half the night. It seems someone is picking off nomads and small covens that are loyal to the Volturi. Aro wanted to warn Carlisle to make others aware and to try and find out who could be involved. Alice has had no visions regarding any of the attacks as yet, they think they may be aware of her ability".

Peter glanced across at Charlotte, "Char and I are going to go for a more fulfilling feed. I have a bad feeling things are going to get worse".

"I don't need to tell you to watch each others back but I think we all need to be vigilant. When are you heading out?" Jasper asked authoritatively.

"Afternoon I think. I give us time to scope out the area before night falls," Peter responded in the same manner.

I spoke up, "I think I need to acclimatise to humans in case we need to move or travel. If this threat does impact us it would be safer for the four of us to stay together. My shield might come into its own".

Jasper looked surprised and concerned, "I know you are an unusual newborn but I think we would be better avoiding humans for a bit longer".

I laughed, "I agree. I knew this change was coming. I thought I would be alone. No-one to hold me back to test my blood lust so I came up with a few ideas so I didn't have to take any chances".

Jasper grinned at me, "Back to your house, I assume?"

Peter laughed, "This, I got to see!"

I rolled my eyes at them, "I get to be your entertainment yet again!"

I had a wicked thought, I pulled Charlotte back as the men went out the door. I whispered to her, " I don't suppose you have the vamp repellent handy?"

She just grinned and nodded.

We quickly caught them up and retraced our steps back to my house.

I took them down into my lab and showed them some of the back-up plans I have.

I have recordings of a few different heart beats. I had tried a few different methods and sensitivities to try and get an accurate representation.

I have scent samples from my research. I supplemented these with articles of clothing and soft fabrics that had been in contact with individuals. I even sent off for hair, sold for wigs, thinking it might hold a living scent for longer.

I found a couple of not so legitimate sources of blood, human and animal. I have a walk in freezer filled with supplies.

Amused and impressed were the main responses from the three of them.

They were all dubious about the palatability of frozen blood but could see having a supply as a tactical advantage if we were forced to go to ground.

I grabbed a range of the sealed samples and copies of the recordings for trying to play on a couple of different systems. I shoved another vamp spray in my pocket.

I plugged a copy of the heart beats into the system for the outdoor speakers, grabbing the controls on my way out.

I made my way into the yard, away from any collateral damage I might cause. I spread the samples around me to reduce the chance of me destroying them all in one foul swoop if I lost control.

The three of them spread out around me, ready to restrain me if necessary.

I pressed play. The squelching heart beat thrummed across the yard. My mouth filled with venom. I swallowed but made no other response.

I looked at Jasper. He nodded in approval.

I reached for the nearest bag with an item of clothing in it. The scent hit me like a wrecking ball as I broke the seal. I locked myself still and stopped breathing. The draw I felt to humans, when I was still human but changing, it was nothing compared to this.

I composed myself. I took a tiny sniff. My throat flared. I embraced the feeling, trying to learn it so I could learn to ignore it or suppress it, as I learned to do with the pain.

I spent the entire morning repeating the process with different scents. I was getting quicker in my restraint of my vampire reactions.

The sun was at its zenith when I noticed Peter disappear into the house. Coming to know Peter as I have over the last few weeks, I have learn one thing; If Peter is doing something without telling you, he is up to no good. My best guess is he decided to move my blood lust training to its next stage – blood.

I was just getting a handle on dealing with the scents on clothing combined with the heart beat that had been playing in the background all morning.

It was too soon. I wasn't ready. There is no stopping Peter when he is on a roll.

I pulled my version of pepper spray for vampires out of my back pocket. I caught Char's eye and let her see what I had in my hand. She frowned for an instant then pulled her spray out. I indicated towards the door, she turned slightly and nodded. If I need to use it on myself to stop me from going rabid for the blood, Peter is going to get a long overdue sample himself.

I held my breath as I saw the door opening. Peter came out of the house with a smug grin. He held a cup. His own eyes darkened in response to his cargo.

Jasper shot him an annoyed glare.

I took a tiny smell. Mistake!

My earlier reactions, strong as they were, were nothing to this. I just had the presence of mind to press the spray on my scent bottle before it fell to the ground as all my actions focused on acquiring the overwhelming scent.

As I surged forward I hit the mist of spray from my bottle that hung in the air in front of me. Shock from the burn in my eyes caused me to inhale. The searing pain followed down into my lungs. It was enough to knock me out of the blind stampede I was making to the blood. I returned to my senses but I didn't stop my charge. Anger propelled me forward now.

Charlotte had already reacted and given Peter a taste of this torture, straight in the face. He had a more concentrated hit than me.

I reached Peter. He was unaware of my presence as he choked on the spray. I kneed him hard then threw him across the yard with as much force as I could muster with both my newborn strength and my shield combined. The first tree he hit splinted and crashed down as he flew through it. The second tree stopped him but the trunk cracked and the tree fell in the process.

The cup containing the blood had clattered to the floor spilling it's contents.

Amazingly I was no longer drawn to it. The shock of the pain from the vamp repellent put such negative reactions to the smell in my mind. That smell now associated with the pain.

I hated he had taken it on himself to move my training forward when we all knew I still wasn't ready but it seems some good had come out of it.

Jasper skidded to a halt, "What the hell?"

I think he must have reacted to try and intercept me before I could reach Peter and the blood but what can I say, I'm fast!

Charlotte and I looked at each other then over at Peter who still hadn't got up. Peter was groaning and trying to extract himself from the remains of the tree while rubbing his eyes.

Charlotte saw Peter was relatively okay, then looked at the glare on Jasper's face, "I'll just go and get something to clear up this mess," she waved at the blood in explanation then quickly dived into the house. She came back and cleaned up, disappearing back inside to get rid of all the cleaning materials.

Peter was stumbling across to us. He took one look at Jasper and made to change direction to avoid his wrath.

"Don't even think it," Jasper snarled, "Get over here NOW."

Charlotte was pecking through the window to see if the coast was clear yet, Jasper spotted her, "You too".

We were all lined up when Jasper spoke again, "Peter first," he instructed.

"I thought she was ready for the next step, so I got some blood. It didn't turn out as I expected," Peter started.

Jasper cut him off with a growl, "You knew she wasn't ready yet. I will deal with you later".

He looked at me next, I stood tall. I wasn't going to let him intimidate me while he was in all out 'the Major' mode, "I realised Peter was up to no good. It was too late to stop him when I came to the conclusion. The spray that Charlotte and I used is one I developed. It is the one I used on Charlotte when they approached me that first day when we met. I promised Charlotte she could get Peter back for him sending her over to meet me. I reminded her to bring it with her this morning. I got a spare from my lab when I collected the other samples for this mornings test. I made the mistake of inhaling slightly after Peter came out. I managed to spray some of the scent before the blood lust completely clouded me over. When I hit the mist I had sprayed, the pain was enough to bring me back to my senses. Just before Peter came out I reminded Charlotte about the spray. She used it on Peter in retribution for his stupidity. I afraid my anger got the best of me, hence the rest of my actions towards Peter. On the up side, I now seem to associate the smell of human blood with the pain of the repellent".

Jasper looked at each of us, he sighed, "I think Peter deserved the treatment he received," he paused then spoke softly, "I believe that spray could be a good thing for us each to carry with a threat out there. But I suppose I need to test it myself to know how effective it is".

Peter flinched as Charlotte pulled the spray out and passed it to Jasper, "That bad?" he questioned.

Peter just nodded looking very hangdog.

I made a suggestion, "Spray it in the air in front of you then walk through it. It's not as intense that way but you will still get a good idea of its effectiveness".

He nodded then sprayed, we all stepped back as he stepped forward into the mist.

He raised his hand to cover his mouth then choked, "Wow, this stuff is nasty. How much more do you have?"

I grabbed his hands pulling them from his face, "Don't rub, it just intensifies the pain".

Peter grumbled, "Someone could have mentioned that to me," as he stopped rubbing his own eyes.

We all laughed.

Through the laughter I answered, "I have half a dozen in the lab. I can produce as many as you want, if you think we need more".

He thought for a moment, "Can you get your shield to repel this stuff but still work against everything else as effectively?"

I scrunched my face in repulsion at the thought of being inflicted to more spray as I learn to block it, "Yes, with practice".

You'll never guess what Jasper had us practising next. He used the practise as Peter's punishment. I had to shield Peter as Jasper sprayed him in the face.

I had some practice at choosing what came through but this was harder. Fortunately for Peter, I got it after only a couple of attempts.

Jasper was finally happy. Peter immediately took the chance to escape claiming it was time to set off on their extended hunt. They both took a bottle of the spray with them, just in case.

Charlotte rushed over to give me a hug before the left, "We should be back in a couple of days depending on pickings. You two stay vigilant too".

Peter was still in a strop but he smiled and waved as they set off.

Jasper sighed then laughed, "You did good today. Peter can't help himself sometimes," his smile was distant then it fell.

His eyes widened and in a worried voice he asked, "I didn't scare you this afternoon, did I? I went off all 'the Major' on you, I'm so sorry,"

I reached and stroked his arm to reassure him, "Think back, what was I feeling?"

He frowned quickly then his face cleared, "Determination and pride. A bit of embarrassment when you admitted to breathing in when he came out and then attacking Peter in anger, but no fear. But,"

I smiled at him, "I had nothing to fear. The leader in you came out to take control, to understand what had happened. It's a good thing. You ensured we were all safe. You gathered intelligence. Only after you gained a proper understanding of events did you use that knowledge in our favour and react to events".

Even a week ago he would have had a self-loathing period before coming around. This time he listened and took it in the light I explained it. I could see him straightening up, happy with himself.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"I think I'd do with a hunt, will you accompany me?" he asked with a smile.

I was so happy with his reactions, I threw my arms around him and said a very heartfelt, "I would be honoured".

When we hunted, one kept our wits about us when the other turned themselves over to the hunt. We kept a constant awareness for any alien scents but the area was clean.

We fell into our normal night time routine. Morning had Jasper testing my reaction to different blood samples. Venom fills my mouth each time but the memory of the pain from the vampire pepper spray is enough each time to stop the beast taking control.

We ran the perimeter for both security and something to do. It was so freeing just to run.

Another evening found us sat playing backgammon, while talking and laughing.

We both went to high alert hearing a noise outside. I grabbed the spray passing one to Jasper.

A knock on the door actually came as a slight relief.

Peter called out, "It's us, we have a friend with us."

The door opened slowly and three battle shaken vampires entered the room. The third unknown vampire entered in a very submissive pose.

I took a quick inventory. They all had bright red eyes denoting a recent feed. They all appeared to be unscathed, shaken but no major damage. I could smell the remains of the vamp spray faintly on their clothes.

Peter and Charlotte sat close together seeking comfort and refuge in each other. The newcomer sat on the floor at their feet with his head bowed. He kept his eyes down but I was aware he had taken in all the details of us and the room.

I stood at Jasper's side, not allowing Jasper to take point. He wants an equal, well he better get used to putting up with one! Our hands were linked, I'm not sure who took who's hand but when we are stood together our hands seem to link without us even trying. He squeezed my hand and sent me a smile in emotions.

The newcomer briefly showed shock when I stepped next to Jasper but he quickly lowered himself further.

Jasper, or should I say 'the Major' spoke with authority, "Peter, Report".

I wanted to laugh at the similarity of the situation when Jasper walk in on me that first day but now was not the time. Jasper must have felt the surge of amusement as he squeezed my hand but otherwise his posture remained unchanged. The lines between 'the Major' and Jasper were blurring more and more, as he allows his two personalities to become one.

Peter was in military mode too, "We had successfully completed our hunt and were returning to base. We crossed a small pack of strange scents and went to investigate. The pack acquired this man as their target. They tried to aggressively recruit him to join an attack against the Volturi. He declined giving his reason as wanting to avoid confrontation. They attacked him while telling him join or die. He held his own well but could make no head way. We went to assist. I was unable to learn more from any of the members of the pack. They were merely gun fodder. Garrett here had hear rumours and has been dodging others for the last few weeks. We offered refuge".

Jasper made a small hand movement, Peter nodded. Jasper relaxed minutely.

Jasper looked at Garrett, "Garrett?"

He raised his eyes to look at us properly. I could see from his scars he was a fighter too. He showed no surprise at Jasper's scars, as if he expected them. He did look shocked when he saw me. He dropped his eyes as he started to talk. He confirmed his side of Peter's story, giving thanks to them for their assistance. He gave a brief history of himself; changed in the revolutionary war, dragged into the edge of a few skirmishes and escaping from the Southern wars. Alone since.

He paused and mentioned hearing of golden eyes but never believing, he asked if we knew of the Cullen's.

Jasper stayed on alert throughout his story, he made no indication either way about knowing the Cullen's. When Garrett finished Jasper waited a moment then held out his hand in greeting, "Pleased to meet you Garrett. I'm Jasper, this is Bella and your rescuers are Peter and Charlotte. Would you like to take a seat, the chairs are far more comfortable than the floor," he finished with a smile.

Garrett stood and shook his hand, "I'm honoured to meet you. I believe I have heard of you. Are you 'the Major'?"

Jasper gave a terse nod, "I was".

He glanced back at me, "Please forgive my rudeness Bella. I must admit I am shocked to see someone free of scars be allowed to stand as an equal to 'the Major'".

Jasper smiled and wrapped his arm around my waist, "She won't allow it otherwise".

Garrett frowned in confusion.

Peter let out a laugh, "After the times she has put me in my place, it's the safer option not to cross her. Did you notice the damage to the trees in the yard?"

Garrett nodded.

"It's where she threw me before we left," Peter told him grinning from ear to ear.

"You know you deserved it," I scowled at Peter.

"You didn't need to knee me before you threw me," he said with a small scowl.

Garrett looked even more confused with worry rising.

Charlotte saw the state poor Garrett was in, "There is nothing to worry about, it just Bella is a newborn and doesn't fit the normal mold very well. She won't cause any harm to anyone unless you cross her or her family," she smiled at me, "Peter did deserve that and more. He should know better, he tried wrestling with her hours after her change and she pinned him but he won't learn," she stuck her tongue out at Peter.

Peter scowled back at her then laughed, "She makes life interesting!"

"Hello, in the room, here!" grr, I hated being talked about like that.

Charlotte and Peter laughed, "Let's talk more about tonight's attack we can fill you in on the strangeness that is Bella later." She stuck her tongue out at me and everyone laughed, Garrett nervously joining in slightly after everyone else.

We talked through the night. Garrett had heard no more than had been confirmed by the attack on him.

Peter and Charlotte had used the vamp spray to great effect. The shock value had given the upper hand straight away. Peter went off on television related tangent wanting a spiderman web style shooter for the vamp spray. I promised to come up with a hands-free version for him.

By the end of the night we had come to an agreement. While none of us wanted to fight, we would take action if things continued to escalate. I knew little of the Volturi. The others had a grudging respect for them, a necessary evil to keep our kind safe.

I tried to withhold judgement about Garrett but the trust I felt for him only grew as the night progressed.

They told him a condensed version of my history, the version that Eleazar was getting.

He remained nervous of me, "I have met many newborns in my time and you are nothing like any newborn I have ever heard of".

Peter responded, "When you entered this house, what did you smell?"

Garrett frowned, "Vampire, obviously".

Peter nodded, "But what else, that has been here in the last month?"

Garrett breathed in, "Human, with a similar scent to Bel".

I smiled, "Yes, and that would be me".

I could see the change in his face as the doubt was replaced by acceptance.

"Wow, you are really a newborn. Do your eyes really change that fast to gold with an animal diet?" he asked without any doubt left in his voice.

Jasper answered, "For an older vampire it can take months for the human blood to leave your system after starting on an animal diet depending on the species, quantity and frequency of your feeds. A newborn should have the remains of their human blood for most of the first year but Bella was changing for so long, nearly six years. She isn't what anyone can call normal. The pain she was in, I'm just amazed she survived so long".

Garrett bowed his head, "Bel, I apologise. You have been through so much. I found your story hard to believe. You are an amazing individual. I hope you can forgive my initial scepticism".

It was my turn to apologise, "My story is involved. We have told you the truth as far as it goes. There are many details that have been withheld but it is for the safety of others".

Garrett nodded thoughtfully but asked no further questions.

All it took was a another hand movement from Jasper and nods from Peter and Charlotte. Jasper whispered to me. I needed make no response as I concentrated on my feelings towards Garrett to give my answer.

That's how the five of us ended up training hard with first light. Garrett had extra years on the others but they had more years in combat. His style was different but effective. We each learnt something new and incorporated it into our repertoire.

To say Garrett was impressed with my shield would be an understatement. Much to Peter's amusement he offered to take a hit from the vamp spray. He fit in really well with our little group. Easy going, game for almost anything but more than able to hold his own.

I had a good comfort level with Garrett. I was as comfortable with him as I am with Peter but in a different way. Peter is far more of a goof while Garrett is more serious but they both have a grab life with both hands attitude. Jasper is still in a different league altogether, I may be at ease with the other two but with Jasper I'm uneasy in his absence. Jasper's fun loving side rears it head so frequently now it's hard to believe it wasn't always there.

During one of the early training sessions, Garrett pointed out the weakness of allowing people into my shield. It makes me vulnerable.

Garrett helped me find a solution. He encouraged me to explain to him how I visualise the shield works. I told how it felt making the first barrier using what I now visualise as a protrusion. I told how I push an imaginary skin away into a bubble around me, forcing it towards those I want to protect. I laughed when I explained the twang if I let go of the shield letting it return too quickly.

"So you think of it as an inflatable ball that you can stretch to the shape you want but it bounces back if you let go," he confirmed.

"I can poke protrusions out or pinch bits into the bubble," I had thrown him out a couple of times and held him in a pinch before flinging him out.

He confirmed some details, "The pinch is when you throw us out?"

I nodded.

"How long can you hold someone in the pinch? Can you put yourself in a pinch?" he asked.

I shrugged, "Shall we find out?"

Garrett is game for almost anything. He was a willing test subject. I found I can hold him immobile in a pinch for as long as I can concentrate.

I tried and tried but couldn't push the shield off myself to put me in a pinch.

Garrett stood and thought. He ran in the house and came out holding a thin towel. He got a stone and dropped it on the towel then pulled the edges together to produce a makeshift bag. He held it closed with one hand. The stone weighed the towel down at the bottom.

"Think of this towel as your shield. You are the stone," he explained. He used he finger and thumb to make a circle. He let the stone encased in material drop through. Then he tightened his finger and thumb and lifted his hand making a little pocket inside the main bubble.

My eyes widened, "That I think I can do that."

Jasper had remained impartial until now. He came and grasped my shoulders, his eyes sparkling with hope, "Can you try?"

The first time took a bit of concentration but I did it.

I had both Jasper and Garrett inside the shield. The shield conforms to move with me so I can fight them but they just contacted with the shield if they tried to hit me. They were able to fight each other without any problem.

Using the same trick I enclosed them in a layer of shield.

"Wow, this means I can keep us all safe in a fight if I can keep up my concentration," I was amazed.

The size I can expand the shield to is a limit, I can only extend about five metres away from me in all directions. The disadvantage of the bubble within a bubble is it keeps us all within close proximity. I can protect a single person further away. Think of a round flexible bubble, it will stretch out into a long sausage shape but it gets narrower as it gets longer.

Jasper stayed close by when I spent time with Garrett initially but he relaxed considerably after that training session. He soon became nearly as relaxed with me spending time with Garrett as he was when I was with Peter. He seemed even more at ease when I was with Charlotte. I can tell he is most content while in contact with me, as soon as we come into contact a small soft smile graces his face.

Jasper and I's night time routine was no longer as comfortable as it had been. Garrett no more wanted to spend time with Peter and Charlotte at night than we did.

Peter spent some time on the phone trying to glean any information from his network of contacts. Char joined us while he was on the phone. Those times made the transitions with a new face easier all round as the four of us chatted hours away.

When it was just the three of us, Garrett was willing to give us privacy but we persuaded him it was unnecessary. It was an awkward conversation, he presumed we were mates. Jasper didn't deny anything, he just explained that I was still a newborn and we both had histories to overcome. Since we have nothing but time, we wanted to allow things to grow slowly hoping to build a stronger foundation than either of us had in the past.

Garrett joined us for part of the night but tended to give us space by going to read in a different room for a few hours.

We used that private time to enjoy our physical contact but we tried to keep our intimacy limited to soft kisses with so little privacy. We did get carried away but reigned back with sighs.

We slipped easily into the new routine.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Two days before we were expecting the Cullen's to arrive back with us, we received a phone call.

Carlisle had two main pieces of news. He had spoken to Eleazar who had found out that little was known about human pets apart from if they were left they died a painful death that dragged out for about a month. Eleazar had only heard the pain they suffered was worse than the burn of the change. He had never heard of anyone surviving longer than that.

The other news was from Aro. The attacks against vampires had increased. Larger covens were now being targeted and the guard had been attacked. They had lost guard members. They were calling all allies to seek refuge in Volterra for their own safety. Carlisle surmised Aro wanted to bulk their own numbers, the loss of some guard members had them shaken. Carlisle had agreed to travel to Volterra once he heard Edward was part of the guard that had suffered attack. The Denali's were travelling with them. They had travelled to join the Cullen's after hearing Aro's first warnings and finding unknown vampire scents crossing their territory.

Carlisle tried to encourage us to go to Volterra but Jasper had declined using my newborn status as a reason to delay travelling.

We had all sat listening in to Jasper's conversation with Carlisle.

The mood was sombre but determined.

Peter broke the silence after Jasper hung up, "We have to act".

Jasper nodded, "Yes, but I'm not going over there to line up for target practice".

"Can we pick off the recruiters and maybe disrupt them and feed them some false information to get them fighting between themselves?" I don't know much but I would prefer the job of sniper to that of target, "With my shield and your fighting skills I think we may just give them a run for their money".

Malicious smiles spread through the room. Peter's eyes were dancing, "Ooh, I love the way that diabolical mind of yours works".

The others nodded their agreement.

The Major came out to play as they discussed tactics and strategies. They talked backwards and forwards only coming to the conclusion there was very little we could plan until we got more information. The only thing decided was we would lock down the houses and leave as soon as we could.

Jasper and I went to lock up my house while Peter and Charlotte took care of theirs. Garrett went to move all the vehicles into garages and lock those down.

My first job was to update Charlie and the wolves on the latest news regarding the threat and what we were doing about it. I knew Charlie wouldn't like me putting myself at the front line but I knew he would grudgingly agree that a proactive approach is better than hiding our heads in the sand. He will want me safe but in this case I think we are safer acting rather than hiding.

Jasper had been busy, anticipating possible outcomes. He had ordered back up passports and paperwork for us all. Garrett and I had watched over his shoulder to ensure we were both able to create our own if needed.

I gained a brother, Garrett Wolfe. We looked sufficiently alike to pass as siblings, his hair is a few shades lighter than mine but he has a look of Charlie about him. That may be one of the reasons I took to him so easily. Jasper and Peter were Whitlock brothers, with Charlotte as Peter's wife. Jasper had a couple of passports missing only photos. Nothing like being prepared.

We packed light, a single change of clothes, cash, credit cards, passport and mobile phone with wind up chargers, solar chargers don't suit vampires that need to hide from the sun! The only extra thing I added was the vampire pepper spray and a dry version I thought might travel better. I came up with a 'web shooter' version. It straps to the wrist with a button on the back of the thumb. It is easy to use one handed but doesn't get in the way when fighting. Oh, and lighters, plenty of lighters. The load was split evenly so if any bags got mislaid en-route we would still have resources.

The plan of action was simple. Many of Peter's contacts were only available to contact by word of mouth. We were going to head for last known locations to warn any that may still be unaware of current events or find any new leads they may have. Nomads aren't known for their sedentary lifestyles so we expected to cover considerable ground. We intended staying alert and follow up any scent trails we cross.

Jasper pulled me into a hug as we reached the door ready to leave. Cupping my face in both hands he tilted my face to his. He gave me a tender kiss then broke away, "We won't have much time for ourselves while we are travelling. I want to move forward with you but I think it will have to wait until this is over. Are you... can you..?"

I knew what he wanted to ask, would we be okay, so I cut him off, "As long as we are together I think we can cope with anything. I want to be with you. Our time will come".

He closed his eyes and breathed me in as he hugged me even closer.

This house had only been my home for a few short months but so much had changed for the better in that time. I took one last look back at the house with a huge sense of loss and longing. Jasper hugged me closer, "We will be back. We will make more good memories in that house".

I nodded and hugged him tighter before turning to catch up with the others.

Running over new territory opened the senses. It made it much easier to stay at full alert but all the new inputs became overwhelming if I let them.

I found I was much calmer and at ease when I ran with Jasper. When I was running alone or with one of the others I found it harder to deal with all the new stimuli.

The others were amused to point out that Jasper put out waves of discontent and unease when he ran alone but calm when we ran together. I didn't feel so bad about my weakness after that.

We ran in a diamond formation. I messed things up by having to run with Jasper regardless of if he ran at the front or back. Peter and Jasper alternated front and back. Charlotte and Garrett took the sides.

Night and day now just changed our levels of awareness. During the day we had to avoid the sun and humans. We were okay in wildness areas but we were increasingly in areas of higher human populations in an effort to find Peter's acquaintances, they tend to stay close to their food source. We usually hid out in empty houses, barns or in wooded areas. The worst hiding place was having to bury ourselves in the sandy earth. All the senses impaired by the sand.

I dug myself in right next to Jasper. I held his hand but the sandy soil crushing my face and body, preventing me from breathing and impairing my senses had my panic building. Even Jasper pushing waves of calm at me and his very presence were insufficient to stop the bubbling hysteria. I lost it and started trying to claw my way out. Jasper pulled me towards him. My shield burst out, pushing the earth from myself and Jasper. Jasper wrapped himself around me, cooing and soothing me as he stroked my hair. Jasper and space were enough to bring me back from the brink.

The days hiding from the sun underground became much more pleasant in my mini bunker. We still hid in silence listening and feeling for any vibrations of intruders to the vicinity.

Peter staying true to form came up with some off the wall ideas. He wanted me to create a periscope with the shield so we could keep watch but no amount of attempts on my behalf could create any more than a tube which gave a view of the sky. The tube had a use, it brought fresh air into our underground space. We don't need to breathe but with the fresh air comes any scents or odours in the air. Our enhanced sense of smell became our best early warning of encroaching threats.

At night we were more likely to run in to other vampires. The further south we travelled the more vampires live up to their reputation of being creatures of the night.

We ran in formation far enough apart that if we came across anyone they assumed we were alone or just two of us. We come across less threatening that way. If they were trying to recruit they were cockier if they thought they had the advantage of numbers. According to the others, vampires were conspicuous by their absence. Many must have gone to ground, been taken out or recruited.

We had little time for conversation. We had some whispered conversations as we hid from the sun but in an effort to remain aware and undetected we tended to stay silent so we could hear any potential threat.

Peter left written requests in drop off points to request meetings with all his different contacts. We spent a few weeks just running in circles on the off chance one of them picking up their post!

While keeping a discrete distance as we waited for Peter to deliver yet another message, Jasper taught the rest of us hand signals and other ways we could communicate between ourselves if we were uncertain about the trustworthiness of company. I recognised the one he had used when we met Garrett. Garrett told us of other signals he had seen used over his long life. The more we knew the less likely to get caught out.

Jasper and I were both used to seeing the signs of hidden conversations after dealing with a mind reader but many of the clues were down to knowledge of the individuals.

We were discussing these small signs when Garrett asked, "It sounds like you are talking about two vampires with powers. What powers did they have?"

Jasper responded, "Edward is a mind reader. Alice a seer. Alice's visions are dependant on decisions."

"Bel, How do you know them?" Garrett asked.

I shot Jasper a concerned look as he did the same to me.

That opened a potential can of worms when we realised Belinda shouldn't have known the other two Cullen's. We had made no mention of them as Cullen's but Garrett realised I knew Jasper, Edward and Alice as a human.

If Garrett was travelling with us, things like this were likely to come up more often. I think Jasper must have read my fluctuating emotions and guessed my decision.

"The story we told you of my past is the truth as far as it goes. I am withholding details of my past for good reason. Belinda is the alias I was living under when Peter and Charlotte came across me in the woods. These three all know of my past but others outside the family only know the story we told you. If the wrong people find out all the details it would put the safety of at least two communities in jeopardy.

Edward and Alice are with the Volturi now. I knew them before but I would appreciate that remaining between us".

Garrett's eyes widened as he put the pieces together but he asked no more questions. Jasper informed me later he was understanding and appreciative that we remained honest with him even without full disclosure.

The conversation changed direction. Garrett spent time giving me Vampire 101 from his perspective.

"Bel, how much do you know about vampires?" Garrett asked me.

I thought for a moment about how to answer but not give any more away, "I suppose I know a basic overview about the advantages and disadvantages of vampires over humans but I learned of the exceptions not the rule".

Garrett looked like he expected an answer like that, "Nomads tend to be loners. They may run in groups of two or three but they rarely stay together for more than a couple of decades. True mated vampires are rare but never even mess with vampire couples. With the loss of a partner they can go to extreme measures to get revenge."

I snorted with wry laughter, Garrett shot me a sharp look but with a shake of my head I let him know I wasn't going to explain.

He continued, "Covens tend to stay within a territory. They usually comprise of between three and five vampires. The only two groups known today to successfully manage a greater number of members in peace are the Volturi and the Cullen's. It is widely believed it is only Chelsea's power for creating bonds is the reason the Volturi can operate in the way it currently does".

Jasper filled Garrett in on the Cullen's, "The diet of animal blood allowed the Cullen's to live the lifestyle they maintained, the animal blood seems to bring out the human side rather than the more animalistic tendencies of our vampire side. The Cullen's live as a family not a coven".

Garrett took the expected conclusion, he looked at Jasper, "You lived with the Cullen's, I'm assuming Edward and Alice were part of the coven".

Jasper nodded and Garrett continued, "Why the split?"

Jasper glanced at me only for an instant but Garrett noticed, "A contested individual decision with unexpected and far reaching consequences. I ended up here and Edward and Alice ended up in Volturi".

Jasper's tone stopped any more of that line of questions.

Garrett glanced back at me but he took the hint and went back to his version of vampire 101, "Active powers are the exception not the rule. I believe the Volturi can be quite determined when it comes to getting vampires with powers to join them." I could see the question floating in his head but he didn't push to know more about why three vampires with powers had left the coven.

Peter's return put an end to that conversation.

Thinking about Garrett's comment about powers, having met the Cullen's I mistakenly believed powers were quite common. It made me realise how much more the Cullen's were at risk now they no longer had any active powers among them. I better understood Carlisle's decision to accept Volturi protection.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N Sorry it's taken so long to post this chapter - the site took a disliking to me. It's taken 8 days for it to play nicely! I just hope it stays on good behaviour! :)-J

Chapter 22

We came across quite a few groups of recruiters during our travels. They tended to be in packs of four or five.

Each of the confrontations I replayed in my head, trying to see what we could have done to reduce the risk to us. The vamp pepper spray gave us a shock value of initial advantage. It came in most useful for the one that had been captured to delay long enough for the rest of us to arrive on the scene. We stay on the side lines to allow the group to show their true colours. The micro seconds it took us to act could have been lethal if not for the spray. Peter, Charlotte and Garrett had all added to their collection of scars. I felt guilty for not protecting them. Jasper was spared more scars as he was always with me and so inside my shield.

I wished I was able to reach them with the shield but I have to keep my distance to allow the confrontation to play out. I wished I didn't have to let the attackers into the shield to fight with them. I had the start of an idea. Peter and Char were off delivering messages again. We were close enough in the event of emergency but far enough not to scare his friends with all our scents.

I told Jasper and Garrett where my thoughts had taken me and they were more than willing to be guinea pigs for my latest ideas.

I wrapped my shield around Jasper. This time, rather than a bubble big enough for us both, I tried to fit the shield close to our bodies. I started with the normal bubble over us then I dragged in the shield closer and closer until I could feel it skin tight on both of us. It was like using a vacuum for sucking the air out of those clothes storage bags. In tightening the shield the corridor between us reduced to nothing more than a thin cord. I worried about how narrow the connection was but it felt comfortable and easy to hold. I didn't have the feeling it would snap back in my face with the least provocation. I found it much easier to hold and I can give more distance between us than I could with the bubble. Jasper went through a quick exercise routine confirming he could move unencumbered.

Stage one complete for my idea, the next bit would give us a crucial edge if I can get it to work as I hoped.

I wanted to allow Jasper's teeth through the shield. With Garrett's bubble inside the bubble idea we are able to fight but removing heads is much easier if you can bite the neck to facilitate the tear. I practised a few times until I was sure his teeth were free but the rest of him stayed safely protected.

It worked. I can keep Jasper safe inside my shield but he could fight unencumbered, using all the weapons at his disposal.

I can protect Jasper with ease. I am more comfortable with Jasper and my need to keep him close and safe makes shielding him natural. It took more work to cover others in the fitted shield. A few attempts later I covered Garrett with a close shield. I sent out a protrusion this time letting him in then moulding the shield to him.

They started fighting but still held back not completely trusting the shield. I tightened the shield until they could feel a slight pressure from it. Garrett nicknamed it his armour.

Jasper and Garrett started a new training session that got more and more intense as the awareness of the armour gave them the confidence to fight all out without harming or even hurting each other.

They were still going at it when Peter and Charlotte came back. Peter came in panicked at the ferocity of the fighting but he relaxed when he saw me laid on my back, propped on my elbows watching them.

It was amusing seeing the change Jasper and Garrett as they realised their audience had grown. Jasper spotted them first, he stopped and shouted,"Hello".

Jasper's posture was relaxed even as Garrett used the opening to attack again. Jasper didn't blink an eye as Garrett took his legs from under him.

Garrett looked over then and laughingly called over, "Oh, you're back. Want to join the fun?"

Jasper tuned the tables as Garrett was talking and flipped him into a prone position.

Peter's face at their lack of concern for their own welfare had the three of us laughing at him. Charlotte spent more time watching me, it was her that pointed out the obvious to Peter, "I think Bella has found a new way to use her shield?"

I just nodded.

The new method of shielding gives the advantage of greater distance between us. I can protect the others at a greater range which became invaluable for allowing just one or two of us to talk with the unknown groups to ensure their intent. Every group we encountered talked before committing to an attack. We never needed to attack first.

My shield was able to keep everyone safe until we could all close in.

The links between the shield I feared would be a problem but it turns out they work really well as trip wires. I keep the link at ground level unless it can help.

We are a powerful force, four battle hardened warriors and a shield. Even without me I think those four would easily be able to hold their own. It's a relief to us all that we can fight without gaining any additional scars though!

Our routine remained. We travelled while we had the cover of darkness or cloud cover. We had destinations in mind but Peter or I, usually both at the same time would get the feeling we needed to head in a different direction. Following the gut feeling worked for us. Peter ran into his friends. He introduced us to most of them but some were too skittish. Peter fed us ever bit of intel he gleaned.

Trees with good vistas are favoured hideouts but we used my 'bunker' to hide from the sun rather than barns or other empty structures. All the men were more comfortable hiding in plain sight, it gave us the strategic advantage according to them. Char and I pleaded for the occasional empty house or a motel stop just for a shower but the combination of washing the smell of nature off us, exposing our natural scents more potently and staying in enclosed boxes surrounded by humanity got vetoed every time.

The sparkle is a huge give away when trying to move stealthily. The need for secrecy was more hiding from other vampires than from humans in our current circumstances.

The new way of using my shield worked flawlessly, not even a scratch never mind a bite to any of us in our confrontations. It's easy to get cocky, you know the saying about don't count your chickens until they've hatched, well, we found our weakness sooner than we hoped.

It knocked us out of our stride when Garrett and Charlotte each got ensnared by different packs of recruiters at the same time.

Peter and Jasper had a rapid discussion on tactics. A very annoyed Jasper was forced to agree with Peter that the best plan of attack was me going to shield Garrett while they went to take out the group that was holding Charlotte. Jasper did not want to separate from me.

I did not want to let go of Jasper but I knew it was the most likely hope to get all of us out alive. I felt great reluctance when I sided with Peter. It went against every fibre of my being but I knew logically it gave us the best chance of a favourable outcome.

Jasper and Peter ran towards Charlotte. With a heavy heart I tore myself away from Jasper and set off to close in on Garrett. Jasper took a last longing look over his shoulder before catching up with Peter.

I had to circle slightly to keep out of sight and scent range but close enough to cover Garrett with the shield. I have tried to use my shield to block scent but I'm still not reliable enough to put confidence in that ability. I made sure I let him feel the shield extend over him so he knew he was covered. I gave a tightening signal on the shield to let him know we weren't in place yet so keep them talking longer.

Moments later sounds of the battle of the other group carried over to this group. They had a rapid discussion then the leader, a man with only half an ear, yelled at Garrett to run with them. I flicked the shield over him in a sign of agreement. All we can do is agree and go with the flow until the others can join us or we can join them.

The one with half an ear, that verbally instructed Garrett, took the lead with the biggest vampire in the group. The other two each placed a hand Garrett's arms as he ran. I ran downwind as silently as I can manage. I wanted to try and get in range of the others as soon as possible but keep Garrett covered.

They came into sight. I pushed my shield as hard as I could.

The men were just holding their own but Charlotte was restrained by two vampires. Jasper was fighting hard with one, the remains of another close to his feet. Peter was gaining the upper hand against another with a head rolling over to his right. The front two vampires from the group that accosted Garrett split to help against Jasper and Peter.

I smiled as I felt the shield encase Jasper then Charlotte. I finally felt my shield close over Peter, he was the furthest from me. As soon as I had everyone safe I flexed the shield around Charlotte forcing her captors to release her. Our team was together and armoured. The opposition didn't stand a chance!

Peter and Jasper no longer had to defend themselves since the shield was protecting them. They could put all their energy into attacking and dismembering the opposition.

Garrett took out the two that restrained him, the first one lost his head before he even had the chance to turn to start fighting. The second tried to defend himself but against the shield it was ineffective. I knew Jasper was safe inside my shield now but I didn't know how Charlotte had faired in her time alone so I went straight to Charlotte. We made quick work between us of the two that held her. Peter took out the one he had been fighting. Garrett helped him with the huge guy. The fighter of the first group had scrapped well dodging the kill strikes from Jasper but he was weakening quickly with venom loss from the non-fatal hits Jasper delivered. As soon as Jasper felt my shield wrap around him he went for all out attack finishing his opponent quickly. Half ear had approached hoping to take Jasper from behind but as he saw Jasper rip the other vampire to shreds he turned tail and ran.

We had finished off the remains of the two teams so I could safely remove my shield from our side and use the protrusion to drag half ear back. Fear was evident on his face.

We managed to question him. We hit pay dirt. Half ear must have survived by the adage 'if you fight and run away you live to fight anther day', he wasn't fast enough today. He grudgingly told us the location of one of their bases. Jasper's gift can be very persuasive, a very effective truth serum but not at all pleasant for the recipient.

We put him out of his misery and lit the fire.

Garrett took over feeding the fire, checking he found all the discarded body parts.

Peter and Charlotte were in there own little world as the each confirmed the other was unscathed.

Jasper made a beeline for me. He had the same intensity as Peter and Charlotte in checking I was okay, "I hated leaving you. It went against everything my heart told me is right. My head knew it was the correct tactical response but I never want to have to do that again".

"It felt like I was ripping myself in half knowing you were running into a fight and I couldn't come to protect you," I had felt exactly the same as he described.

He convinced himself I was unharmed and threw his arms around me. Pulling me into a tight hug.

I could feel him relaxing as he held me, his close presence melted the tension out of me.

He spoke softly into my hair, "I never thought that anyone could exist that I could trust to protect me. Even without your shield you protect me with your trust and belief in me. What did I ever do to get so lucky?"

I whispered into his chest, "I'm the lucky one. You saved me. You respect me. You protect me without suffocating me. You hold me together just with your presence. I feel whole rather than the broken person I was before you came back into my life. Can you feel what you mean to me? Words don't seem big enough to express how strongly I feel for you".

"You do exactly the same for me," he breathed as he squeezed me into a tight hug, as though he never wanted to let me go.

We stayed like that until Garrett called to confirm the fire was dying down.

Peter and Charlotte came over. Jasper didn't let me go so they gave me half hugs, thanking me for saving them. The spray had evened the odds allowing Peter and Jasper to take their first opponents out before they had chance to recover. I tried to downplay my role by claiming a team effort but they wouldn't have it.

Garrett waited for Peter and Charlotte then he came to give me a hug. I saw him look at Jasper first to get permission, which amused me.

Garrett stepped back and waited for me to look him in the eye, "For the two of you to split up to save Char and I is something I could never have believed possible for Vampire mates to do. We have all seen how hard it is for the two of you just running without contact with each other. With Jasper's past, that he can trust Peter and I enough to let us near you shows to me how much he respects both you and us. You a newborn, for you to control your newborn impulses so completely to split up and fight the way you did. To do what you did for us. That you care enough for us to do that … I have spent centuries alone, never fully trusting anyone to watch my back. You, little one, have given me the greatest of gifts. You are the strongest person I have ever met, you protect all those close to you with such a ferocity and honesty. You may never need my protection but know I would willing give my own life for yours. I don't remember having family but in my eyes I have one now".

Peter spoke softly as he placed a hand on my shoulder, "Jasper, Char and I called ourselves family but we were broken, you make us whole. When I dragged Char out to meet you, I knew it would be a positive influence on our lives. I had no idea it could be this much. You went to save my Char, she was most in need of help, you made a sound tactical decision not an emotional one. I knew you were a strange one and I love you for it. I will never forget what you did to save my heart," he looked at Charlotte with such adoration with his last words.

Char hugged me again, tears shining in her eyes, "You are more than either a sister or best friend to me".

"I was just as broken and alone in my own way. I think it's me that's the lucky one, to have each of you in my life," everyone stepped closer into a group hug. I felt my chest swell with emotion. In that shared hug I felt we shared more than just contact, we each gave a piece of ourselves and came away stronger and more connected for it. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

I changed focus by suggesting a hunt. My throat was burning and I could see everyone's eyes were getting dark.

Jasper and I managed to grab a snack on our way to town. We kept guard as the other three hunted. It was hard watching them but it's their choice.

They all managed to feed quickly when they happened upon a gang war. Teens waving and shooting guns without regard for those trying to do the right thing by their families and neighbours. I'm not sure I'll ever be comfortable with taking human lives but some do seem less of a loss than others.

A herd of deer en-route to the location of the possible base ensured Jasper and I also had filling meals that night.

The information about the base was accurate. We scouted the terrain to find the best vantage point. The location was a good one. We would be hard pressed to approach from anywhere apart from the main entrance. Getting in undetected didn't appear to be an easy option. We would just have to get them as they came out.

We watched the camp for three days before we got a break.

Four groups entered the camp but none had left. We found a vantage point that gave us clear view of the entrance but finding a location to observe the rest of the camp proved difficult. Peter caught a glimpse of someone he thought he knew, he was part of the first group to leave the compound since we arrived. We followed.

We allowed them to run far enough from the camp that any noises would not carry back.

Peter jumped out and greeted them.

The dark haired one Peter had indicated he knew stood back from the others as they started the recruitment spiel.

They moved to attack Peter as soon as he declined their offer. Peter didn't give them any more chances. He sprayed them as they got close and used their distraction to remove two out three heads before Jasper even reached him. Jasper quickly dispatched the third accomplice.

My shield remained tight around each of them. Charlotte, Garrett and I stayed out of sight watching just a while longer.

Roy is slightly shorter than Peter with dark brown hair. He has a barrel like build, he looks like someone that did heavy manual work as a human. His face had a softness that to me adds up to cheerful, cheeky likeableness.

Peter smiled and said in a jovial voice, "Roy, long time no see. What you up to these days?"

Jasper glanced over as he started a fire and started feeding it with the remains of Roy's companions.

"Peter. Haven't you heard it's not safe to be caught out and about in recent days?" Roy said without removing his eyes from Jasper as he continued to feed the fire.

Peter smirked, "I had heard but someone hadn't told these idiots".

Roy sighed, "I was out hunting just over a month ago when five of these idiots came on me. I had heard the stories so when they made the offer I took them up, expecting to be killed if I didn't. I tried to learn what I could. I have been waiting for a chance to escape but there are too many groups out there. I didn't dare leave until I had somewhere safe I could go to ground. They have had some losses recently, I don't suppose you know anything?"

Peter checked with Jasper to check that his feelings matched his words, "We may have taken offence at a few groups we have met when they wouldn't take no for an answer".

Roy sagged in relief, "Is Charlotte safe?"

Peter looked over at Jasper. Jasper nodded and called to us, "Come on out".

We walked out into view. I went to Jasper, Charlotte went over to Peter. Garrett remained back from us, scanning the surrounding area.

Roy's eyes smiled when he saw Charlotte safe and well.

Peter grinned, "Roy, you already know my esteemed self and Charlotte here so let me introduce my companions. The revolutionary watching our backs is Garrett," they exchanged a wave, "And you may of heard tales of my brother, Major Jasper Whitlock," Roy's eyes widened, he stepped back as he nodded, "the beautiful belle at his side is Bel".

Jasper rolled his eyes at Peter's flowery introductions, "Shall we move off the road now introductions are out of the way?"

We ran further from the base. Peter stayed with Roy while the rest of us split to confuse the scent trail, if anyone tried to follow us.

We had scoped out a few locations that made good meeting places. Off the beaten track, clear approaches and plenty of escape routes.

Peter spent the rest of the evening picking Roy's brain for all the information he had picked up from the camp.

Our activities hadn't escape notice but it was assumed we were a much larger force since we were taking them out so cleanly.

Peter looked at me and grinned. I guessed where he was going next, misinformation and set them against each other.

Talk about words coming back to haunt you, me and my big mouth!

They were still arguing, or finalising details as Peter like to call it, at day break.

The upshot of the night's bickering was Roy had agreed to go back to base. He was going to claim he got delayed while feeding, he ran to catch them up only to see their smoke rising. He got a glimpse of their attackers and tried to follow them but lost their trail, so he rushed back to report.

He agreed to feed us info while helping to set all the camps up in a confrontation. In payment Roy and a few trusted friends would get the use of my house with its stockpile of frozen blood as a safe place to go to ground once we had finished.

I don't know if it's just Roy but Peter's friends seem to thrive in circumstances like these. Roy just wanted to escape but as soon as he heard the plan to set them against each other, he was all for being a part of the mayhem. Having an escape route and safe bolt hole was just icing on the cake for him.

Roy took a phone with him and the games began.

It was three days until the next teams started to emerge. They came out in sixes and sevens at first.

We were able to hit the teams as they cleared the compound by enough distance to maintain our anonymity. The teams became larger but we took them out with ease as my competence with my shield increased with practice and our fighting skills became more honed with active use.

Roy fed us the location of all the bases as he learnt of them. He soon rose in the ranks in the compound, if only because he survived. Roy informed any dissidents within the camp that if they stepped back from the confrontations they would be given the chance to speak for their life.

Within a month Roy became leader of his camp, we wiped out the rest of the leaders as they emerged to feed We forcibly entered the compound finishing off the last shreds of resistance in that one. Roy helped us sort the wheat from the chaff. Those that didn't want to fight hid in the now empty compound until we had the chance to take on the rest of the operation.

With our take over Roy officially passed the leadership over to Jasper so the other camps recognised his voice as the new commander.

Most of the bases knew each other by voice only. The ringleaders that set up the entire thing were long gone out of the country.

Peter and Roy managed to isolate any friends and acquaintances in each base filling them all in on the plan.

Jasper fed the other camps about the strength of his camp and how well the recruiting was going.

Using all our connections within the camps we managed to feed enough false information and get rid of the existing leaders. Jasper took over as the voice that kept in contact with the overseas ringleaders, he called himself 'Oli' on Peter's insistence. We all agreed Jasper should use an alias but Peter just snickered when we asked him to explain his choice on names. Jasper kept feeding them all the things they like to hear. The four of them had great fun coming up with stories of how the troublesome attacking army had been eliminated.

Coordinating the other camps Jasper led each to believe they had information on where the rebel forces would be at a certain time.

The final battle of the camps was anticlimactic, all the bases came in to a wilderness area with the order to kill on sight. We staggered their arrival times. Friends and allies were kept to one side as the others annihilated each other. We only had a couple to finish off after the last group came through.

The U.S. were clear. The ring leaders overseas were totally unaware about the loss of all the camps. Jasper got all inventive feeding them even more tales about finding pockets of Vampires in hiding and encouraging them to join the cause.

Roy with a group of Peter's friends lead the survivors away. Many of Peter's friends had safe places to go back to ground. The survivors split into groups joining up with those they knew. Roy was taking one group to use my house. Between the different groups they intended sending out large patrols to ensure the threat was completely eliminated. They would pass the message around that it was safe now so any vampires that had gone to ground could come out again. Roy and Peter's other friends all promised to keep us informed. Roy promised my house would be kept in good repair!


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Jasper, or 'Oli', received a call from overseas, ordering him to arrange transport for all the forces he claimed he had enlisted. They wanted us over in Europe. They didn't care where we flew into but we would need to be in Italy in two weeks time.

They wanted a small force of twenty or thirty vampires to stay in the States as a back up contingent. They wanted them in the North West U.S.A. at the same time the other forces would be converging on Italy.

Jasper agreed and told them 'Stan' was his trusted second and he would stay to command the second group.

Peter got to be the voice of 'Stan'. I couldn't keep a straight face. Jasper has no resemblance to Oliver Hardy, no matter how much I teased that Peter could make a good Stan Laurel; Peter's sense of humour shining through again, with his name choices; utter farce or slap stick, does sum up much of this though!

I did try to give Peter some stick about how out of date his name choices were but as he pointed out to me, they are modern in Vampire terms, it's just me that's such a young infant. In general, nomad vampires don't have a permanent home so the 'new fangled' technology passes most of them by. Peter, the insatiable busybody, is an exception with his television habits. Garrett had seen their names on posters at the time but knew little about Laurel and Hardy. Jasper, living with the Cullen's, was the other end of the scale and had a good knowledge of all the technology as it emerged and it's content; turns out repeating school can have some advantages for keeping up with the times!

Jasper drained the bank accounts he had been given to procure transportation. He produced false papers and records confirming the fleet of cargo planes the fictitious forces would need to travel.

We kept up the pretence that our force would be shipping out in cargo planes to Florence just in time for the required arrival time.

Jasper phoned Carlisle. They had a brief conversation. Carlisle tried again to persuade us to join them in Volterra for our safety. Jasper declined, he used me as an excuse (for ease) as we all decided we preferred our current arrangement. Jasper passed the time frame for the attack to Carlisle but didn't give him the details of how we had come by that information. Much as we wanted to fill Carlisle in, it was decided the fewer that knew the current circumstances in the U. S. the less chance the opposing force would have to replenish their numbers, the element of surprise would stay firmly with us.

Confident we were leaving the U.S. in safe hands we made arrangements to leave the country as quickly as possible. Jasper piloted a small private jet to save me the stress of being stuck in a tin can full of humans.

The five of us flew into Berne in Switzerland, a neutral even in the vampire world.

In the airport I sent Charlie and the wolves a few emails. To any watcher they would appear to be yet more spam. The first email Charlie would know just from the subject line it was from me. It would be all the peace of mind he would need to know, the states were clear to the best of our knowledge and I was okay but still not in a position to correspond safely. The others were about a cancelled band tour to North West U.S. and the dates. I had a bad feeling when they were asking for a group of vampires to be in close proximity of Forks. I wanted to be sure they were forewarned in case they were another target along with the Volturi.

The Swiss landscape is amazing. I was worried about finding suitable 'vegetarian' options but I was pleasantly surprised by the diversity.

Mountain goats are not a fulfilling meal after been stuck in the sardine tin otherwise known as an aeroplane. Fortunately I also managed to find a brown bear. Jasper got a grey wolf and a couple of pine martens to supplement the goats.

Jasper talked me out of the wild boar as it tastes too much like pig and domestic mammals just don't suit the vampire palette.

The terrain in Switzerland is not the easiest to transverse yet outcrops of humanity perch on the steepest of hillsides with switchback roads cutting up the mountain sides. The wildlife is profuse living in much closer proximity to humans than we are used to.

Jasper laughed at me as I marvelled at the rainbows each morning and evening, and the thunderstorms that rolled up and down the valleys. The clear sunny days didn't make for good travelling weather for vampires but the terrain made it possible to travel by chasing the shadows of the mountain peaks.

Roy and the others stayed in contact with us, keeping us up to date with news back in the U.S.

They came across some old acquaintances of Jasper and Peter's during their reconnaissance missions. Through them they learnt Maria had left the country for Europe. She had agreed to join the attack forces once she heard her biggest rival for territory in the South, Carlos, was also joining the movement against the Volturi. Maria resented the Volturi for limiting her expansion plans over the years.

They had both left the country leaving only a skeleton crew to maintain their territories.

Jasper, Peter and Charlotte all had a determination to finally put a stop to Maria. They had escaped but they all still looked over their shoulders in fear of Maria coming back for them.

Jasper said little but he was even more clingy. He tried to run with his arm around me rather than just holding hands. His grip when he did hold my hand was tighter. He showed no other signs of his nerves. I noticed Peter and Charlotte doing the same.

Garrett noticed but I had no chance to speak to him about it. I just tried to reassure Jasper with my proximity, the closer I stay to him, the more relaxed he is.

We crossed scent trails in Switzerland but even when one group spotted Charlotte they avoided her respecting the neutrality of the country.

We headed out of Switzerland to the south, down towards Bologna. We want a more central location to cover Northern Italian foot traffic into Tuscany.

I was never more happy for Roy and co. staying in contact and the intelligence he supplied us with when we caught the scent of Maria in Palma. She is worse than a dog for scent marking an area. Jasper told me the reek was her. The smell was covering a huge area, even a newborn like me that had never come across her scent before had an instinctual response to avoid the area.

We continued our reconnaissance of North Italy. Carlos, we found, had based himself in Genoa.

Both contingents had secured such a large area fact finding missions into their territory just wasn't practical.

We brainstormed to come up with ideas how to deal with them both.

The best idea we could come up with was creating a couple of skirmishes, allowing a survivor to run home claiming they were ambushed by the other side.

We didn't need to do anything, Maria played straight into our hands with her constant need to expand further. She sent out teams in all directions scouting the surrounding area. The team she sent in the directions of Carlos's newly proclaimed area were a young group. Some no older than me with only one that acted any leadership, even she didn't have enough sense to cover their trail. Jasper didn't think Maria can have known where Carlos was based when she sent that group out.

Fortunately for us they came across one of Carlos's members and took him out on sight. They left a clear scent trail of their deed.

We stepped in then, claiming they were invading our territory as we ripped them to shreds. A girl, looking only to be in her early teens, was so skittish she ran off as soon as we approached them.

We followed her scent trail and soon caught sight of the panicked runaway. She was so skittish and nervous. A broken twig under her foot, a stray breeze, an insect, any small distraction was enough to spook her as she ran. It was almost painful to watch her as she made her haphazard way back to Maria.

We stayed well away from her trail so we didn't taint it with our scents. We ran parallel with as much distance as possible. Jasper, Peter and Charlotte all retreated further into their shells as we entered the scent marked territory. Jasper ended carrying me to over come his need to keep me close. Peter and Charlotte faired no different. Garrett ran point with Peter and Jasper running close behind. They were close enough to each other that I would have been able to touch them if Jasper's nerves didn't flare if I so much as loosened my grip on him.

We got close enough to hear Maria's screams as she received the news. To say she took it badly is an understatement. The runaway was so nervous I think she had difficulties relaying the story. She lost limbs in an effort to get her tongue working but when her tale was told she paid with her life as Maria took her temper out on her.

Jasper was hugging me so tightly as we watched it play out. He tried to keep a tight reign on his feelings but I could feel his fear, worry, hatred, horror and self-loathing as he watched what we had started come to fruition.

Maria screamed orders rounding up all her troops ready to retaliate.

Carlos must have found the trail of his missing minion were it intersect with the distinct scent of Maria's crew. They must have followed their trail to where we had taken Maria's crew out. He and all his outfit we arguing about what had happened and what to do about it.

Maria screamed, "Attack!" as soon as she saw them.

It was a venom bath. I know it doesn't have the same ring as bloodbath but you get the gist.

The handful of survivors were still fighting when we joined the fray. Peter and Charlotte went to finish off Carlos's crew, their numbers were slightly better since we had taken out Maria's little group earlier. Garrett and I didn't play any favourites, we took them out as we came to them. Jasper stood watching Maria as she fought tooth and nail against Carlos. Carlos got the upper hand when a shocked Maria glimpsed Jasper. Carlos wasted no time in removing her head, it was the last thing he would ever do. Jasper took Carlos down.

I started to help Garrett collect remains for burning as the other three finished the last vampires off. With the last one finished, Jasper just froze. I looked to Garrett checking he was okay to finish the clear up, he just nodded me over to Jasper.

I reached Jasper and wrapped my arms around him. It was like hugging a statue.

I started to stroke his arms, then rub his back as I whispered to him, "She gone, you are safe now".

He collapsed in sobs. I just held him.

The fire was dying down when he started talking, "She was my sire. I hated her, she dragged me into this life and broke me with her war. But I would never have found you if it hadn't have been for her..."

"Grieve the loss of a woman whose own life was stolen by a vampire so long ago," I don't have the words but I knew he need to let out the pain. She had been a big part of his life for a long time, even when he escaped her, he remained in the shadow she created.

Garrett was getting more and more nervous with us remaining in the area with a beacon of smoke marking our location. I nodded to him in recognition.

"Come on we need to get out of here," Jasper let me pull him along with me.

I repeated the process with Peter and Charlotte. They were all in shock. Garrett and I lead them away.

It was hours until the three of them started to come out of their shells.

"She's gone, she has really gone?" Charlotte whispered.

I nodded. She looked into Peter's eyes, "We're free, she can never come for us now".

Peter hugged her tighter, "Yes, we're free. Finally free".

Jasper echoed in a still haunted voice, "Free".

The sun crossed the sky as we sat in silence. Jasper's emotions were still leaking. I could feel him gradually pull himself together, heal. His feelings can only be described as a stooped old man slowly straightening and standing tall for the first time in years, the weight falling from his shoulders, breathing in clean fresh mountain air after years of humid smog.

By nightfall we had three rejuvenated people with us. Jasper, Peter and Charlotte had carried the weight of fear for so long it was like they were reborn. I don't think any of them realised quite how worried they had been that Maria would drag them back into that life.

A revitalised Jasper called Roy. Roy and Co. were going to team up to clean house at their side of the Atlantic. Others may try and take Maria's mantle but they would have to start from scratch. Many of Peter's friends intended keeping the area clean without the iron fist of control Maria and the other groups held. Vampire's would be able to visit the area or pass through without fear of death or recruitment.

Nomads are known to be wanderers but many had a soft spot the place they called home before they were changed. They would now have the chance to visit their childhood homes for the first time since their change.


	25. Chapter 25

_A/N _

_Many Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read and review and to those the added me as a fav or alert._

_Special mention to BeckaR for correctly working out who is behind stirring up the horents nest with the Volturi!_

_:)-J_

Chapter 25

We spent the next week sweeping the width of Italy for any groups trying to approach Volterra from the North.

Any vampire that surrendered was allowed to head back North as long as their feelings matched their words. It was from these that we heard the rumours of the weapons; one vampire that could body swap and another that could confuse or disorientate a group of vampires leaving them vulnerable to attack.

The time for the rendezvous closed in on us, the numbers of Vampire coming into the area increased. We didn't manage to find out any more about the two Vampires with gifts. We did however manage to significantly reduce the influx of forces before they got into place.

Jasper got another chance to do his 'Oli' impression when he phoned in to confirm his forces were en-route.

Peter got a shock when his direct line to 'Stan' started ringing. They wanted his small force to wipe out Forks and La Push. He was warned about the wolves but they were dismissive about their abilities. I could see the shock on Peter's face but he kept his voice steady and enthusiastic.

Peter looked at us eyes wide as he hung up.

I looked at Jasper in distress, "Who else could it be? It can only be her".

Jasper just nodded, "The Cullen's are the only other possibility but they are long gone, we didn't even realise they started shifting again. To know about the wolves it has to be someone that has come across them. I think you are right. We left you..., left you to deal with that".

He dropped his head in shame, I hugged him tighter, "Hey, it's the past. You are with me now. Our actions have prevented that attack. Things may have got a bit out of hand but we are sorting it".

Garrett was looking at us, "I think I need to know your full past. I guess those are the people you were trying to keep safe with your silence?"

Jasper sat down, pulling me with him. I curled up on his knee. I patted the grass next to me. I started telling my story from leaving Renee in Phoenix to go and live with my Dad, through all the ups, or more to the point downs, until I met Garrett. I clarified our fears that Victoria was the person that set all this mess into motion.

Garrett just stared at me when I finished. He blinked a couple of times, "Wow! I guessed at some details but, I never... You really are a survivor. I didn't think it was possible to respect you more than I already did but... so strong, you are amazing. I'm lost for words".

Silence reigned as Garrett face went though a range of emotions, I could almost see him process everything I had just told him, "So you think Victoria has turned her 'mate for a mate' vendetta against the Volturi since Edward is now in the guard? She must have made some powerful connections to raise this scale of army".

It hit me, "All this death, all because of me".

Jasper was putting self-loathing out in buckets, "I should have pushed and stuck to my guns. I should never have listened to Edward when he maintained she wasn't a threat".

Peter piped up, "You two are as bad as each other. She should have been eliminated at the time but you weren't in a position to it then. You did what you could in the circumstances. Neither of you were in a position to take the blame for lack of action. My little danger magnet, you may get sucked into the chaos but you didn't cause it. What sort of brain dead idiot thinks two or three nomads can take on a coven of seven vampires for a runty little human, without any losses?"

"Hey!" I exclaimed when he called me runty. Then I looked at my short stature compared to his height and shut up.

I started giggling. Sometimes there only two options in life – laugh or cry. Jasper was accepting it wasn't his fault either so with his emotions slowly lifting, laughter helped both of us.

"So two or three vampires are brain dead for taking on seven. What does that make us five for taking on an army?" I raised my eyebrows at Peter.

He was having none of it, "You have to remember we have already taken out an army on one Continent, with our little danger magnet working in our favour they haven't got a snowballs chance in hell," his eyes softened, "You won't even let them touch us, with you on our side we can take on the world".

"I never wanted the world, I just want a quiet corner to live in peace. Things never work as you plan," I said with a sigh.

Jasper looked at me, "But if things went to plan, would you be with us now?"

I smiled at him, "When you put it that way I wouldn't change a thing. But even you must admit the pebble that was set into motion when I joined you for that baseball game made a pretty impressive avalanche!"

Peter smiled at that, "The Volturi have made many enemies, they will always attract those seeking power for themselves. The avalanche would have happened at some time with or without that pebble but without you it would have done so much more damage".

We took our last few hours to feed. Much to Peter and Charlotte's disgust we persuaded them to have a couple of animals since the numbers of human drinkers in the area made for thin pickings. Garrett gave himself over to hunting animals with excitement and enthusiasm to try something new.

Garrett had great fun hunting and chasing his prey. According to Jasper so did Peter but Peter just complained incessantly about the taste. Char didn't say much, her feelings were more in line with Garrett but she sided with Peter, much preferring the taste of their normal food source.

At dusk we made our way around the outskirts of the massed forces. We were trying to find the leaders. Many groups tried to get us to join their number but we talked our way out claiming to be meeting up with friends, it was slow progress.

Fighting had started as we approached.

Jasper or 'Oli's' phone went off as we walked. Jasper had a simple excuse ready, he claimed our flights had been delayed but we were only an hour behind schedule.

I spotted a flash of red on the rise ahead of us.

We talked our way into what appeared to be the leaders compound.

In the centre was a small woman pinned down by four large vampires. The angry screams from the prone body didn't sound like they belonged. I realised it must be the body swapper.

Victoria was stood off to the side arguing with five other vampires. Two looked like they are made of chalk, one fair haired, the other dark haired. The other three all look oriental in origin, one appeared to be dressed as a Japanese shogun. The other two looked straight out of a Kung Fu film.

"Hey Vicky, fancy seeing you here!" I called over to her.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" she shrieked at me.

"Oh Vicky, you spent so long trying to get to me I'm surprised you don't remember me. Don't you recall James deciding to make a game of taunting a coven of seven vampires to get to sweet smelling human me. Then you got all upset when he got killed for his efforts. You spent, what a year trying to catch poor little human me without success then you fell for my fake death. You tried to get to Edward when he was forced to work for the Volturi but you couldn't even get that right. What did you tell all your friends here to persuade them to help you to get your revenge?" wow, her facial expressions look like she is going to explode. Her little friends don't look too happy. Hey, I don't know for sure about Edward or what story she used to bring them all here but it came out sounding good!

"I killed them all, all your mangy wolves and any other humans in the area. They will all be dead by now. You'll be next. Kill her," she screamed.

A couple of bodies start to bounce off my shield. We ignored them.

"Oh Vicky, Stan hasn't killed anyone back home. He is right here," I pointed to Peter.

Peter grinned and in his best 'Stan' voice, "Sorry Madam, but Forks and La Push are unharmed".

Her face screwed up even further, looking even more feral.

"Such a shame your plan failed. It's you that will die today, not me," I pounced. Even more bodies dived for me but they couldn't get a hold of the shield. Victoria lost her head before she properly realised I was a threat.

The five vampires Victoria had been stood with, started making lots of noise with their excuses and threats but they soon followed her example. It's much harder to talk without a head. I didn't even attempt to fight them, there is no need with my shield in place. Between Jasper and I we decapitated them all before the scale of the danger fully registered with them. Peter, Charlotte and Garrett all stayed busy trying to ensure the woman under guard remained safe but still secured until we could find out more.

The woman was held down by only two vampires now. The other two had joined the fray and their remains plume up into the air with the Victoria and those that opposed us

She was screaming, "I'm Aro of the Volturi".

The body shifter was a frail looking woman with a mousey face. The voice coming from it held power and a tenor of authority that didn't fit the body.

I turned to him, umm her? and said, "I need you to lie still. If we kill this body I don't know if you will die with her body and her personality will stay in your body. Talk to us, tell us what you learnt while she has been in your body. As soon as the body moves or you stop talking we will assume the bodies true owner has returned to find out what has happened up here. I will immediately decapitate it. We are quite visible in our current location. When you return to your body coordinate your forces, we don't know what information she has fed them. We'll meet you in the middle".

He stilled his movements and started talking.

I removed the heads of his two remain guards, warning him with my expression that the slightest movement from him/her would result in decapitation. I remained with Aro in the woman's body. I calmly listened to him as vampires dived at me and him from all directions. He kept flinching as the attackers targeted him but he was a good boy and remained stationary. Using my excellent vampire peripheral vision I watched for the approaching threats without my eyes ever leaving his. I could see fear in his/her eyes as the body lay still and prone on ground, how much of the fear was for me and how much for his current circumstances, I have no idea.

My shield kept us all safe, including the body shifter body. Any threat that came near I used my newborn strength to rip off their heads. Bodies fell left and right but his/her eyes never faltered from mine, all his energy went into talking knowing that was the only thing keeping him alive.

He told me what he overheard from Victoria, the Romanians, the Chinese and Japanese Vampires leading the attack.

Victoria had spent months building forces in the United States. When she had enough people in place to continue she travelled the world stirring up anyone that had any would listen. She lied through her teeth about the Volturi in an effort to get the others on board. They all wanted to take over as leaders and saw it as a great opportunity to overthrow the Volturi. He had put two and two together from my conversation with her and recounted Edward's memories and how they too had discounted her as a major threat.

Aro went on to tell us he overheard that the American forces were delayed but were due within the hour. The Southern American forces arrived in Italy early and were due any time. Many of the European forces would be arriving on foot. The Chinese and Japanese forces were all down in the combat zone. He started telling us about the Russian forces when he went quiet then the body leapt. It was the last thing it did. Another head joined the fire.

We left our position on the rise, it was none too soon, the fire we built was getting too big for such close proximity. We started to fight our way towards the Volturi's defences.

There wasn't much doubt by now that we were fighting for the Volturi not against them. We were buried in attacking bodies. Not that they could do anything too us. My shield kept us all safe.

It became quite monotonous in a macabre way. Bite, rip the head off, move to the next neck. The most frustrating thing was getting from under the mass of bodies and differentiating live from dead. Keeping your feet firmly planted to maintain balance and keep fighting with all the spare limbs and bodies got annoying.

We cut quite a swathe though them. The bodies seemed to wash up to us like waves on a beach.

We veered off when Garrett spotted an a determined group that was having too much success. I think one of them was the vampire with the gift to confuse. I felt a strange prickling on my shield until his head came off. He looked the part of a greasy used car sales man!

Even more bite, rip the head off, move to the next neck followed. We took it in turns to build fires throwing body parts in from under our feet, leaving a fiery trail in our wake.

The numbers around us dwindled, I had to start using the shield to drag them to us, away from the Volturi defenders.

Aro didn't manage to meet us in the middle. We had to go to him. The Volturi forces were in all out defence mode. They prevented any of the forces from getting past them but they made no headway.

We had the advantage of not having to defend ourselves, all our energy went into eliminating the attacking forces. We may only be few in number but our decisive action decimated the oppositions troops.

The attackers were at last realising they were on the losing side. Some threw themselves into hopeless battles while others turned tail and ran.

We had turned the tide. We approached biggest group of Volturi fighters, hearing a clean up ordered. They were sending teams out to burn the remains and capture any stragglers.

Smoke billowed up into the sky causing a haze as far as the eye could see. The smell was not nasty but the knowledge of what it was turned my stomach if only figuratively.

I heard someone saying, "Aro, do you think they will fall for the chemical explosion again?"

I smiled as I called out to a dark hair man, "Aro, you didn't keep your side of the bargain, you were supposed to meet us in the middle. What kept you?"

He turned and looked at us closely, "I thought there must be more, but it's just you five".

I smirked, "Goes to prove quality over quantity."

He laughed a roaring belly laugh. He extended his hand to shake mine, "I think I like you!"

His smile disappeared, "I can't read you".

I still had the smirk plastered on my face, "Do you want to try the traditional way then? I'm pleased to meet you Aro of the Volturi, I am Bella Swan. My comrades are Major Jasper Whitlock, Peter and Charlotte Whitlock and Garrett Wolfe," I sent Garrett a grin.

Garrett laughed, "I think I'll go by Garrett Swan, if you will allow me to continue as your brother".

"It doesn't matter what name you go by I am honoured to call you my brother," I said with emotion.

Jasper hugged me closer to his side and placed a kiss in my hair.

Aro's eyes widened at Jasper's name. He watched our internal conversations then asked, "Are you 'The Major'?"

Jasper rolled his eyes and laughed, "I was but that is officially my past since we wiped Maria and Carlos out. I hope the newborn wars they perpetuated will be a thing of the past".

Jasper's response made me smile, he has come so far in accepting and dealing with his past.

Aro really was wearing his emotions on his face. He was still expecting Maria, Carlos and the army from the States to make an appearance, "They are no more? What of the other forces from the States?"

Peter laughed, "We wipe them all out! There are no others we wiped those out weeks ago. We led Victoria to believe that Stan and Oli were her back up plan, obviously she missed out on the excellence that is Laurel and Hardy," Aro face changed from relief to confusion at that statement but Peter ignored him and continued, "Maria and Carlos met their demise last week. The rest of this week we swept the North of your fair country preventing the stragglers joining this fight. Those, I assume, would have been the European and Russian forces you were concerned about".

Aro's relief at our news was palpable.

He immediately ordered more forces to round up the remaining attackers now he knew the defenders should no longer be needed in such numbers.

I looked at the five of us. The last two weeks we had spent on and in the ground. The smoke tainted our clothes. I spoke up, "If you think you can manage the remaining riff raff, we would really like to clean up?"

Aro bowed, "I am being remiss as a host, please feel free to use any facilities inside the castle. Tell them at reception I sent you all and they will be at your service".

"Thank you, we will fill you in more when things have settled down," I smiled at him. He nodded and turned back to the task of clear up.

A hot shower and new clothes, small pleasures make me feel so much better.

We had a few hours of peace before a knock at the door informing us of a meeting in the great hall.

The five of us stuck close. We may have fought for the Volturi but trusting them is another kettle of fish entirely. Jasper kept his arm around me as if it was attached. Not that I was complaining I had my arm wrapped around his waist just as securely.

We strode into the hall. Many took a step back from us as we entered.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

"Jasper," Eleazar gasped, "I thought you were staying in the States, what are you doing here? How are you doing it, I can't see your power. You're shielded".

"Eleazar, it's good to see you safe. Are the rest of the family all okay?" Jasper asked politely.

"Yes. They are still getting ready, you know what women can be like," he said with fond amusement. His eyes taking in me, under Jasper's arm.

Jasper smiled and nodded, then tried to answer Eleazar's earlier questions, "When Carlisle informed us about the problems that were being experienced we were unable to travel immediately, having a newborn in our group," Jasper started to explain.

"Where did you leave the Newborn?" Eleazar quickly asked

Jasper glanced down at me, as always when he meets my eyes a soft smile graced his face. Looking back at Eleazar he indicated me, "She is here but the unusual circumstances are a long story. I would like to talk to you about that later?"

"As to what we are doing here, I suppose the same as everyone else, supporting our leaders in a time of threat. The shield isn't mine," he smiled at me again.

"She doesn't look like a newborn. Is it her shielding all of you? How did she get control so quickly? That is a powerful shield," Eleazar was in shock.

Fortunately Aro entered the room and silence fell.

Aro and Marcus stood in front of their respective thrones but one throne was conspicuously empty.

"We are victorious but it came at a great cost. Our humblest thanks go to each of you for coming here in our time of need. We will not forget those who have supported us. We have had many losses. They will be dearly missed," he bowed his head and remained silent.

He raised his head and looked at us all, "Some here deserve extra thanks for their efforts. Without them I know the result would have been very different".

"We believe the threat is now gone. You are all free to stay longer until we have chance to ensure areas are safe or leave whenever you are ready," I saw many people relax when they knew they could stay longer.

Peter called out during Aro's pause, "We have a team in North America, they confirm it is safe to return there. They are proceeding into South America but they haven't had time to ensure all pockets of resistance have been removed".

Annoyance then shock passed over Aro's face but he nodded his thanks before continuing, "We have had many losses and we need time to get an understanding of how things got to this state. I would like to speak to everyone individually to see how best to move forward from here. Members of the guard will come for you in turn. If you want to retire to you rooms or make use of the grounds, you are most welcome," I wondered how many the Volturi had lost for Aro to be so shaken.

Aro and Marcus slipped out of the room.

A cloaked figure approached us and quietly asked, "Would you all follow me, Aro requested you join him in his study." Eleazar turned to leave, "You too, please".

Aro's study was a huge open room, oak panelling and bookcases made up the walls. A desk sat over by the window. An open circle of half a dozen soft chairs with a table in the centre sat on the panelled side of the room.

Marcus, Aro and Carlisle were all stood near the window talking when we entered, "We would all have been wiped out had it not been for them. We have lost many members of the guard. The biggest loss is Chelsea, we can't function as we have without her".

"Thank you for joining us," Aro said as we walked over.

Aro named us to Marcus, "Jasper, Bella, Peter, Charlotte and Garrett".

We each nodded as he said our names. Eleazar frowned slightly and glanced towards Carlisle as my name was said.

Aro continued, "Carlisle vouches for your integrity but your actions speak for themselves. Will the five of you continue and help us restore order?"

This is an Aro unlike anything I expected.

He continued, "I don't expect your answer straight away but I would appreciate knowing more about how you came to be here today?" Aro bowed his head, "I would get a better understanding if you would allow me to see your past but I understand if you prefer to tell your stories in words".

Marcus, Carlisle and Eleazar showed shock at Aro as he said this. Aro must have had one of those changes that vampires rarely have. I think the body swap experience and near death can do that!

Jasper nodded to me and stuck his hand out to Aro.

At that moment I was so proud of Jasper, so happy for him. In that simple action I saw how much he had healed and come to accept his past. He is no long embarrassed by his past.

I pulled my shield back.

Aro reached and took Jasper's hand in what appeared to be a simple hand shake but appearances can be deceptive. Aro's eyes widened for a few moments, then he fell to his knees. Jasper made to pull his hand back but Aro ground out, "No, I need to see the rest".

Aro gently pulled his hand from Jasper then stood.

"Thank you. I can see you are a man of honour. I have the utmost respect for the battles you have fought to stand here today. Carlisle spent many years trying to get me to reconsider our diet. You have given me a far deeper understanding of his arguments," Aro nodded to Jasper with respect and thanks.

He looked at me in awe and respect but from the glint in his eye and the way Jasper pulled me back into his side I guess at avarice too, "Please don't take this the wrong way but I'm glad I can't read your memories. If Jasper's short experience of your pain is any gauge I don't think my sanity would survive those six years of memories. I would never believed a human could survive that had I not seen it".

Aro looked over at Peter and Charlotte, "I have seen much of your history from Jasper. He has complete trust and respect for you both. I will not ask to see your memories".

"If you would allow?" Aro looked at Garrett, "If only to sate my curiosity, I have seen little of the Americas Revolutionary War".

Garrett paused for a moment before walking forward. He nodded to me then held his hand out to Aro.

Garrett memories didn't reflect as clearly on Aro's face so I had no hints of his progress.

Aro released Garrett's hand, "Your sense of adventure is commendable. I see you found very like-minded spirits in the Whitlock's".

Aro turned back to address Jasper, "Thanks to the warning you relayed to Carlisle, we were able to get our defences in place in time. Between your warnings to us and the forces you eliminated, we are in your debt," Aro bowed his head in thanks, "I feared a group as powerful as yourselves would try and overthrow us. I can see, without a doubt, I could not have been further from the truth. You fight only to be able to live the quiet lives you choose. I respect that. I hope we can work together to ensure your hard work will not be undone".

I get the impression he isn't used to being beholden to others. I'll put money on that he also saw that if he pushes us too hard we will push back. He is trying almost too hard to stay on our good side!

Aro looked at Eleazar, "Can you confirm the nature of her shield?"

"Bella would you lower your shield as far as you are able?" Eleazar asked.

Jasper squeezed my hand and sent me reassurance.

"No, I still can't get a full picture. Do you think you could cover me in your shield?" I kept telling myself, I can trust him, he is a friend of Carlisle.

I extended the bubble to encase him.

"Amazing, she is still protecting herself with a mental shield. I can see past it sufficiently to see her power now but it protects her from any mental attack. Aro can you try and get a reading from me. I am sure she has me covered with a physical and mental shield," Aro tried to touch his hand but couldn't read him.

"She is a shield. The shield is both physical and mental. It has a limited range but that should increase with time. With her shield extended she still protects herself from all mental powers but she subconsciously allows Jasper's power. I think that is a reflection of the strength of their bond," Eleazar smiled at me, "The colour of her eyes indicate she has no human blood left in her system so she may be newborn in time scale but her body is out of the newborn phase. Her current strength and speed will not diminish further".

I grinned at this as Jasper still got at me for my excessive newborn speed and strength.

I remembered Peter thinking I had a 'I just know stuff' gift and an escape gift, "Eleazar, do Peter or Charlotte have a gift?"

Eleazar gave them an intense glance, "Neither of them have anything that the Volturi would consider a gift. I can make out strong tendencies for intuition in Peter and evasion in Charlotte. You also show those tendencies along with authority".

Peter laughed, "I told you I didn't have a gift. I was right about you though".

"Rubbish you told me I had your gift and Charlotte's, the one you didn't get was the shield," I teased him.

"I got the authority bit," he argued

"Ahh, you mean when you said 'you say Jump and we ask how high'?" I laughed.

He just scowled.

Eleazar turned to Carlisle, "Is this the newborn you were asking about?"

Carlisle nodded.

Eleazar turned back to me, "Is it true, you were changing for six years?"

"Unfortunately, yes. It's not something I would wish even on my worst enemy. The pain was excruciating," that pain, that's something I do not miss!

A shudder ran through the room. Two guesses what they were imagining!

Eleazar nodded to himself, "That explains it. The change enhances any physical or mental strengths of the individual. Carlisle's change was thought to be exceptional, the self-restraint he showed in hiding himself and staying quiet. I believe that trait was enhanced giving him the restraint he needs to be a doctor and work near blood. Every day you lived, the venom enhanced whatever you did that day. I can't contemplate burning for longer than the three days it took me, how ever did you survive?"

Aro stopped his ramble, "Bella's story is more amazing than many will believe. Let her tell you later".

Marcus reached forward and touched Aro's hand, "Thank you Brother. Marcus just showed me the strength of Jasper and Bella's mating bond. He was unable to see it properly until Bella lowered her shield for Eleazar".

Jasper shot me a delighted look then pulled a mask of indifference back on.

"It is exceptional in that both aspects of the bond are powerful," he went on to explain

"Both aspects?" I questioned.

Aro smiled, "It is not well known but vampires retain many human traits. The best way to describe it is the venom enhances all aspects of us as it changes us. Certain innate tendencies can be enhanced. I don't know if you have noticed but some Vampires can exhibit dual personalities. Both the primal aspects and the more cultured human side are enhanced. The primal personality tends to be thought of as the Vampire side. Those are the two aspects that the mating bond can be developed from. Another way to describe the bonds is the 'pull' or the more human taking time to get to know each other and choosing someone you like. It is usual the one aspect of bond be stronger than other. Even if Chelsea had been able to breach your shield, she would have been unable to break the 'pull' side of the bond. The both sides of the bond are so strong then even the choice side of the bond becomes unbreakable as the two bonds merge. The only other couple with a bond of your magnitude was Marcus's bond with his late wife. Such bonds are extremely rare".

I nodded as he spoke, it felt to fit us. We both felt a pull to each other and felt a strong need to stay close to each other. We also spent lots of time talking and learning about each other. We have so much in common but we also seem to compliment and balance each other.

Marcus spoke softly, "Bella, you have many strong bonds. You seem to draw people to you and elicit strong emotion in them. You have strong positive bonds with five people in this room and I can see the makings of positive bonds with the rest. The bond with your mate is the brightest and purest I have ever seen. The bonds with the other three in your group are stronger than most vampires ever experience, an intriguing combination of friendship and family. The previous bonds were choice not pull. I only saw from their side only but the bonds were already fractured. I would never suggest breaking a bond if it wasn't already decaying. Even after Chelsea's intervention repair would have been possible but circumstances intervened".

Marcus didn't elaborate further. I felt a twist on my heart, I wanted to know more but I knew we needed to find out from them.

Aro smiled, "Thank you for your time. Would you all please strongly consider continuing to assist us in this difficult time."

Carlisle and Eleazar left the room with us. Carlisle asked, "Would you come back with us? The others are very excited to see you".

Garrett looked nervous, "All of us?"

"Of course, I'll never hear the end of it otherwise. Emmett will be impossible to live with if he doesn't get to see all of you," Carlisle admitted.

I grabbed Garrett's hand, "Brother's don't get out of family reunions that easily!"

"I lived as a lone nomad for centuries, I meet you and get extended family. Will I ever get any quiet time again?" he laughed.

"Doubt it," I laughed with him.

Carlisle led us through the maze of corridors.

As we walked Eleazar questioned carefully, "Carlisle told me your name was Belinda?"

"Victoria was behind the hostilities. She killed my mother and step-father five years ago in an attempt to get to me when I was human. I faked my death to keep my father and friends safe. My alias, at the time I became a vampire, was Belinda. Victoria was still at large, I didn't want to put them back into danger so I asked Carlisle to use my alias if he told anyone about me. I hope you don't hold the deception against us," I came clean with him, "I will tell you my full history with the others so I don't have to repeat it too many times".

Eleazar nodded his understanding and agreement.

Carlisle held us back a few yards down the corridor before the room, "Marcus confirmed you are Mates, what about Edward and Alice?"

"Carlisle, could you ever leave Esme and not go back for her?" I asked keeping my anger in check.

"No, she is my mate. I always feel the pull, it's becomes painful the longer we are apart," he replied confused.

"Can you be away from her for a day? a week? a month?" I pushed him

"I can manage my shifts at hospital but a week would be too much," he sounded more analytical for that answer.

"Edward and Alice left us both. They chose to leave us. They didn't come back. Doesn't that tell you anything?" I turned and caught up with the others and we entered the room together. A thoughtful Carlisle trailing behind.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

We walked into the room. Poor Emmett looked so relived to see us. A lone male in a room with six women.

Emmett came barrelling up as soon as he saw us. He grabbed me and spun me, "Hey Belly, you made it. I didn't think you were up to flying yet. When did you arrive? You didn't get caught up in the fighting did you?"

I looked up at Jasper with a smirk.

Emmett kept up his dialogue, "Did you hear about our saviours, some call them 'The Phoenix' or Comets, for the fiery trail they left. They are some invincible fighting dudes, I wish I could meet them".

I was trying so hard to keep a straight face but my shoulders were shaking with repressed laughter.

"Jazz man, good to see you. Do you know anything about the super heroes?" Okay, so I lost it.

Rose looked at me and Jasper, then across to Peter, Char and Garrett, "It's you lot isn't it?"

I just nodded.

Carlisle spoke up to introduce everyone before story time overtook us.

Tanya picked up on my name and my history with Edward.

Eleazar had only heard my name as Bella but I could see understanding followed by horror pass over his face as he put together the details Carlisle had told him of Belinda and what he knew of the relationship between Edward and I.

Carlisle had to settle the room down again as they all wanted to know more.

Tanya was furious for 'poor Edward'. Eleazar wanted to confirm his suspicions about me but the vote went for first finding out more about how we ended up over here fighting and saving the day.

Jasper got the job of filling them in.

Jasper started the story from the time we realized I had a shield and continued though all our adventures up to present time.

A disgruntled Emmett asked me, when Jasper finished, "Why didn't you tell us about your shield?"

I answered him, "Honestly because I wanted to surprise you when you got back. I never expected all this to happen".

He thought for a moment, "The threat has gone? So no more hiding?"

"Yes Emmett, the threat has gone. It was Victoria. She thought I was dead and she couldn't get to Edward with him being a member of the guard. She manipulated those with a grudge against the Volturi and raised an army to fight them. When the news got out the about the size of the force attacking the Volturi, all those with grudges or the power mad came out of the woodwork. We removed the threat first on one side of the Atlantic then over on this side. We found Victoria with a few of the ring leaders. We wiped them out and I threw Victoria's head into the fire to be sure she was gone. No more hiding," I told him with a smile.

"So where will you go when you leave here?" he asked quietly, so unlike Emmett.

"I'll worry about that when we've decided how long we will stay here," I hadn't thought to far about where next, to be honest I don't care where I go from here as long as I'm with Jasper. Proximity to Peter, Charlotte and Garrett would be a preference but not as essential. Home is the most likely option but that depends if Roy is still using my house.

"It didn't work, why didn't it work?" the Denali sister by the name Kate was complaining.

"What won't work?" I asked her.

"My touch can give an electric shock, Garrett asked me to show him what it feels like but it won't work," she complained.

I ducked my head in embarrassment, "Sorry".

"What have you got to be sorry for?" she asked.

I noticed she had taken very little notice of Jasper as he explained about how we ended up here. Her and Garrett had their own hushed conversation throughout.

"I'm think I may have a mental shield over him. I dropped the physical shield but I still don't have full awareness of the mental shield. We have been on high alert for the last few weeks. I'm still not fully at ease so I think I'm still protecting us automatically. I'll try to lower it if Garrett wants and you can have another go," I explained.

Garrett nodded with an enthusiastic smile and a glint in his eye so I pulled away from him.

Kate smiled and reached out.

Garrett gasped as she touched his arm, "And that's on a low setting. Intriguing".

The way they were looking at each other I'm not sure if they were talking about Kate's power or about each other. They were oblivious to the rest of us.

Carmen came over chatting to me. We went through the normal pleasantries until she asked, "Emmett treats you like a long lost sister and I haven't seen Rosalie take to anyone as fast as you".

I took the hint at the veiled question about my past with the Cullen's. I suspected she was asking for Tanya's benefit as Tanya was watching our conversation with bated breath.

I looked at Jasper then Carlisle, they both nodded, "Let me tell you my past, it will make more sense then".

I omitted only the run in with Laurent when he returned for me, otherwise I told them everything. Tanya was quite snide about everything from my relationship with Edward to the level of pain I lived in. Jasper had enough and sent out a wave of my pain to show everyone the true extent of my suffering.

Jasper left them in pain for longer than necessary but cut off the pain as I squeezed his hand. Jasper and I were the only two left standing. Peter had managed better than the rest only falling to one knee as he clung to Charlotte. They all picked themselves slowly off the floor. Of the Denali's only Tanya showed hate and anger on her face, the others just pain and horror. Garrett was the only other one in the room that hadn't had a hit of my pain before. His face showed his how strongly he cares for me as his sister; he hurt for me and wanted to make someone pay. The myriad of brotherly protection and retribution all flashed in his eyes.

The door was thrown open.

Edward and Alice strode into the room.

"What was that? The pain was worse than even Jane was able to inflict?" Edward snapped out. Without waiting for a response Edward asked imperiously, "Jasper, how are you blocking me?"

As soon as Edward started speaking, Peter, Charlotte and Garrett all moved as close to Jasper and I as it is physically possible to get. Charlotte stood behind us, her arms wrapped around our waists, her arms resting on our entwined arms and her chin resting on my shoulder, tilting her head to lean on Jasper's arm. Peter had a hand on Jasper's shoulder, his other arm around Charlotte. Garrett stood at my other side from Jasper, he glanced at Jasper then stood closer, one arm over Charlotte's and my shoulders, his other hand on top of Jasper and I's clasped hands.

Having the protection and support calmed my panic.

Jasper's panic calmed and he reigned in his emotions. He pushed calm to all five of us and squeezed my hand tighter.

"Nice to see you too Edward. I'm not blocking anyone," Jasper answered with dry sarcasm.

Eleazar ignored Edward and asked me, "The pain didn't affect you. I didn't think you were able to block Jasper?"

"I felt the pain just as you did. What you have to remember is I lived in that pain for six years. Peter and Charlotte weren't even aware I was in pain when I met them but when Jasper entered the house it bought him to his knees. I functioned with that level of pain as a human," I told him. Jasper had immediate remorse on his face when he realised he hit me with the emotions too. I squeezed his hand and sent him my feelings of forgiveness and indifference to the pain.

"You are lying, no human could withstand that pain," Edward sneered, "You are blocking your minds to keep the truth from me, how are you blocking me?"

Garrett's eyes blazed in anger, "Edward and Alice, I presume".

They nodded.

"Then you were the cause of that pain. The two of you," Garrett sneered at them but Peter held his arm firm before he could pull away from us.

I shifted my hand to tighten it around Garrett's hand. I shook my head minutely to let Garrett know I wanted to deal with them. His jaw tightened but he gave a tight nod.

"Do either of you know who I am?" I asked.

They both frowned and looked uncertain, Alice spoke, "You seem very familiar, but you can't be. She died years ago."

Edward just nodded his agreement with Alice.

I looked at them, I was disappointed, "My name is Isabella Marie Swan, I go by Bella. I had to fake my death to escape a vampire by the name of Victoria. I lived looking over my shoulder for years suffering from the severe withdrawal effects from vampires as the tiny amount of venom from two vampires slowly and even more painfully transformed me. That pain is what you left me to endure alone. The reason you can't read my mind is the shield that protected me as a human extended when the slow change you inflicted me to, turned me into a vampire".

Their faces went through a range of emotions disbelief, shock, horror, remorse to name but a few. Alice's eyes dropped in shame but Edward's eyes flicked from one face to another around the room, his eyes stayed on Carlisle the longest before his eyes dropped and a quiet sob ripped from him.

I clung to Jasper as I asked the important question, "Do either of you still have any feelings for us?"

Their eyes had raised to mine as I asked the question but they both dropped their eyes shaking their heads in negative.

Edward spoke, "Chelsea forced bonds to the Volturi but with her death those bonds disappeared. Our old bonds died when she stripped them from us. I feel a sibling bond to Alice. I feel familiarity when I look at each of you but no pull, no bond," loss and loneliness radiated from his every word.

Alice just nodded her agreement to his sentiments, "I have all my memories of my time with each of you but any emotion is in the past. I know Jasper was my husband but I have no feelings for the man that stands in front of me. I remember my best friend but I believed you were dead. We didn't know, we would have never left you if we had known".

There was a lot of anger in the room directed at Edward and Alice since the others had heard my story.

They both had glassy eyes with tears that could never fall. Remorse and shock clung to every part of their body language.

Remembering Marcus's words, I wanted to give them a chance, "Let's hear their side before anything else".

Jasper had his arm around me, he pulled me even closer to him if that was possible. He needs to hear this as much as I do.

Carlisle made eye contact, stepping forward until he placing a hand on a free part of my arm as he leant forward and whispered, "Thank you," in my ear for giving Edward and Alice the chance to speak for themselves.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

I let Carlisle take over and ask them what had happened to get them where they are today.

Alice took up the mantle.

"Leaving Bella was the most contentious decision we ever made, I would say made as a family but looking back I would be lying. Jasper was ignored, we treated him as the weak link and we placed much undeserved blame and anger on him. We never allowed him the chance to be anything but the weak link. I never gave him the trust he deserved.

Rosalie never agreed with allowing a human so close to us, she truly believed we were doing the right thing by leaving Bella and not dragging her further into this life. Emmett loved Bella like as a little sister but his vote wasn't enough. I believed we would only leave long enough for Edward to come to his senses, even so, I voted against leaving. Edward played every guilt card to get Carlisle and Esme to leave by playing on their love and their greatest regrets. We followed Edward's demand to allowed him say our goodbyes. Leaving broke something in us all that couldn't be repaired. I took my anger and grief out on Jasper.

When I saw the news of Bella's death, I didn't want to believe it. I raced back to Forks to disprove it," her eyes glazed but she continued to talk...

**Flashback Alice POV **

I sat waiting outside Bella's house in Carlisle's car. It had been a choice of that or the Volvo. Bella's scent still clung in the Volvo, I missed her so much I couldn't stand the reminder of what I had lost. I had seen Charlie would be back there in just a couple of minutes. In my vision I could see the bags under his eyes, the grief etched in his face.

I struggled to get any visions at all of Bella's future after we left. I stopped trying to look for her on Edwards wishes as soon as I saw her happier. She looked so content curled up reading on the sofa in our house. I left the house open for her to allow the vision to happen. I tried to tell Edward how wrong it was to leave her but when he saw that vision he was so sure she would be fine.

I was still worried that I couldn't get any other visions and it felt wrong to just leave in the way he demanded.

I couldn't see Charlie until I decided to visit, I couldn't believe she was really gone. I could hear the rumble of his engine coming up the street. I stepped out of the car to greet him.

I saw his face harden as he recognised me, that hurt. I loved Charlie and I thought he reciprocated, he always smiled before. It scared me to think what Bella had gone through for him to react so badly to me.

He pulled in front of his house and got out of the cruiser, "Alice," his voice cold and hard.

"Charlie, how are you?" I put my hand out knowing he would ignore it.

"Do you know the damage you left behind?" hurt, so much hurt in his voice.

"She is really gone?" I asked my voice sounding timid.

He snorted, "Yes," came the bitter response.

A vision hit me, Edward in front of Aro asking to die. No, I couldn't let it happen.

Charlie was saying something, "Alice we need to talk."

I had no time, "Charlie, I'm sorry I have to go."

I dashed as fast as I dared with a human watching.

"But Alice," he shouted after me.

I didn't wait, I jumped in the car and drove.

I had tried to keep Bella's death from Edward but he must have been told or seen on the news.

I pulled over as soon as I was clear of houses. I looked for Edward's future. It kept alternating between black or him feral with red eyes in a filthy cell, the remains of his meals piled around him as he rocked in foetal position. He must have kept changing his mind over something.

I had to change his future. I decide to go to him. I looked at his future again to see us both walking out of Volterra talking and laughing.

I rang the airline to book the first flight to the nearest airport to Volterra. I set off for Seattle as fast as the car would go.

Carlisle's car would get towed but that was the least of my worries. I phoned him and left a quick message about the car and my destination. The flight was boarding. I darted though the airport, only just making the flight. Had I been delayed only a few more minutes the next flight was hours later.

When I got the air hostesses attention I asked not to be disturbed. I pulled on an eye mask and leaned back so I appeared to be sleeping. I spent the entire flight trying to get a clear vision of what was coming but I could get only flashes. The vision of Edward and I leaving was still clear, so I clung to that, knowing we would be okay.

On arrival I stole the fastest car I could find in long term parking. It would be three more days until it would be missed. A yellow Porsche may not be the most inconspicuous of vehicles but I could see I would get to Volterra without a problem.

I drove through the night, getting to Volterra before dawn. The traffic into the city was heavy even so early but it was St. Marcus's day, a huge celebration for the local humans. The irony of a day celebrating vampires being driven from the city, ha, it's Vampire central!

I made my way quickly to the Castle before the sun rose.

The receptionist was human, she had a name tag, 'Gianna'. I asked for an audience with the brothers. Her eyes widened when she heard my name, as she whispered, "Another one."

She rang through, I was able to hear the other side other the conversation as clearly as her so I waited for someone to come and escort me to the throne room.

A vampire with similar build to Emmett came for me. He never spoke. The three brothers were sat waiting. The guard stationed around the room. Edward stood in front of the brothers waiting for their decision. Most eyes turned to me as I entered but some remained locked on Edward.

"Ah, Alice Cullen. You are just in time," Aro gestured for me to join Edward.

I bought the visions of Edwards future to the front of my mind so he could see them. I told him I had to do something and showed him the vision I had as soon as I decided to come to him.

"I'm sorry," is all he whispered to me.

Aro was smiling with glee, Edward just grimaced.

Aro spoke, "We have deliberated over Edwards request. We decline."

"But," Edward snapped his head up to protest.

Aro just raised his hand, "The Cullen family have flouted the law. The law exists for a good reason,"

Edward collapsed on the floor screaming, "No."

My eyes snapped to Aro's as I bent to wrap my arm around Edward.

"He has seen the reason for the law, a human that knows of us must turn or die. When we defeated the Romanians we put a stop to the torture they permitted, by enforcing this law. Any human that spends extended time with a vampire will either turn or die if the vampire leaves them. It is a tortuous death, I'm told the pain is worse than the burn of venom. It seems she lived nearly a full year from his memories. From what we know it is rare to survive a full month. She must have been an exceptional human. Pity, I would have liked to have met her," the only emotion in his voice was regret at not meeting Bella.

Oh, what did we do. I collapsed next to Edward. We clung to each other as dry sobs tore through us.

As the sobs subsided I remembered the receptionist, "What of Gianna?"

"She was a pet to a vampire. He is no longer with us. Gianna works here to survive. She is useful for now," he was dismissive of her.

Aro smirked as he turned to his brothers, "What punishment do the Cullen's deserve?"

"Why must you drag these things out? Just kill them all and be done with it," Caius spat out.

"Marcus?" Aro waited as Marcus stared at Edward then me.

Marcus put his hand out to Aro. Aro looked at us then smirked, "Yes."

"We will give you a choice. For the crimes of the Cullen 'family'," he sneered family, "either the entire 'family' will spend 100 years in the dungeons for the crime or," then he smiled an evil smile, "you two will join the guard and work for us, cutting all ties with the others. Choose."

I looked at the visions again. If we took the first choice each of the family ended up in the same state I had seen Edward, red eyed and feral. The second choice was the one I had seen with Edward and I leaving Volterra, talking and laughing. I looked for the rest of the family, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie were all together living free. My Jasper, my poor Jasper was still golden eyed but he looked lost. He was with Peter and Charlotte. I had been so hurt about leaving Bella, I had taken it out on him. My heart felt shattered, how could I hurt the one I love.

Edward watched the visions with me. I looked at Edward, there was no choice. He nodded. We did the only thing we could.

"We will join the guard," my voice sounded as dead as I felt.

Aro grinned, Caius rolled his eyes and Marcus, well Marcus remained as impassive as ever.

"Chelsea," Aro called.

Aro explained, "Chelsea will severe your bonds. You will need to let go of the bonds as you feel her working on them. It is not a comfortable process. We will leave while she works."

She started with Emmett's bond, it felt like she had torn off a piece of my heart. It was all I could do not to cling on to it. The others were no easier but at least I knew what to expect. When she ripped away Jasper's bond I was bereft, I felt like a traitor letting it go without a fight.

She forced a bond to Aro and the rest of the guard. It felt like thorns digging into the wounds of the lost bonds.

I hardly noticed Edward when he went through the same. She left us in a heap on the floor. That's how they found us hours later when the brothers returned.

Marcus looked at us and just nodded. The same vampire that escorted me in, I learnt his name was Felix, took us to our rooms.

We began training the following day.

Aro allowed us to maintain our diet but Caius was not happy about it.

Days merged. My vision of Edward and I leaving Volterra came to pass. It was our first hunting trip without an escort. We returned to Volterra within a few hours.

Most of our work in the guard was within the castle. Edward became Aro's right hand man in meetings or they had him in the next room to listen in to others thoughts as meetings were held.

I was given targets to watch. The first few months I spent getting to know all the guard to facilitate my visions of their future.

Edward was on a fact finding mission when Victoria attacked him. I didn't see it in time to stop the attack but I got help out to him before she could do any permanent damage. She ran as soon as help arrived.

She was another that got added to my watch list.

My visions became fewer and less revealing gradually in the months that followed. They kept coming but I had less and less notice of events. It was as if everyone I was watching knew of my ability and actively worked against it.

I couldn't see the outcome of this war.

**End of flashback. Back to Bella POV**

"I think you are the reason why I couldn't see the outcome. I can't see you. Even the future of those in contact with you becomes foggy to me," Alice concluded looking at me.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Edward was shaking. He held up a hand to stop Carlisle from comforting him.

Let me speak first, "I thought I knew best. I was wrong, so very wrong. I have learnt so much in my time here from Marcus. I had no idea that both sides of a bond suffer similarly. By walking away, I destroyed the best thing that ever happened to me. I didn't function after I left you, Bella, I believe it must have been the same for you," he looked at me for confirmation. I just nodded.

He squeezed his eyes shut and took in a shuddering breath.

"I saw what Marcus showed Aro regarding the decision that day when they removed our bonds from all of you. Marcus has the greatest respect for Carlisle. He knew Caius and found what he believed to be the best way to respect the law and still cause the least harm to his friend. Marcus used Aro's greed for collecting vampires with powers to sate Caius's black and white view of justice. The bonds Alice and I had were all chosen bonds not 'pull' bonds. They could be broken by Chelsea but they can also be re-built with time. The sentence appeared harsh but when we have served for long enough Marcus believed we would be able to return to our family. I broke when I read of your death. Marcus's own loss and dogged determination to survive another day if only to keep her memory alive, helped me realise that that hope can be reborn. I held on to my memories of you and what a positive influence you were on me.

The 'pull' only happens between Vampires. Marcus told me how strong the mating bonds were between us. They were strong for a chosen bond. He thinks the strength of the bonds were more intense due to our diet and lifestyle. Alice and I fractured our bonds when we left you both.

I hold hope that one day I will find the 'pull'. Alice and I have both had lots of time to dwell on our mistakes.

Bella, I only ever wanted you to be happy. I can never apologise enough for my actions and the repercussions. I have seen in Carlisle's memories what Marcus said to you. I wish you and Jasper the greatest of happiness with each other. I can see how good you are for each other. I hope one day you can find it in your hearts to forgive Alice and I. We would love the chance to build a friendship with you both. I know we don't deserve anything from either of you after the way we each treated you but," he took another shuddering breath, "Please give us a chance to redeem ourselves".

I had harboured so much animosity yet they had not had an easy ride either. I forgave them as I heard their story. I wanted all the Cullen's to understand they all had a part in the events and hope they would learn from their mistakes.

I tried to respond to Alice's story and Edward's heartfelt words, "I paid a huge cost for your arrogance".

Edward looked even more forlorn and the others nodded in agreement. I looked at each of them in turn, "I don't mean just Edward. He walked away without giving me a choice but he wasn't the only one that left. The entire family left me. I heard the excuses that it was for my own good but by flouting your own laws, I learnt the hard way why those laws were made. You all thought yourselves above the law. His goodbye was malicious, he used my greatest weaknesses against me. Even without the withdrawal symptoms I would have been a mess. The rest of you left me without a word, I wasn't even worth the time to say good bye to. I thought of you all as the family I never had. I felt I was just discarded like throwing out the trash. I have to take some blame onto myself for isolating myself from everyone else, apart from your family but you were everything I ever wanted; a boyfriend, best friend, a caring family and a future with you all. I never cared that you were vampires. I lost everything when you all left, I had no-one to talk to about what happened. Had I just had a contact number I could have asked for help or at least had someone to confide in. You left me to go through severe withdrawal with a vampire hunting me for vengeance. Even if you kept an eye on me from afar, had anyone one of you taken the time to turn up for my funeral or even spoken to Charlie, I would have been saved five years of pain. We may even have had chance to nip this war in the bud before it even started. Mistakes compounded mistakes. Jasper was also a victim of your treatment, with your lack of trust in him. He lived in self-loathing for all those years when his wife and so called family failed to give him the support and understanding he needed. Edward and Alice have paid a steep price for all the mistakes, theirs and yours. The question is are you going to start and act like the family you claim to be and work through this adversity together?"

I had mostly forgiven them for the past but it was nice to make them realise how much their actions had cost, not just me but each other. They need to see their mistakes to learn from them.

Carlisle took the first step to reconciliation by asking Alice and Edward, "If Aro will allow you to leave here, will you come home with us and try to rebuild the familial bond we had?"

With hope in each of their faces, they both nodded.

Carlisle looked at Jasper and I, "Will you two come home to us?"

I looked at Jasper then back at Peter, Charlotte and Garrett. I let Jasper feel my disagreement to Carlisle's suggestion and my feelings of family to those that have been there for us. Jasper answered for us, "Our home is with the family that took us in," he looked at Peter and Charlotte and smiled, "We will still visit and you can visit us but our home is no longer with you".

Carlisle looked disappointed but understanding. Emmett looked forlorn. I looked at each face and knew my first priority.

I turned to Garrett and grasped his hands, "Where ever we live you will have your own room but," I looked over at Kate and smiled, reaching one hand to her, "I think it will be a double room for the pair of you to move between your two families".

Jasper nodded his agreement and grinned then stuck his tongue out at Kate, "Is she right cousin?"

Kate couldn't hide her smile. Garrett shook his head as he grinned widely at Kate's reaction, "So you are telling me I went from having no-one to having two families to keep happy. What did I let myself in for when I claimed you as a sister?"

We spent hours with the extended families.

We learn how the family had been involved with the conflict. Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie spent most of the battle in a triage unit putting injured vampires back together. The Denali's all assisted transporting the injured. Edward and Alice were both involved in the defence. The attack that cost the Volturi the greatest number of lives happened when Aro's body was taken over. Edward and Alice were sent to the front line for that confrontation and both were injured. Emmett with his size and strength makes a powerful defender. He ignored orders rushing to Edward and Alice's defence. He saved them before their injuries became fatal but his arm got ripped off in the process. All parts were found and reattached but healing isn't instantaneous.

Emmett helped the Denali's as he healed. Edward and Alice were put to work using their gifts from a more secure position.

Talking to the individuals I started to get to know them.

Irena is introspective and kept to herself, polite but had little conversation.

Tanya is abrasive. She came across as annoyed at her sister for her immediate bond to Garrett. Annoyed at me for Edward ever having any interest in me. The bond between Jasper and I she also found offence with. She pursued Edward at every opportunity. Each time he scurried away like a frightened mouse and she became even more aggressive with everyone else.

Eleazar and Carmen are a lovely couple, friendly and easy to talk to.

Kate fits well with Garrett, she is full of life and humour. Garrett and Kate have joined at the hip since their eyes met, no doubt that they have a 'pull' bond.

Peter and Charlotte talked to everyone but appeared most comfortable with either Jasper and I or Garrett and Kate.

Edward and Alice were unable to stay with us very long before going back to their duties. Alice looks so small and forlorn. Her energy and exuberance made her large than life, but that's gone.

They have lost so much and wear a mask of arrogance and snobbery but the mask slips and they look empty underneath. Edward looks every bit a nervous, insecure seventeen year old boy. It hurts to see them both so lost.

It seems weird, I feel that I want to mother them both, not that I would ever act on that. They just seem like little lost children.

I think many of their old bonds are tentatively forming. Time will be the only way to strengthen them properly

I was ready to have a break and escape to let my head catch up with events. Jasper felt my discontent and made our excuses. We went for a walk in the walled gardens. It was our first time properly for just the two of us since Garrett arrived on the doorstep. We were both lost in our own thoughts but taking comfort in the others presence.

The threat in the shape of Victoria had hung over me for so long was gone. The other weight that I had never even acknowledged before was seeing our ex's and their reactions to us both individually and as a couple. If I am honest I held back from Jasper in fear Alice would want him back as soon as they were reunited. I imagined many scenarios of how their reunion could have gone. Alice screaming 'Jazzy' as she leapt into his arms kissing him, him kissing her back and realising he wanted her not me, is the one that scared me the most.

I have fallen hook line and sinker for Jasper, I am head over heels for him. My fear of getting discarded had hold of me far tighter than I realised. I know what I have with Jasper is more than I ever hoped to have with Edward. I know Jasper would never do what Edward did but fears are rarely rational. Seeing those two put most of my fears to rest.

I no longer held any animosity for any of the Cullen's. I had mostly forgiven all the Cullen's except Edward and Alice when they came to visit after my change. I still held back from them until today. Hearing Alice and Edward's side and having one last dig at them has allowed me to let the last of the anger and hurt go.

As I walked it was as though all the chains that held me back were released, leaving them firmly where they belong – in my past.

I am ready to move forward. I want Jasper in every way, I am happy to move at whatever speed he is comfortable with. I know that no-one else can ever mean as much to me as he does. I just want to be with him however he wants me.

Peter, Charlotte and Garrett are family to me. I hope they will be part of my daily life for the foreseeable future.

The Cullen's at the moment are distant family, we used to be close but the way in which they left me when they moved away broke much of my trust of them. I want to rebuild a relationship with them. I know it will never be the same as it was but I think we can have more resilient bonds built on a more stable foundation.

The little I have seen of Kate gives me high hopes she to will be up there with Peter, Char and Garrett.

Carmen and Eleazar I can see becoming close friends.

The other two sisters I'm not as sure about. Irena is still grieving and I will always be aware I am withholding the truth from her. Tanya comes across as a spoilt bitch and honestly I don't even want to try and get to know her. I'll try to give her the benefit of the doubt but I think her only chance is a personality transplant. Hey, Vampires can have profound changes, I just hope hers is sooner rather than later!

Edward and Alice come across as stuck up, arrogant and superior but very lost underneath the veneer the Volturi painted them with. I hope they get the chance to return home and find themselves. I think Jasper and I will take longer to become comfortable with them but I hope we can forge a friendship with them both.

Considering our current location I still don't trust Aro. I'm not worried about him any more. I think that might be his problem with us though. I'm sure he sees us as a threat capable of overthrowing him if we so chose.

I'm happy to work with them to make it safe for vampires to return home. If he tries to force our hand he won't like the consequences.

All I want is to go home and live in peace with my family, woe betide anyone that comes in the way of that.

We had done another full circuit of the gardens as I mused.

I felt a balance and acceptance settle within me as my thoughts came to their conclusions.

I looked up at Jasper as I tightened my hug around his waist. A smile grew on my face just because I was with him. His smile matched mine.

He spun me into his arms and leant in, kissing me with a searing passion. I returned his kiss with a matching fervour.

Hands roamed and the intensity between us increased.

Jasper broke the kiss and stilled his hands, the fire still in his eyes, "I know we both agreed to wait until we have privacy but I'm finding it hard to wait even a minute longer".

"We both know if we take that step we won't come up for air for a very long time," I said and he smiled a dirty knowing smile that made it even harder for me follow through with my next words, "We need to finish here then we have nothing but time to play with," I smiled then with devilish ideas dancing in my mind on how we could play. I may be innocent in many ways but I don't think Jasper has taken into account how much I like to read and how widely read I am. I never went back to previous classics I used to read. I did however read plenty on biology and how do I describe the stories I enjoyed, top shelf reading? I also found plenty of interesting stuff on the web in many different forms. I'm sure my book learning will be fun to explore.

"Hell Woman, when you are putting out emotions like that do you know how hard it is to wait?" the pure lust in his voice is making me second guess myself but I want to get rid of the Aro niggle.

I could happily stay in my Jasper cocoon indefinitely but now isn't the time. I knew our time would come but not today. I put a little bit of distance between myself and the obvious sign of how ready Jasper is to stop waiting.

"Arghh, I want to take my time with you. Here is not the right place. Soon though," he dropped his forehead to mine as he spoke.

They may say anticipation sweetens and heightens the emotions but we are heading for the stratosphere with pure sugar at this rate!

"Back?" I asked with a sigh.

"Suppose so," he nodded reluctantly. He pulled me tight into his side as we walked back.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

We heading back to the room we shared. Peter, Charlotte, Garrett and Kate were sat chatting when we returned. Our famous five had increased to six!

My priority is to remove the problem that Aro has the potential to be.

We discussed Aro's request. We were united in our decision. We were willing to assist over here for a limited time. All we want is a quiet, peaceful life. We are willing to fight to maintain that lifestyle but we don't want to have the intrusion everyday. Peter is happy to continue with his extensive contacts and help to keep control as he has been doing the last few weeks if they want that.

We sat talking, just random conversations getting to know Kate better. I heard footsteps in the corridor. I hopped up and went to the door. It was one of the Volturi guard from the cloak.

"Hi, you are one of the guard?" I asked to confirm my assumption.

He looked as exhausted as it is possible to get for a vampire but smiled when I spoke, "Yes, I'm Demetri. Can I be of assistance?"

"Would you let Aro know we are ready to give him an answer?" I told him.

He frowned slightly, "I can but can you tell me who you are?"

I laughed, "Sorry, I'm Bella Swan. If you let Aro know the Swan's and Whitlock's have his answer?"

His eyes widened as he heard our names, "No, it is I that is sorry. I have heard of you. I am honoured to meet you," he bowed low.

Oh no, how do you respond to that?

Jasper took over for me, "Thank you Demetri, if someone could call us when Aro is available we would be grateful".

Jasper led me back inside the room and shut the door. His hands were clenched into fists, forearms bulging.

Worried, I looked into his eyes as I rubbed his tense arms, "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

He took a deep breathe then blew it out, "Demetri, his reaction to you was unacceptable".

"Err... You mean when he bowed?" I was confused.

Peter laughed so hard he was holding his sides. The others were nearly as bad.

Jasper was still furious.

"I don't understand?" I don't get it. What had Jasper so angry yet the others bent over in laughter.

"Didn't you see the salacious way he looked at you? The lust he was throwing out was disgusting," he spat out.

I shuddered at the thought, "I didn't notice. I just wanted to get this meeting with Aro over, he was just a convenient messenger. I'm sorry," I tried to project my disgust and remorse.

His anger washed away as remorse took its place, "No, I'm not angry at you. It's just..."

Peter at last found his voice, "Jasper's jealous. It was all he could do not to rip him to shreds for looking at you that way".

Embarrassment filled the room as he apologised, "I'm sorry. Forgive me".

I flung my arms around him, "Nothing to forgive. Thank you for coming to my rescue, I didn't know how to deal with him. I just want to shudder if I think of him looking at me like that".

He hugged me back, I could just make out the soft words he whispered into my hair, "I suppose I'll have to get used to that sort of reaction with such a beautiful, amazing mate".

We were still wrapped around each other when a knock came at the door. Peter jumped up to answer the door. Jasper stiffened but didn't loosen the hug.

As Peter opened the door I looked up and smiled at Jasper, my eyes locking with his.

I heard Demetri informing Pater that Aro would see us immediately in his study. Peter told him we knew our way and dismissed him. He closed the door.

Only then did Jasper relax.

I whispered to him so softly I was sure the words would only be heard by him, "I made my choice. The only man I want is the one I'm holding. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or feels, only you matter to me".

He whispered back just as softly, "But there are better men than me out there".

"Not for me, I have the man that is the one for me. There is no better man for me. You are it for me, you complete me. Never doubt that," I didn't say the words, they just aren't enough but I focused on my feelings for him, let him feel the overwhelming, all consuming love I feel for him.

His eyes were swimming as he whispered back, "Me too".

I didn't have time to enjoy or dwell as Peter was yelling for us to hurry up.

Kate was dragged along with us too.

Peter gave her no choice, "You want to be with Garrett don't you?"

She nodded.

"Well that makes you officially part of the group, you're stuck with the rest of us till we get out of this country. Might as well get used to it!" he concluded cheerfully.

Aro was overjoyed when we agreed to help. The problem was his idea of our assistance and our idea didn't match. He wanted us to go and wipe out any vampires that hadn't supported the Volturi. We would only help with those that wanted to attack.

We spent hours debating the terms of our help.

Aro tried to get us agree to help until all threats had been eliminated but I strongly disagreed to that. He would use it as an excuse for us to stay with the Volturi forever. He would always see something as a threat.

We all felt like a stuck record, repeating again and again, we fought for the Volturi, for the freedom of Vampires everywhere without any external pressure. We were willing to fight again if, big IF, if it becomes necessary. We don't want to be part of the guard but we would happily assist in matters bigger than they could cope with.

Aro struggled to grasp the concept that we had no interest in being 'in power'.

We believe in the theory, 'Live and let live'.

Jasper and I did most of the talking. Garrett and Kate excused themselves early in the meeting telling us we could speak for them. Peter is too prone to sarcasm which Aro didn't not react well to. Jasper just glanced at Char then at the door, she took the hint getting Peter to leave with her. We, at last, started to make headway.

I suggested a time limit for us to stay in Europe. Aro wanted years, we offered days. We compromised on one week. Well, we argued, he never crossed the line into threatening but it got close. I got fed up and informed him we would leave immediately or we could stay for one week to help out. He huffed and mumbled, Marcus put his hand on Aro's and Aro agreed to the offer, one week it was.

As the hours wore on the tone changed. I could see we would be helping to shape the future of the Volturi.

Aro grudging accepted we would help fire fight any problems, if we believed it was a true problem. We won't kill indiscriminately.

The fight had eliminated the Volturi's most ardent dissenters. The Volturi had lost some powerful members; Caius, Chelsea, Jane, Alec, Felix to name but a few. Aro knew he couldn't hold people as he did before. He had to change the way he worked. He could see the benefit of the way Peter delegated to get control in the States. By making individuals responsible for their own safety but with back up for extreme circumstances there was less animosity for those at the top.

We sold Aro on the idea of each country having it's own team, all reporting back to Volterra.

With losing Chelsea it would no longer be viable to have such a large group of vampires under one roof, so to speak. Letting smaller groups take responsibility for their own area solved this problem. Aro would retain overall command and having all the groups report to him, while he controls elite forces to act as clean up crews if local forces can't deal with it, keeps him happy.

In our negotiations we managed to procure Alice and Edward's departure from Europe. As members of the guard they would co-ordinate with the American branch of the new Volturi and report back to Aro. It took just a few subtle hints that Aro would have to deal with Peter himself if he didn't have a team in place that tipped the balance in their favour.

We agreed to help if his elite forces weren't up to the job. I thought that was a clever idea. To call us in he had to admit failure so hopefully it would be a rare occurrence.

It took hours and hours of manipulating and wrangling to get a compromise we could all live with. Give Aro an inch and he takes a mile. Marcus had a been invisible at the start of the meeting, we had him joining in and laughing towards the end.

I came out of the meeting with a grudging respect for both Aro and Marcus. Thank goodness Vampires can't get headaches or my head would be splitting after that bout.

I contacted Charlie and the Wolves updating them fully on everything that had happened. I stuck to using the convoluted system Charlie insisted on, to stop Victoria from finding out about me. I suppose contact will always have to be circumspect since I'm officially dead but I hope we can cut through a few layers to speed the process up now she has gone.

We remained in Volterra for the one week as agreed. Most of the guard were out ensuring it was safe for everyone to return home. We remained in Volterra getting called out when they came across any pockets of resistance. Jasper and I had little time for ourselves. We were either updating family with the latest from the extended meetings with Aro and Marcus or we were fighting. We trained hard in Volterra getting Kate up to speed and learning to work with the guard.

Kate tagged on when we were called to fight but she usually to stay to the back to tend the fire as she watched and learnt how we worked together.

The first time back in the field the guard watched us in awe. We stayed true to the methods we used in the States. We first talked to the group, only those that tried to attack us were eradicated. The rest we allowed to leave, apart from the one Jasper could feel was lying to us. He joined the smoke of the others in his group while the survivors ran.

Many of the guard had spent so long with the Volturi it was the only way of life they knew, the way they thought Vampires had to live. We opened many eyes.

In that week there were only a few occasions when I was away from Jasper for any length of time. I spent time with Kate and Garrett as they dragged me away to practice letting Kate's power through my shield so she could fight with us more effectively and I was able to learn to control the mental aspect of the shield. Aro and Marcus co-opted Jasper to confirm some tactical details for the new set-up. I was bullied into going shopping. I have never enjoyed shopping for it's own sake. I only had the one outfit of my own, all the rest were others cast-offs. My other set of clothes got binned on the first day in Volterra, even I admit those clothes had seen better days. The women in our extended family put their collective foot down and took me shopping. I'll need at least three suitcases to take all the stuff home. They don't understand the concepts of 'no' and 'enough'.

I also had to spend quite a bit of time with Aro, Marcus and Carlisle going over my research into the effect of a vampires scent on humans.

Gianna hadn't survived. Her heart stopped. They had a few vampires that had been doctors as humans that did an autopsy on her. The venom from the vampire that had her as a pet had started working but her body didn't withstand the slow change.

My research gave them new insight. They had no idea about the effects of vampire scent.

Carlisle and the Volturi intended continuing with the research. I agreed to help and act as a consultant but not for a few years.

We don't know why I survived but others haven't. I came up with a few possible ideas. I reasoned that with the combination of the vampire scents and the shape-shifters scents I was able to control the change unknowingly. The shape-shifters scents halted the withdrawal effects but allowed the venom to replicate sufficiently to heal and reinforce my organs as the changes took effect. The vampire scent paused the change to allow my body to heal and regroup before the next onslaught.

I hope no-one ever has to go through the torture I endured, yet the only way we will get answers to many of our questions is if an unlucky soul is in the same boat.

A week may only be seven days but Aro wrung every second he could out of our presence.

_A/N_

_Hi_

_Holidays are bad news when my boys borrow my laptop. They managed to delete my file with this story in. I lost nearly 25 pages of future chapters and ideas. :( Let's just say this laptop out of bounds now. I have some catch up work to do. I'll continue to post as fast as I can but it might take a few more days than it normally does!_

_Thanks for reading and hopefully reviewing - I hope you are enjoying the story!_

_:)-J  
_


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Twenty-four hours, just twenty four hours until our flight out of here. Somehow Jasper had wrangled us a few short hours of freedom from the constant demands on us.

We were back in the gardens. I felt such a sense of peace and tranquillity here. We walked wrapped up in each other. The gentle moon lit glow illuminated our way.

Jasper led me into the arbour at the far end of the gardens. He sat down on the bench pulling me onto his lap. It was only then I noticed how tense he had become.

"Jasper?" I whispered in concern, as I lifted my hand to cup his face.

He smiled softly and sighed, "I had a long speech worked out, all the things you mean to me but it's not me. Let me show you what you mean to me..."

With that he started projecting emotion. Each emotion came individually, just a trickle at first, a taste. He started with respect and awe, adoration and pride, compassion and exhilaration. The stream of emotions became almost a blur of joy, happiness and love. The emotions built in both intensity and complexity. The trickle of emotion became a torrent, the fervency overwhelmed me. Love is too small a word to describe the complexity and depth of the feelings he revealed but it was his love for me that washed over me, drowning me with the intensity.

His eyes reflected the truth behind the emotions he showed me. It felt as though he opened his soul to me.

I reeled from the magnitude of emotion. As he pulled back the projection of his love for me I did the only thing I could. I concentrated on my feelings for him. I stared into his beautiful topaz eyes as I opened the floodgates in my own heart so he could feel in no uncertain terms that his emotions for me are fully reciprocated. I held nothing back. As we shared our inner most emotions they felt to consolidate even further, binding us even more closely, a single entity in two vessels. Our very souls, our spirits, entwining even closer, as two became one.

As individual awareness returned Jasper slipped from under me. He lowered me gently onto the bench as he knelt in front of me, "Words can never describe how much you mean to me. Labels will never be enough but I want the world to know that you are the only one for me, you are everything to me. Will you be my mate, my wife, my everything?"

All Renee's warnings and cautions about settling and getting married didn't even cause a blip on my conscience. I didn't need to think. My answer was a forgone conclusion. Without Jasper I would be nothing, less than nothing. The pain I live in for so long would be but a drop in the ocean to the pain I would be in if I had to be without him.

"Yes," I breathed out. I peppered him with kisses, whispering, "Yes," between each kiss.

He pulled me into a kiss so intense I swooned.

As I regained my senses I told him, "You already are my everything, I would be honoured to shout it to the world".

He glanced down suddenly shy, "Would you be too upset if I already made plans?"

I laughed, "If it was anyone else then, possibly yes! You know how little I like surprises and attention but I don't think you would ever do anything to purposely make me uncomfortable".

"In one of the meetings with Aro and Marcus I asked about a Mating ceremony. They thought it was a wonderful idea. Is tomorrow too soon?" he asked nervously.

Since becoming a vampire I learnt more about vampire conventions. This week had been enlightening as well as eventful. Marriage is a human institution, vampires rarely marry. The vampire equivalent is Mating. A formal mating can only be confirmed by Marcus and approved by the Volturi. Had Alice and Jasper been formally mated their bond, by Volturi's own laws, would not have been broken without Jasper agreeing to relinquish it. The laws surrounding a formal mating are complex and binding. They protect the couple and any associated coven and alliances.

"Umm, Is tomorrow too soon to let every other Vampire know that you are mine? What a dilemma?" I teased him with a smile.

My feeling of joy and acceptance would leave him in no doubt how I feel.

"There are quite a few Vampires having their bond confirmed tomorrow. When word got out they intended performing one mating ceremony, I think everyone decided while they were here it was a good time to formalise their unions. We can wait if you would prefer?" Aww, bless, he sounds so nervous.

"I don't care what anyone else is doing. You are who I want. The added bonus of not having to come back any time soon, sounds good too!" A brief regret hit me, "I just wish Charlie could be part of it. I wish he could see how happy you make me".

Jasper smiled, "Well, I'm sure you wouldn't want Charlie here but what if I told you I managed to contact the Wolves and we have a plan to perform a Wedding ceremony there. You can see you Dad and the Wolves even if others can't know you are still in the land of the living".

My eyes widened, "Really?"

He just nodded.

I flung myself into him. Hugging and kissing him with abandon.

I had been told the reasons for Vampires not marrying, it was all excuses about paperwork and changing identities on a regular basis. I think it's more to do with another rule to keep the Volturi as leaders. Renee flitted from interest to interest, religions were no different. As a result religion has never been of great importance to me. To me, mating and marrying are interchangeable terms, they are both a commitment to be together.

I may hate the spotlight on me but to stand with Jasper in front of everyone makes me swell with happiness and pride. The greatest gift he can give me is not only to want to stand with me here but also to stand with me in front of my father and the Wolves. I still can't get over him contacting them and arranging that for me. If it is even possible to love him more than I already do then doing that for me makes me love him even more.

Jasper asking me to be his mate and his wife gives me a sense of belonging. I see it as shouting to those that know us we love each other and intend to stay together. It's our promise to each other that today we want to be together for the foreseeable future. I think the biggest lesson I got from Charlie and Renee is you have to work at a relationship to stay together. You both have to compromise and be there for each other. Time can change many things, you have to grow with the changes. The fairy tale ending, 'And they lived happily ever after', is great for kids but naive in the real world. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but I intend fighting to keep Jasper at my side for as long as I possibly can. If I could dream, I would dream we will be together forever. I expect life to get in the way, I just hope it pulls us closer rather than causing distance.

I listen to myself and feel like such a cynic. I let myself relax. I will enjoy the excitement and promise of our joining. I leave worries of the future for just that, the future! No need to make problems where none exist.

He pulled just far enough away to let me know he had something else to say. Neither of us spoke, we didn't need to. Jasper speaks volumes not only by sending emotion but with his eyes and the expressions on his face.

He chuckled at my impatience, "Just a couple more things, the first is a warning. There are so many mating ceremonies tomorrow they are starting at dawn. Ours will be the last of the day. I can't think why but there is a lot of interest in our mating so Aro wants, in his words, to 'save the best 'til last'. We will go as a Coven, Peter and Charlotte are confirming their bond too. The women are all getting ready together. I'm sure they will come to steal you away from me as soon as we go back inside".

"I'm never happy being away from you but if I have escaped all the planning stages unscathed, I'm sure I can put up with a few hours of primping, preening and gossip!" I told him with a chuckle.

I hate the attention, getting to share it with so many others and have Charlotte and Peter there with us, sounds just perfect to me.

Jasper sat me back on the bench and knelt in front of me again, the mouth went into motion before I got my brain back in gear, "I'm having a serious case of deja vu here".

Jasper's serious face cracked into a grin, "I have something for you if you will consent to wearing it," he bought a little blue box into view.

The ring inside was gorgeous, not to big and showy but really classy. Something I could see myself wearing.

I would have worn any ring Jasper had got for me but the fact he knows me so well and picked something I love just makes me appreciate him all the more.

"Wow," is all I managed to enunciate as I nodded my acceptance.

The joy on his face was palpable as he pulled the ring from it's box and slipped it onto my ring finger. Even with my tiny, skinny fingers the ring looked right there.

We spent the rest of the night wrapped in each other.

It has been only a few short months since my life changed beyond recognition. Peter teases us relentlessly for taking the physical side of relationship slowly. Jasper keeps reminding him he waited nearly eight months for Charlotte to settle down from her newborn mood swings. I fortunately avoided the worst of the newborn insanity but I think a few months of insanity would be preferable to years of pain. We haven't exactly had the opportunity to move our physical relationship forward with everything that has been going on. It's not lack of enthusiasm on our behalf just lack of privacy.

I am ready, okay that might be an understatement, chomping at the bit, might be a better description of how ready I am to move forward our physical relationship. I know we are both ready but circumstances have been far from ideal. We have eternity in front of us. We have built a strong foundation of trust and respect in our time together. I had huge trust issues; my parents relationship, my first boyfriend and a so called best friend, added up to a lot of insecurities. Jasper has his own past to deal with. I think we have both healed many old wounds in our time together.

Jasper is so different in the way he treats me; we are partners, true equals. We were both broken, the time we have taken has been worth it. I think we are both stronger and more resilient for our experiences. I trust Jasper implicitly, only time and his instinctive actions could have built such a strong foundation.

As the sky started to lighten our tranquil retreat became a hive of activity. Our steamy kisses and wandering hands softened as the activity at the other end of the garden increased.

Jasper sighed, "The first ceremony is at dawn, we should head back in".

We reluctantly emerged from our leafy retreat and walked back through the gardens to the Castle. I noticed a few knowing smirks at our rumpled appearance but nothing could annoy me today!

We ducked in through a side door to return to our room. Inside was a welcoming party of squealing women and grinning men. Charlotte pounced and engulfed me in a hug to rival Emmett. I spun from one set of arms to another as they deafened us with their squeals of congratulations, Jasper had his back pounded with slaps from the men and hugs from the women.

Peter and Emmett bounced and squealed nearly as loudly as Charlotte and Esme. Garrett, Kate and Rosalie were more restrained but not by much. Carlisle was the most restrained of the group but the excitement affected even his controlled demeanour.

Charlotte, Kate, Esme and Rosalie started to drag me off down the corridor as Peter, Garrett and Emmett dragged Jasper in the opposite direction. Carlisle just laughed at the antics.

I pulled away from the women and dashed to Jasper. He picked me up in a all consuming hug and soundly kissed me before lowering me back to the floor, "We will continue this later," he whispered huskily in my ear.

Not to be outdone I pulled his towards me and took his ear lobe between my teeth and gently nibbled then whispered, "I look forward to it".

The fire that burned in me was reflected in his eyes as he was wrenched away from me by well meaning family. Only when he was finally round a corner did our eyes lose contact and I turned my attention to watch where I was been dragged off to.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

The excitement is contagious. We laughed and giggled as the morning wore on. It seems that virtually every couple is having a formal mating. The five of us were all getting ready for our unions later in the day. All those years ago I had only seen Esme as a mother figure but here today she is very much one of the girls, just a ball of excited nerves. We are all as bad as each other, winding each other up. It was almost a relief when Carmen arrived. She talked us all down a notch or two from our hyper enthusiasm.

Carmen tells me her and Eleazar had their ceremony before Eleazar left his position on the guard. Of the three covens, they are the only formally mated couple. If that is representative of all vampires I can understand why they would need to start so early to get through us all. All the couples in the Cullen's and Whitlock's are formalising their ties.

Kate is even more excited and bouncy than Alice used to get before a major shopping trip, and that is saying something! Kate and Garrett may only have had six days together but the strength of the pull and the fact they are both mature vampires allowed them confidence it's right for them. They haven't explored the physical side of their relationship yet. None of us have had the time or privacy with Aro's demanding work ethic – a polite way of saying he is a slave driver trying to screw every second of time out of us! I can't get over him allowing us to finish a day early but I'm sure not complaining.

Carmen keeps filling us in on Mating ceremonies she has witnessed in the past. She makes me laugh. She wants to be here with us, preparing and gossiping but she is also jealous to death that Eleazar is out there right now watching all the formalities. I think she is a Mating ceremony junkie! Eleazar has to be there for some of the formalities as coven leader, to confirm the coven alliances. It sounds like a back patting exercise.

I made the mistake of saying something to that effect as Carmen was busy styling my hair. I got the lecture! All about protection and promises, it seems allying the covens at a mating ceremony is a promise to protect the mated couple if they ever need it. It's a good way to make friends and try to garner the returned support from the new couple.

No mention was made about the two missing members of the Denali Coven, I think they have a bad case of envy. I'm glad we don't have any mood Hoovers sucking the positive cocktail of laughter and energy out of us.

When we were all poked, prodded and preened to what the others thought to be perfection we went to observe and more importantly find our men! I am immensely grateful there are no daft rules about not seeing your mate before the ceremony!

There was a line up of covens waiting for their turn. The list of the order of the day was posted all over the castle. It looked worse than a theme park for queues. Those waiting to formalise their union, mainly couples but there were a few trios and quads, I think, waited in one queue. The rest of their coven followed though next to them. The coven leaders, or entire covens wanting to ally with the new bondings, were off to the side. The flow, in theory, took everyone in one way and out another but with so many matings and so many covens wanting to ally themselves to numerous groups it just ended up as chaos!

A mating is about the bond, the Volturi don't care who makes up that bond. It's quite refreshing to see all the variations accepted. Renee used to tell me people are like presents under the tree at Christmas, some are all fancy and impeccably wrapped, others might be in tatty brown paper tied with a string, it's not important what they look like on the outside, it's the contents that matter. Marcus's gift, it seems, rips through all the pretty paper and excessive packaging straight to the core of things. I hadn't recognised the value of his gift until I stood watching the ceremonies, how much would you give to see how genuine, how strongly those around you truly care for you?

Eleazar, Carlisle and Jasper were ignoring the queuing protocols and stood off to one side, they made their way over to the relevant ceremony when required. They appeared to have a prime location and the crowds parted for them.

I was quite enjoying just watching but it wasn't long until Jasper spotted me. The smile that spread on his face dragged us together, through the throng, like the invisible pull of magnets.

It was the first time I had been dress up since before my change. Jasper didn't say a word to me but, boy, did he let me know what he thought of the way I look. The way his eyes raked over me before locking onto my eyes, the condensed emotion he projected. Dusk seems an eternity to wait. Damn, I just want to be alone with him.

Carlisle had to tap Jasper on his shoulder to break us out of our little bubble. They were all laughing at us. Neither of us had even heard them trying to get our attention. Jasper was needed for another of the mating ceremonies. The couple knew Jasper, Peter and Charlotte from the Southern wars, those that survived those times seem to have a special bond and they look out for each other.

Eleazar kept a close eye on the order of the day. During a lull in the Coven leaders duties Eleazar bought up something I hadn't considered, since I thought it was foregone, "Garrett, I know you have lead a nomadic life until the troubles started. I would like to formally offer you a place in the Denali Coven".

I think my face must have said everything Garrett needed to know as he responded to Eleazar, "Thank you Eleazar, I am honoured by your offer. You will always be Kate's family and I hope we can spend much time with you. I claimed Bella as a sister on our trip here. The first time I felt accepted and belonging with any Vampires is with the Whitlock's. If they will have us and if Kate agrees I would like to be part of the Whitlock coven".

Kate nodded her agreement then they looked at the four of us. It didn't take any thinking about. Jasper knows my feelings towards Garrett. Jasper looked at Peter and Charlotte as they grinned at Garrett and Kate.

Jasper just nodded, "Garrett, in our eyes we accepted you that night at the house. You became family after you and Charlotte were both taken. No matter what Coven you claim as yours, you will always be family to us and be welcome where ever we call home but Bella already told you that. We would be honoured to have you and Kate, formally, as part of the Whitlock Coven".

Eleazar didn't look at all surprised by the outcome. It was then I realised with the impending matings we needed to have details like that formalised before the ceremonies. He was just looking out for Kate, I have no doubt he already knew her feelings on the matter.

Before I knew it, it was time. The Cullen's were up next. Their ceremony took a while, with all Carlisle's friends and acquaintances coming out of the woodwork to claim alliances to the coven.

"They have a lot of vampires as friends," I whispered to Jasper.

He snorted, "I think you'll find they have a lot of hangers on that want our protection and they think by sucking up to Carlisle we are more likely to protect them. Fortunately Marcus records the bonds that exist, so a Coven is only expected to assist those they have true ties with, those that claim the ties but don't help when the going gets tough will find how little the Volturi like fair-weather friends".

"So Carlisle doesn't have to help those that allied themselves to him, just those he offered alliance to?"

Jasper nodded, "You'll also notice that by having a Mating approved by the Volturi each coven is also promising to support the Volturi, yet the Volturi haven't offered to reciprocate that support".

The crowds were thinning as Marcus confirmed the nature of the bonds and the scribe recorded them all. Eleazar and Jasper both went forward to register alliance.

Aro went through the formal oaths for the Coven to agree to before the matings could progress, "Carlisle as leader of the Cullen Coven..." blah, they want to get mated, they already turned up here when you need help. Arghh, I hate this sort of thing!

Emmett and Rosalie had their bond acknowledged then Carlisle and Esme. With each ceremony it amazes me how little is about the actual couple, so much is about the Coven. Even after all the pain I went though I was still pleased that Edward and Alice are still classed as members of the Cullen Coven.

We were up next. The six of us made our way forward. We stood to the right of Marcus and Aro as they announced us. What got me is the queue that had formed of those wanting to have an alliance with us, it was huge.

We didn't even know over half of the covens yet they all wanted to claim alliance to us. I thought it took a long time to get through the Cullen's supporters, this is ridiculous. Eventually we were down to Eleazar, Carlisle and all the American contingent – Roy and the rest of Peter's buddies, not to mention those that knew Jasper from the war.

Marcus smiled and nodded as he confirmed the bonds to the American contingent. They were the last, so I thought.

Aro stood, "I, Aro leader of the Volturi, would like to offer our alliance to the Whitlock Coven".

Shock, everyone was still, as only Vampires can be, and silent.

Marcus was first to move and speak, I heard his soft whisper to the scribe, "The bond is strong, respected equal, brotherhood".

Aro spoke again, "I have received a letter to request alliance to the Whitlock's. We only normally consider a request made in person so the bond can be confirmed but it would not be possible in this case. The shape-shifters of La Push have shown their commitment to Bella by their actions. The Cullen Coven have had a treaty with them for many years. We will allow the alliance. By allowing this alliance all other covens with an alliance to the Whitlock's must treat the Wolves with the respect they would accord another coven. To prevent any misunderstandings with their allies, the Whitlock's ask that you treat the Olympic Peninsular as out of bounds. Gold-eye vampires may enter the area but must follow the rules dictated in the treaty made with the Cullen's. Any questions regarding this, you may direct to myself, the Whitlock's or the Cullen's".

Aro nodded and turned to us to start his spiel, "Jasper and Bella, joint leaders of the Whitlock Coven,"

Joint, I looked at Jasper who just smiled and nodded. The other four were grinning at my amazement.

As Aro continued his speech, Marcus whispered, "I confirm the coven bonds, they see you as just as much the leader as Jasper. Either of you can speak formally for your coven".

I missed most of Aro's waffle, not that it mattered, he repeated the same thing each time.

Marcus confirmed Garrett and Kate's bond as 'strong instinctual bond with a growing consensual bond. Peter and Charlotte were next, again with a strong instinctual bond but an established consensual bond.

Jasper and I were the last couple. I heard Marcus whispering, "The strongest instinctual and consensual bonds I have ever seen, the two bonds have interwoven so completely it has joined them; amazing".

Aro announced us, the same as every other Mating of the day, "The Whitlock Coven, comprising of the Mated couple Garrett and Kate, the Mated couple Peter and Charlotte and the Mated leaders Jasper and Bella".

Unlike the rest of the announcements where everyone just smile and nods, maybe a small spoken, congratulations here and there, we got cheers. Clapping and cheering, even some screaming and stamping. As we moved to leave we were engulfed. Everyone wanted to congratulate us individually.

I felt the panic rising in my throat, so much for not being centre of attention. My shield emerged but I managed to keep it close, just enough to stop the groping hands and slapping.

Aro must have seen our dilemma, "Enough, step back NOW," his harsh voice cut through the screams.

Everyone stopped. Aro shouted more softly, without the threat in his voice this time, "We will allow the Mated Vampires to leave in peace. We can congratulate them at the party, in a more refined manner," the implied threat was missed by none.

We nodded our thanks to Aro as we made our retreat.

Not a word was spoken as we went back to our room. Garrett shut the door behind us and with the click as the catch caught the days events and shocks flooded over me.

Jasper's arm had been wrapped around me throughout. He now pulled me into his embrace. He lowered his head to rest on mine, "My Mate," he sighed. He fell backwards onto the sofa pulling me with him.

"I never really though what it would be like to have screaming fans just wanting to get close, that was an experience," Kate joked.

It broke the ice.

We all started joking and laughing, a much healthier outlet for the emotions of the day.

We talked about Aro and the Wolves quite a bit. I find it hard to believe the Wolves are now safe, even protected by the Volturi through us.

Aro's actions amazed us all.

Jasper helped us understand his actions better when he told us Aro's feeling towards us, friendship, respect and a dose of fear were predominant. From a military standpoint Jasper pointed out Aro had set us up, try to attack the Volturi and you have the Whitlock's to deal with. Looking at it from that point of view I had to laugh, he is a sly, crafty sod. I just hope our reputation and number of allies is enough to put anyone off from trying to attack us.

Charlotte eventually stood and dragged Kate and I with her, "We need to freshen up. After Aro stepping in earlier, there is no way we can skip the party".

We changed outfits and it didn't take us long to fix hair and make-up. Gossiping and congratulating took most of our time!

I finished packing my bag. I was only taking the one bag with me. Charlotte and Kate agreed to ship the rest for me.

I didn't even notice Peter and Garrett as we went back in the room. I only had eyes for one man. He had changed, black jeans and a black shirt. He looked delicious.

A party is the last thing I wanted but I was counting, only a handful of hours left until we leave Volterra for our flight back to the States. I keep chanting to myself, 'Eternity, we have eternity', but I'm getting very impatient now. I want him to myself, I want him now.

The party was about what I expected. The sort where you know only a handful of people but a whole load of strangers want to talk to you like a long lost friend. We didn't get mobbed again but we never got a single minute of peace. From the moment we entered the room to shaking off the last of the stalkers as we made our way to the garage for our get away car we had well meaning vampires thanking us, congratulating us and trying to pick our brains about where we were going and when we would visit them. Smile and wave, smile and wave. Jasper informed them he was taking me some place secluded for a few months. We made no promises to visit anyone. The biggest concession we made was 'we will contact you when we are ready'.

We at last said our last 'goodbyes' to all and sundry. Many followed us all the way to the garage. Peter and Charlotte blocked the entrance to the garage as Garrett and Kate gave us a hug and wished us well. Garrett and Kate took over guarding the door as the four of us jumped into the car.

Peter and Charlotte were driving us to the airport. Peter started with the innuendo as soon as we got in the car. A few 'Rosalie's' to the back of the head from Char discouraged him from keeping up his verbal diarrhoea for the entire journey.

Jasper had been quite insistent with Aro that we would be out of contact for a few months. Aro was not happy, but we didn't relent. Jasper kept our final destination secret from everyone. We don't trust Aro not to use his ability to find out contact details for us.

I had put a package in Charlotte's packed case back at the Castle. It had a note on that told her not to open it until she left Volterra, just in case she found it early. I didn't want to give it to Peter as Aro is more likely to try to get information from him. No-one knows where we are going, including me! In the package is a phone programmed with the number of the only phone in my bag. In the event of emergency Charlotte can use it to get in contact with us. I know she won't abuse it. It will be interesting if she tells Peter about it even after they have left Volterra! Jasper and I discussed how to leave emergency contacts without Aro learning of it, we decided this was the easiest option.

The rest of the Whitlock's were leaving Volterra tomorrow with Roy and Co. We said our farewells by the car. It was going to be hard where ever we did it. I hugged Charlotte as Peter and Jasper were unloading the bags then Peter. I was holding it together by the thinnest of margins. I needed to escape before I broke.

I picked up my bag and turned to go when Charlotte rushed back to me, "I'm going to miss you," she sobbed as she flung her arms back around me.

That finished me. I was a mess, "I'll miss you too, you're the best friend I've ever had, I love you".

Peter joined the hug. After all his teasing he was just as upset to see us go.

It became a four-way hug as our emotional outpouring overwhelmed Jasper.

We were drawing too much attention. Dry sobbing we pulled apart, "We will be together in just a few months, you'll sick of the sight of us in no time at all," I managed to whisper.

Peter replied, "Never, you're family now, we will never be sick of you two. The only reason we are letting you go is you need private time. Go catch that plane," his voice caught as he told us to go.

They climbed into the car and drove off. We stood and watched and waved until they had gone from sight.

I picked my bag back up, Jasper grabbed his and he pulled me into his side, "Come on, we have a wedding to get to".

_A/N_

_Many Thanks to all of you that sent me reviews for the last chapter. I tried to reply but fanfic isn't playing. I love reviews, they really do make my day. Thank you so much for taking the time to put a smile on my face!_

_:)-J_


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

I survived the flights or should I say the other passengers survived the flights. My throat was a furnace.

Fortunately the long drive from Seattle to Forks is through some pretty spectacular hunting grounds for vegetarian Vampires!

Jasper knows the terrain. He pulled into parking at a seemingly random trail head. It was deserted. We ran. After being cooped up for so long, not only travelling but also in Volterra it was so freeing just to run. It's exhilarating yet peaceful at the same time.

All I can say for the hunting is I overdid it. I was over hungry when I started and I was trying to make sure I had plenty for the next stop. I feel horrid and sloshy, it feels like I swallowed too much, it was trying to push its way back out, eugh.

I couldn't even run without feeling sick – vampires don't get sick. At least walking took longer to get back to the car. It was starting to settle a bit by then but …

Jasper drove closer to the speed limit for me. The next two hours in the car were uncomfortable to say the least but as we got closer to Forks I was feeling more myself again.

Dawn was just breaking, not that the sun can be seen for the cloud cover. Some things don't change.

Jasper pulled out his phone, pressed only a couple of buttons. I heard it ringing but Jasper hung up before it connected.

I raised an eyebrow at him, he just smiled, "They know we are almost with them, we didn't need to talk to confirm anything".

It was only a couple of minutes until he pulled off the road. The car couldn't be seen from the road.

Jasper opened his case and pulled a bag out of it. The bag had taken the best part of half of the space in his case.

"Don't even ask," he chuckled at me, "You'll find out soon enough!"

I scowled at him, but my feelings were humour and resignation.

The butterflies in my stomach were growing. My Dad, Billy and Sam have been in the loop about me all along but this is the first time I've seen them or even spoken to them since I left on the plane and they faked my death. Charlie is married now. Jake, how will Jake react?

My head is going at a hundred miles an hour.

Jasper pulled me into a hug, "They love you. They all missed you. Your Dad, Billy and Sam have told those that can know all the story. They can't wait to see you again. And most importantly, never forget, I am here for you regardless".

I sunk into the hug and let all the nervousness and worry drain out of me.

I loosened the hug and Jasper asked me, "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be," I replied as he locked the car and grabbed the bag.

Since he hadn't told me where we were meeting up I let him take the lead. The trees are too close to run easily hand in hand here.

I may have lived in Forks but I wasn't a Vampire then so the forests are new to me.

Jasper filled me in on our destination as we ran, "We are meeting at a clearing on the treaty line. Neutral territory for us all. It's where we had any meetings with the Quileute people".

I was anxious to see my Dad again but I hoped it was further so I had more time to settle my nerves!

All too soon I heard the squishy thud of hearts and breathes.

"Shouldn't they be here by now?" I heard whispered impatiently.

"Hush, we trying to surprise her with the welcome home party," came a harsh response, "They'll be here soon".

I came to a halt and looked at Jasper, he looked sheepish for a brief moment before grinning at me, "Let them have their fun? They really are happy you are visiting".

I shook my head at him then gave him a peck on the lips.

I pulled his hand toward the noisy clearing, the smell of wet dog got stronger as we closed in. I wrinkled my nose.

Jasper laughed at me, "Pretty ripe isn't it, but it should make it easier to be around the humans".

"Phew, To think I used to like the outdoorsy scent of the wolves!" we both laughed.

We were still laughing as we entered the clearing.

"Surprise," they all yelled. I would love to say it was co-ordinated but it was a garbled mess. Some had already finished shouting surprise as others only just realised we were there and then they shouted. It was loud, cheerful and friendly.

There were tents at the far end of the clearing. The camp fire was huge and well away from the tents. It looked like most of them had hurriedly got up when Jasper phoned them. Most were nursing a cup of coffee like a most precious belonging!

Sam was the first to break away from the group and make his way towards us. Charlie kept edging forward but Billy held him back. Sam threw stern glances back at Charlie trying to get him to stay back.

"Jasper, Isabella," Sam addressed us formally.

I sighed, "I know, I know. I'm a cold one now but Sam, you are family. I would put my own life on the line to protect you. You can see from my eyes what my diet is. I've been stuck in flying tin cans for the best part of a day without getting tempted to eat anyone. We are not going to hurt anyone. I just want to see my family".

Sam still stood strong and sure but I saw his eyes soften, "I had to be sure, the imprints are here. I wished for you to find a cure that wasn't this. It's one thing knowing but another seeing it," he took a deep breath then stepped closer, "You look happy".

I glanced at Jasper then back at Sam, "Jasper is the Vampire equivalent of my Imprint".

Jasper butted in, "As Bella is mine".

I smiled as Jasper then continued, "Sam, you know how easy it is to be happy when you have that sort of love. I left here with such a cloud over me I wanted to let you all see how happy I am in this life even if it is not what you would have chosen for me".

Sam closed the last distance between us and wrapped me in a hug, "We miss you Bella. I'm glad you came home. Come on, your Dad is chomping at the bit to see you".

I have never seen Charlie show so much emotion before. He dashed over sliding to a halt just before he reached me. He looked at me with worry in his eyes, "Is it... can I... Bell?"

I stepped slowly forward, keeping half an eye on Sam. I hugged my Dad.

"I missed you Dad," I allowed myself to take in his scent, the gun oil and fish were predominant as always but he smelt of home, he is home.

He stepped back but held my hands in his, "You look good, you always did. Happy, are you really happy?"

I looked at Jasper then smiled at Charlie, "Yes. Happier than I have ever been. I have the two most important people in my world with me. Dad, this is Jasper, my Mate. I believe you two have already spoken to each other".

They both grinned.

Charlie released my hands to shake hands with Jasper, "It's nice to meet the man that saved my daughters life. I can't thank you enough for that. Her face and the look on yours when you two look at each other tells me everything I need to know. No matter what, she is still my little girl, look after her".

"She is my everything. Looking after her is self-preservation for me, without her..." Jasper shuddered at the thought, unable to continue.

Charlie just nodded.

I put my hand on Jasper's arm, our eyes linked, shutting out everything else. I pushed all my feelings for Jasper to him. Love was a huge part of those feelings but there was also the intensity of completeness that reflects what he was trying to tell Charlie.

Billy bought us out of our bubble as he approached to talk.

Billy broke the flood gates, with his hug we were enveloped with Wolves and imprints and anyone else in the know about Shifters and Vampires.

It was mid morning by the time numbers started to thin.

I spotted Jake sat by himself over by the tents. He hadn't been over to say hello yet. I looked at Jasper and let him know, "I need to go say hello and try and clear the air".

Jasper nodded and told me, "I'll be over with Charlie, Sam and Billy".

I walked over and sat next to Jake, "Hi, long time no see".

"I loved you so much. I thought you were dead," came his broken response.

"I'm so sorry Jake. I love you too but as a brother. Faking my death was decided to be the best way to keep the tribe safe and me. It was a long lonely painful time for me until my heart stopped beating. I could never have been what you needed," I told him softly.

"It would never work between us now," he said sadly, then his expression changed to mischief, "You stink too much!"

I laughed at him, "Talk about the pot calling the kettle black, Jacob Black. You reek!"

With that it was as though all the tension had gone. He let go of his hope that he could ever be with me and we went back to the sibling like relationship I always wanted with him. We managed to go back to pre-wolf teasing and joking as though the rest had never happened.

We talked and chatted for a while.

Billy waved for us to join them.

"Are you and I okay now?" I had to be sure.

Jake had a brief flare of pain across his features before the smile, "Yeah, well as okay as a Cold One and a Shifter can be".

The rest of the morning was spent catching up. Jasper explained all the intricacies of the ally promises in a mating ceremony.

Billy grasped the upshot that the Volturi had in effect promised to help us if the Quileutes were ever under attack.

"So they can stop phasing if they want and you will protect us?" Billy asked, sending a surreptitious glance at Jake.

"Yes," Jasper confirmed.

"We will stay out of the area if you want. We can ask that no Vampires come into this region. If ever there are any young people from the tribe that choose to shift I think I can replicate the scent of Vampires sufficiently to trigger the change. Alternatively I can replicate the scent of a shifted Wolf to prevent unexpected shifts. I'm not sure but I think it will work. It would give choice back," many of the Wolves felt choice of a normal life had been ripped from them but some loved it.

The strength of emotion was evident in the tears in Billy's eyes as the implications of my statement sank in.

Lunchtime bought a respite from the questions. Jasper and I took the opportunity to go for a quick run, if only to clear the sinuses!

Ahh, clean fresh air! Much as I love them all the smell makes me want to keep the visits short, electronic communication has never looked as appealing!

We didn't stay away for long. We are leaving tonight so I want to make the most of our time with them.

Sue and Leah claimed me as soon as we got back. The afternoon was fantastic. I got to know my Step-Mum. I can see why her and Charlie work so well together. Leah and I dropped right back into the easy rapport we had so long ago. I owe Charlie huge thanks for how he explained my departure and subsequent change. Jake has been the only one to say anything that has made me feel guilty in the slightest about allowing them to believe I was dead.

Seth keeps popping in and out of our conversations before getting dragged off again. He really is the best kid brother anyone could ever hope for.

Emily, Kim and the other Imprints kept making an appearance. Such a lovely social afternoon as they primped and preened me Quileute style to get ready for the ceremony at dusk.

Seth turned up mid afternoon with Jasper's bag. It was no longer as full as it had been. Charlotte and Kate had written a note for me to explain the contents of the bag. Jasper had let them in on the plans so they had gone shopping for a dress for me. It was a knee length white dress. The style was just a simple dress but the detail and quality were anything but simple. They had thought of everything from underwear to hair accessories to a bridesmaid dress.

I wished Char could be here to be my bridesmaid but we got to share the mating ceremony.

I pulled the maroon dress from the bag and held it up to Leah, "Looks like it was made for you. Would you..."

I didn't get to finish asking her to be my bridesmaid when she let out the loudest squeal known to Wolf-kind! I took it as a yes, since she grabbed the dress and started dancing round holding on to it.

Sue just stood with her hand to her mouth as she laughed with tears running down her face.

While they kept me busy getting ready the others made the clearing into a beautiful grotto with lights, flowers and ribbons.

The wedding was perfect.

No-one missed the irony of Leah and Sam walking down the aisle together. Fortunately they both found humour in the situation. Sam agree to be Jasper's best man since Sam had been involved in the planning from the start.

Dad walked me down the aisle. I never thought I would ever want a wedding ceremony but now it's here I am so grateful I have my Dad. I will always miss my Mum but you can't turn the clock back.

Sue told me how much Charlie had complained about going shopping for a suit but he had tears in his eyes and a soft smile on his face as he saw himself in the mirror.

Old Quil officiated the ceremony. I don't know if the words were adjusted for us but they fit our sort of forever. We exchanged rings but they added a binding ceremony, joining us by tying our hands with a dyed leather cord.

The wedding reception was a Wolf style bonfire. Telling stories, dancing and plenty of food and drink for those that partook.

I overheard Old Quil talking to Billy as the night died down, "I never thought I would see the day when I would marry two Vampires".

"I was so worried about her when she started dating one of them, I tried to warn her off but I'm glad she didn't listen. The first steps were made by Ephraim but I am honoured to see things move forward again," Billy replied.

"Do they know for me to conduct that ceremony we had to make them Honorary members of the tribe?" Quil asked.

Billy looked up and caught my eye with a smile, "They do now. I think they also know even without that they are family".

I nodded to Billy, venom tears which can never fall filling my eyes.

Jasper whispered to me, "You know they mean every word. Billy feels you are his daughter, Old Quil has so much respect for you it is staggering. Sue has nearly as much love for you as Charlie does, and that is saying something. As for Leah and Seth, you are their sister. There is not a single person here that doesn't feel a level of respect or love for you. They accept me because of you".

It took me a while to pull myself back together after that little bombshell. The farewells were difficult.

I told them all I left all our contact details with Charlie, letting him know we would not be there for a couple of months. I gave Charlie the number for the emergency phone I had on me.

I gave Charlie one last hug before turning to run back to the car.

This departure was hard but knowing I can come back, can stay in contact with them, made it so much better than last time.

I sat in the passenger seat and looked at my Mate, "Where to now, my Husband?"

He grinned at me, "Honeymoon, of course, my Wife!"

A/N

Many Thanks to those that left a review. I tried to reply to everyone but I apologise if I missed anyone. I read each and every one but I'm not as organised now I can't reply from the emails - Sorry!

I love the reviews, favs and alterts. Thank you so much for taking the time.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

Honeymoon, that was as much of an answer I could get out of him for location.

To be honest I was relieved when I saw we weren't heading to the airport. I have had more than enough travelling overseas.

We headed North. After many hours of driving we were in the Mountains. Mile upon mile of forest and wilderness. The landscape is spectacular and yet familiar with the heavy cloud obscuring the peaks. I know some may find the towering peaks and vast uninhabited landscape intimidating but I find it comforting.

I find peace in the dry open skies yet the overcast, green landscape gives a homely comfort all of its own.

As we rode I let my thoughts return to Forks. Spending some time with my Dad made my chest swell and a warmth suffuse my heart. I have no disillusionment about the loss this life imposes, so being lucky enough to have my Dad still in my life was not something I intend to take for granted.

After leaving the deserted highways, the roads we followed became progressively narrower until we were bouncing along a barely discernible track.

The lodge that came into view was a shock, it looked like someone had picked a house from a rich ski resort and dumped it in the middle of nowhere.

"The Cullen's get away cabin!" Jasper explained as he felt my incredulity, "When a couple wanted some alone time, this is one of the many smaller retreats they maintain. I thought you might like it. It is the least ostentatious and not too far from your Dad. I didn't want to have to travel too far to get you too myself. We can go somewhere different if you want?" he was getting nervous now.

"I love it here. The huge ass house is more than we need but the scenery we drove through to get here is awesome. I can't wait to explore a bit but more than anything," I looked him straight in the eye, "I want you".

The anticipation shot through the roof. It's a good thing I don't need to breathe any more because my chest is so tight I don't know if I could.

Jasper's hooded black eyes met mine, "Come, let me show you around".

I didn't wait for him to get round to open the door. I was out of the car like a shot.

With a growl he intercepted me, whipping me up in his arms bridal style.

"My Wife, I intend carrying you over the threshold and then..." I didn't let him finish. I kissed the words right out of his mouth, not that he complained.

The intensity, hunger and lust for each other just continued to build as he unlocked the door and got us through it.

The bang let me know the door had closed but I was too busy kissing and undoing buttons on Jasper's shirt to care much about anything else.

I know vampires are supposed to have seriously improved memory and senses but all my attention was on the man in my arms. I know we got upstairs and into a bedroom but I'll be damned if I can remember a thing about our route.

Clothes were all lost before the bed came into sight. Jasper kept muttering something about, "First time in bed," but it's so garbled between the searing kisses and when he started on my neck, well, I was lost.

For a cold blooded vampire, it felt like our contact was stirring up a furnace inside me. Every nerve ending is hyper sensitive. Every touch, each point of contact ramped the intensity.

The knotted pulse in my lower stomach demanded attention. I may have never experienced it before but I knew instinctively what I need.

I need him closer, I need him in me.

At last I can feel the pressure of him just where I need him. The angle and intensity of his kisses slowed as his eyes met mine in final confirmation that I want this now. I have no doubt, it is beyond want, I need him.

Pushing every bit of love, lust and need at him I pushed myself onto him. The burning, stretching intrusion is mind blowing.

When fully seated he paused, the tender look of overwhelming love made my eyes fill with tears, "I love you so much," his whispered before kissing me with such tenderness.

Pulling up slightly I could feel the smirk grow on his lips as he pulled back. The full rightness I felt retreated with him but as he plunged back in me the tensions within me grew beyond anything I could have imagined.

I met each trust, each stroke put rhythmic pressure on my clit and the slap of his balls spiralled me higher and higher.

Our grunts and growls became more and more animated. I reached my precipice. I shattered. I roared in release. He continued pounding into me as I clenched around him. His roar followed mine. The feeling of his release pulsing into me extended my release.

With an overwhelming need I bought my mouth to his neck. He mirrored my action as we each bit down on the others neck. The taste of his venom pushed me back over the edge.

Our trusts died slowly as the spasms settled.

With a boneless collapse onto each other, we lay in embrace.

"Wow!" was his first breathless exclamation. I was still wordless.

I managed a nod of my head.

Time had no meaning while we were in that cabin. Later when the power of speech returned we talked about the bites.

We both worried about what the other thought of it but it felt right. Just brushing the new scar with the tips of my fingers had me ready to play again. Jasper commented how bites always stung like a bitch but this hadn't. They were intense but an orgasm is not what he had ever associated with a new scar!

Vampires don't need sleep but that doesn't mean we don't need a break. I think three full days were spent in the bed before we first moved to another location. We did a lot of exploring in those three days.

Much of the venom is reabsorbed by our skin but even so I was ready for a shower. Our shower escapades were cut short by limited hot water supplies. Neither of us wanted cooling off, we like the heat too well!

Collecting our clothes up off the floors and the stairs caused another delay when I made the mistake (?) of bending over to pick things up wearing only a towel.

I heard a growl as warning. He pulled me to him, holding my head firmly with one hand, he kissed me hard. His other hand he ran slowly down my side, leaving a fiery wake of sensation in its wake. He stroked down to my hip, he reached around kneading my butt before dropping his hand further, down my leg. A twist of his wrist turned his hand to my inside thigh, instead of going up to where I desperately wanted him, his hand continued down. His hand arrived at my knee then he lifted my leg slowly but surely onto his shoulder. I felt his smirk through his kiss as he felt my shock and anticipation. His hand began it slow leisurely trail back up my leg. Just as I hoped his fingers would be at last on my centre, he grabbed his dick. Using his hand he guided the head of his dick to my folds. He teased me, stroking my folds and dipping in me but not enough to satisfy my craving. I caught the glint in his eye just before he slammed into me hard. He pounded into me like a jack hammer. This angle had him hitting all the right spots inside me. My orgasm hit like a ton of bricks, the intensity making my leg turn to jelly.

I fell backwards onto the stairs. Jasper fell with me but he kept going never missing a stroke. The stairs gave me something to brace against but not for long when Jasper grabbed my other leg. With my legs over his shoulders I leaned back into the stairs. I put one hand over my head to brace against the next step up. The other hand I slid around until I had his balls cupped in my hand. I gently rolled and juggled them, His growl became broken as he fell over the edge. Using his gift he pushed his orgasm on me taking me back over. My clenching release extend his release, the circling emotions kept us both going. He stopped but the slightest movement from him had me spasming long after I thought I had calmed down. I let my legs fall but only as far as his waist.

He pulled me too him, carrying me back to the bed.

Wow, yet again. I'll never look at stairs in the same light again.

It wasn't until the fifth day that Jasper got all the way outside to go as far as the car to get us some hunting clothes.

As we set out to hunt we held hands and ran, talking softly, just as we had done in previous months.

The scent of a bear silenced our chatter and our running changed to stealthy hunt mode. Rather than separate as we have always done in the past we stayed together both hunting the same animal. Yet no territorial urge encouraged us to step down from the others meal.

We attacked as a team. The bear didn't stand a chance, not that it would have done against just one of us but against two it would be quick.

We drank together, eyes locked, noses touching as we drained its life blood.

As we let the carcass fall to the floor we dived for each other. Nothing could stand in our way. Our Vampires were out. They play a far more intense game than their human counterparts.

Our clothes were the first casualty, the shredded scraps joined the bears remains.

Trees and rocks also succumb to our mating dance.

It was intense, almost a sexual fight for dominance which neither of us won or lost. Our primal joining was a war of pleasure. We each fought to sate our own needs and release. Days and nights passed. Our claiming of the other changed as our beast recognised an equal in the other. Our mating dance changed gradually. We both started to attend to the others needs. Our animals realised that even more pleasure was possible.

A stray hand caused the purr to intensify, holding back a release intensified it when it washed over us both together. The overpowering need to claim changed to the equally intense need to protect. The hard claiming fucks were still very much part of the dance but we spent increasingly more time stroking and caressing.

Jasper stood pressed close up behind me, rubbing himself rhythmically against me as he gently pulled leaves and twigs from my hair. As he move round me to finish my hair I pushed him to the ground straddling him. The unending cycle of rub and grind continued as I cleaned his hair. I reached up to get a twig tangled into the back of his hair. Gently I removed it. The lift to reach the last tangle lined us up again. Twigs and dirt was forgotten again as I sank down onto his shaft.

Our purrs intensified again. He leaned back, his arms supporting his reclined form. Planting my feet firmly either side of his hips I rode him hard. I heard his growl breaking out. He was getting close. Leaning forward he freed his hand, bringing it to my needy centre. He rubbed at a speed only a vampire can attain as I rode him faster and harder to yet another peak.

The pulsing eruptions still coursed through us as he spun me round. I continued to ride him but obviously not fast and hard enough. He pushed me forward onto all fours. He was on his knees behind me. His pounding never faltered. I met his every thrust. Still not quite enough, he stood behind me, pulling me up with him, never losing our connection. His speed and power were greater in this position. Our roars of release shook the forest.

Strokes and caresses took over again. The cycle repeated. Positions and locations varied but our combined pleasure was the one constant.

Our primal courtship lasted over two weeks when we came to reckon up later. The bear was only our first joint feed.

We left many clearings and even a crater or two in our wake. The bear, quite a few deer and a moose, not to mention the rest of the debris had a good burial in the craters once our animal lust abated.

Our time in the forest allowed the Vampire in us free reign. The human part of the personality is still aware but it's almost like watching yourself from inside a glass prison. You can see, hear and feel everything that happens but you can't do anything about it.

The Vampire has no society imposed inhibitions. Sex and nudity are natural and should be embraced. Blood is food, we need to eat to live. A Mate is mine, the only thing that matters as much as me. Territory is just ensuring a food supply and keeping my Mate safe. Maintaining the territory and having a trusted warrior to watch your back when you are enjoying your Mate makes tactical sense.

I have always been quite shy and reserved. I even made Jasper nip to the car to fetch our luggage due to my inhibitions. I had never done a walk of shame in the previous nights clothes. Running around the forest without a stitch of clothing had me cringing initially. The days went by, I became more comfortable with the idea. The sun on my skin, skin to skin contact with Jasper, the look in Jasper's eyes when he looked at me naked, all broke down my insecurities.

As the time went by I became closer to my vampire self. It was still her and me but I could start and influence our actions. She led me out of my shell and I helped lead with the caresses and pleasing of our Mate. She could take down the prey, I could eat cleaner so we wasted less.

As we walked back to the house it was no longer her and me but us. My Mate used to call his Vampire 'The Major', he no longer makes the distinction. We had both joined with our Vampires as we physically claimed each other as True Mates.

I had done a complete 180 in my attitude to hunting attire. What is the point of wrecking perfectly good clothes? The trees tear them, teeth and claws of our prey rip them, blood stains them and most importantly they delay me claiming my Mate!

He is my Mate and I don't want anyone to see him in all his glory, I know he feels the same. When we are around others, even our Vampire sides agree, we should be covered. We are alone at the moment so we intend to enjoy every second of our freedom.

The house suffered after we combined with our Vampires so we had to compromise. We used the house for showers and long luxurious hot baths but we kept most of our sexual exploits out in the forest and lakes. Slow gentle love making the house can withstand, Vampires fucking tend to be destructive to their surroundings!

We repaired the damage we caused but the rest of our time was spent in the bubble of our Mate. Talking was very low on the priorities. We just enjoyed each other while we had the privacy to do so.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

We were procrastinating. We had told every one we would be gone for two months. The two month mark had been and gone weeks ago. We were so wrapped up in each other, neither of us wanted to tear ourselves away from each other.

We started with 'after the next hunt we'll head back', but each time we went hunting we got carried away and it took days just to emerge from the forest.

The excuses and reasons for staying just another day, 'it's better for us to travel at night, we can pack tomorrow afternoon'. Always tomorrow, we would touch or catch the others eye and end up indulging in each other yet again.

We are insatiable. As Vampires we don't tire. Our only need, apart from each other, is blood. We have made hunts into foreplay.

We had been on honeymoon for four months when we agreed we needed to head back. I did have a deal sweetener. The little cabin that I showed Jasper all those months ago had a few improvements made to it. I had Roy install a back boiler to the stove and put some solar panels in. Hot water, such a simple luxury. The cabin had an extension put on the side with a huge, sturdy wet room in it. Roy told me while we were still in Volterra that he had done everything I requested and added a few extras. I hadn't had the chance to find out what the extras are as Roy was determined to keep it a surprise.

The idea of moving into the cabin when we returned was enough to get us separated long enough to pack up, tidy the house and lock it up.

I should have been a two day drive but we got waylaid in Yellowstone. We desecrated some hot springs for a week or so. The combination of hot water, not having to breathe and abundant wildlife made the place idyllic until we were nearly caught by some hikers. We were out of season for tourists and extremely remote but still! We were distracted in our favoured position for the location, '69' in the hot water. We discovered that even without the need to breathe, surfacing to fill out lungs had other benefits; not only the contrast of hot water and the cool air but the benefit of releasing the air from our lungs when back under the water. I love the feel of bubbles directed over my clit just as Jasper enjoys bubbles running up his shaft or hitting his sensitive head. We were so busy teasing each other we never noticed them hiking towards us until it was almost too late. We heard them as they were getting all huffy about finding our clothes discarded. We had to run back to the car in the nude. We would have had to make the return journey that way regardless of getting caught as our clothes were too badly ripped to wear again. We were still giggling like naughty school children when we got back to the car.

The rest of the drive was uneventful. We managed to keep the tone light in the car. Jasper drove and kept his eyes on the road. I kept my eyes locked on the road or out of my window. We learnt early in the drive that if I so much as glanced at Jasper, my lust kicked in. As an empath Jasper immediately picked up on my feelings and reciprocated. We fed each other until neither of us could hold back.

We were talking and laughing about almost getting caught up at the springs as we arrived at Peter and Charlotte's house, they have the better track to their house than I do to mine!

They four of them had hear the car approaching. They all stood waiting for us.

Peter just can't help himself. As soon as we got out of the car he started with his ribbing, "Well I never, look it's the honeymoon couple. Did you get stuck on his cock?"

Jasper's demeanour flipped from laughing and joking to angry and protective.

Peter and Charlotte took an involuntary step backwards, they lowered their head and eyes taking a submissive posture. Garrett and Kate noticed their change in stance then looked back at us. With one glance, they too lowered their heads and eyes.

Peter's voice was clear but meek, "I'm sorry Major, I meant no offence to you or your Mate".

Jasper looked at me, his anger at Peter had gone. Since Jasper and the Major have combined he is more protective of me.

I could see the sparkle of humour in his eyes, "You should know better than angering a newly mated couple. I will let you off this once but I will not be so lenient in future. We are going to the small cabin. We are not to be disturbed unless an emergency arises," he kept his voice cold and hard just as 'The Major' would sound.

He winked at me then sent me a wave of amusement.

The four of them kept their eyes firmly on the ground. We ran into the woods in the direction of the cabin. Jasper pulled me gently to a stop and gave me the signal to raise my shield.

We stood and listened. It was nearly five minutes until we heard a voice, "Are we clear?" Charlotte whispered.

After another minute Charlotte whispered,"Why is The Major out? Will she be all right?"

Peter replied just as softly, "I don't know why the Major is back, I'm sure she will be fine, she is his Mate just as much as she is Jasper's Mate. We will have to watch what we say. The Major hasn't got a sense of humour".

Jasper was giggling as he heard them panicking about 'The Major', "We can have so much fun with this".

I looked at Jasper and shook my head. Boys!

"You can tease Peter a bit but he is your brother. Seeing you as the Major will bring back all their memories of the past. Let them know you are whole now. I think it will help them heal. How about we go and christen the cabin then come back and put them out of their misery?" I suggested.

He pouted slightly but agreed not to keep the changes from them too long. At the mention of christening the cabin his eyes darkened. He grabbed my hand and set off like a shot.

We reach the cabin. Jasper had to stop to unlock the door. He is one of the rare men that actually can multi-task! He pulled me too him, I crashed into him. Our lips locked. He turned the key but we didn't get as far as opening the door. We went slow enough to remove our clothes intact. Jasper peppered my face, throat and chest with kisses. As soon as we were free of barriers he pushed my back gently up to the door. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he lined us up. He pushed in tantalisingly slow. The feeling of ecstasy filled me from head to toe as he stretched me, filling me with his dick.

He held me tight to him, rolling his hips to plunge back in with increasingly more speed and pressure.

I cried out incoherently as I hit my high. He held his rhythm as I pulsed around him. As I came back down from the peak he pulled me away from the door and leaned me backwards. I hung in mid-air parallel to the ground. He supported me with his hands on my ribs. The new angle and the unrelenting stroke pushed me over again. The intensity for this one pulled him with me.

We at last made it through the door into the cabin. The changes to the interior didn't interfere with the feeling of serenity I had felt before. A look of peace and contentment came onto Jasper's face as he took in the simple room.

"I've lived in all sorts of mansions and over the top houses with the Cullen's but I've never had the sense of Home that I feel when I walk in here," Jasper murmured as much to himself as to me.

I concentrated on the feelings I felt on entering this small cabin. He just nodded with a soft smile.

"Do you know how much it means to me that we both take pleasure from the simple things in life? I spent so long trying to conform, to be something I'm not, to make others happy. I love that I can make you happy just by being myself," his words trailed off as my love and respect for him bought him to a halt.

We went to investigate the 'wet room'. Let's just say it was bigger than the original cabin. The Spas Alice dragged me to have nothing on this! I think every water based relaxation or treatment was represented in here. They had gone to town and then some yet they still managed to keep a rustic feel to it all.

After all our intentions of christening every surface in the cabin we just ended up curled up together reading a book, soaking up the peace this place exudes.

We read the book at almost a human pace. When we finished I could feel Jasper's emotions as he unconsciously projected them to me. The peace and contentment gave way to determination and resignation.

"We are going to put them straight?" I asked him in confirmation.

"Yes, you were right. They need to know. It might take Peter and Char a while to get used to though," he answered with a wry smile.

…...

It did take them a while to get used to 'The Major' being about. As the months passed they came to realise that 'The Major' and Jasper were now one. Peter still tenses when Jasper's stance or eyes take on the characteristics he recognises as the Major, staying wary as it slips away just as quickly.

Garrett and Kate had an easier time accepting the changes Mating had bought forth in Jasper. Kate had known Jasper Hale but not well. Garrett had got to know Jasper during all the conflict as he came to terms with himself so the final merging hadn't been a shock.

When Peter first thought 'The Major' was tamed he took a while testing his boundaries, so to speak. The loss of appendages was a common occurrence for a while. Fortunately fingers and toes are easier to reattach since they were the more frequent losses but arms and legs were also casualties. A 'mellow Major', I think is the closest Peter came to describing the differences in Jasper. Peter and Char had seen Jasper through his highs and lows. They were both happy for him to at last find peace for both sides of his ego.

The six of us were family, not the bickering 'God gave us our relatives, Thank God we choose our friends' style of family but we managed to get the best of both. We got to choose our family, I couldn't wish for better.

The extended family, on the other hand, came with their own personal flavours of drama, some more than others. Some of the Cullen's still couldn't come to terms with a Jasper that isn't compliant. He tries so hard to stay polite and stay true to himself. I find things nearly as bad when they slip into treating me like the young fragile human they once knew. After about a week of visiting the irritation that needs suppressing combined with an empath that is now all leader starts reaching breaking point. So we stuck to small doses of them, to keep our stress levels manageable

Charlie got his happily ever after. I don't get to see him in person very often but technology allows us to stay closer than we have ever been.

Our love just grew day by day. In our ever changing world we enjoy each other and our family in this window of peace and happiness.

_Thank you to those that have followed my story and reviewed each chapter. I found your continued support invaluable for finding the energy to rewrite this story after I lost the original._ _I have so many new twists in my head that I could add but I think here is a good place to break. I hope you enjoyed._

_Many Thanks to all the readers that made it this far! It's great to see the traffic stats and see how many have taken an interest._

:)-J


End file.
